Slammer!!!

I forget where I read this. It was either National Geographic or the Smithsonian Magazine, but anyway, Mozart had a seething, relentlessly vile hatred of chickens. Hens, roosters---it didn't matter----he loathed every single one of them. "Why?" you ask.
Because anytime he'd ask one who their favorite composer was, they'd always say the same thing: "Bach! Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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One of my seasonal favorites:

Three guys from OSHA investigating rumors about a radioactive baby:

"THAR HE GLOWS!"

Don'r wake the baby!

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What the .... ?!?!?   Why do these women always block the view of the car?!?!?!?  

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I suppose there's more to it, and I guess it's not a joke, per se, but I found it kinda "funny":

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Is a guy who only aims his flies at the swirly parts of the stream....

......... an eddy fisher???

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks.
They stopped and examined the tracks closely.
The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey."
The second lawyer responded,"Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we'll waste the day."
Each attorney believed himself to be the superior woodsman, and they both bitterly stuck to their guns.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.
Well, he said, 'It's what mummy calls me sometimes'.
The little girl screams to her brother 'Don't eat it, it's an a**hole..

https://www.gocomics.com/theargylesweater/2024/01/22?ct=v&cti=2090270

DANG! The picture won't show.

It's Goldilocks, as a real estate agent, opening the back door, and telling the bears

"And this is the master bathroom"

Pic opened okay for me.   When we're driving, if/when the need arises, it's "the public washroom."

More toilet humor:

A wife sent her husband a romantic text message.
She wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you ate crying, send me your tears. I love you".
Her husband texted back: " I'm in the toilet, please advise.

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Q: What’s the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at the mental hospital?
A: The patients are the ones that eventually get better and go home!

Huh, and just like that, Grandma was off the list for the Church Fund Raiser!!!
Slammer!!!

check out Jethro 

quote:

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Originally posted by chuckv97

check out Jethro 

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So there we are, my friend Mac and I, cycling a back road between Niagara Falls and Fort Erie (Sweep Tour Leaders on the MS Tour), and we pass someones front yard, with the tires, car parts and assorted junk all around. The only thing missing was the toddler clothed only from the waist up. And Mac says, "Clampetts. Clampetts live there."