Ah, yes! Sometimes, at night, in bed, I will hear the "hippopotamoo" , their mating call, sometimes accompanied by a rather strong odor.
quote:
Originally posted by mike gregoryAh, yes! Sometimes, at night, in bed, I will hear the "hippopotamoo" , their mating call, sometimes accompanied by a rather strong odor.
Now that there is funny! (I wish there was an emogi with a bigger laugh!)
An aging rock star
Cloned to have help with her shows
Cher and Cher alike.
.
Coming back from a meeting in Mesa this morning I passed the wetlands east of Tempe Town Lake. There were all kinds of birds there. Terns, ducks, pelicans. Egrets, I saw a few, but then again, too few to mention.
If Handel had been born in the south, would he have written the "Halleluja'll Chorus" instead?
quote:
Originally posted by mike gregoryAh, yes! Sometimes, at night, in bed, I will hear the "hippopotamoo" , their mating call, sometimes accompanied by a rather strong odor.
Well, up on this side of the border they have an odour, not so strong, and kinda maple scented.
quote:
Originally posted by Jbo1Coming back from a meeting in Mesa this morning I passed the wetlands east of Tempe Town Lake. There were all kinds of birds there. Terns, ducks, pelicans. Egrets, I saw a few, but then again, too few to mention.
Were they good? 'Cause one good tern deserves another.
March 10th was "TAKE YOUR CHILD to WORK" day at Milwaukee's MITCHELL INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT.
Some kids loved it, but one kid complained ALL the way through, and all the way home.
Dang WHINEY BRAT!!
.
When we drive past a yard or farm that's somewhat unkempt (?), I'll sometimes remark to Mrs. Owen: "That looks like an interesting place." Her: "You mean more like junk!?!?!" So I ask you experts, which is it?
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case. Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
Unknown Author
quote:
Originally posted by Owen.
When we drive past a yard or farm that's somewhat unkempt (?), I'll sometimes remark to Mrs. Owen: "That looks like an interesting place." Her: "You mean more like junk!?!?!" So I ask you experts, which is it?
Fellow Multiple Sclerosis Tour Leader Mac and I were cycling through the Niagara area when we came upon a place like that. Mac said, "Clampetts! Clampetts live there!" The only thing missing was the toddler naked from the waist down.
Tom Mabe: “Hello?”
Telemarketer: “Yes, can I speak with Tom Mabe?”
Tom Mabe: “Hello?”
Telemarketer: “Yes, can I speak with Tom Mabe?”
Mike: “-Yeah…”
Tom Mabe: “Yeah, lemme bring you up to speed. You’ve actually called a murder scene… Mr. Mabe is no longer with us.. I’m Officer Clarke, I’m conducting a homicide investigation. I want to ask you a series of questions… First to all, what was the nature of the business you had with Tom Mabe?”
Mike: “I…I had no business with him. I’m sorry to have bothered-
Tom Mabe: No no no hang on, I’m going to ask you to stay on the phone… this call has already been traced and we may need to come in for further questioning…”
Mike: “You don’t understand, I’m just calling-”
Tom Mabe: “No, you don’t understand. Unless you want to be charged with Obstruction of Justice, it is imperative that you keep your @$$ on the phone, Mike.”
Mike: “How about you just talk to my supervisor?”
Tom Mabe: “No, we will get to your supervisor in a second. First, gimme your whereabouts…”
Mike: “I’m at work.”
Tom Mabe: “You’re at work?”
Mike: “Yes.”
Tom Mabe: “You bein’ a smart @$$?”
Mike: “No sir-”
Tom Mabe: “Lemme put it to you this way, Mike. Say I want to mail your @$$ a letter. What would I have to write on the outside of that envelope to ensure that the mailman will deliver it right to your @$$? Geographically speaking, Mike, where is work?”
Mike: “40 West (beep), Middleton, Colorado.”
Tom Mabe: “Hold on, that’s 40…”
Mike: “Yes sir.”
Tom Mabe: “Michael, hold on one sec, alright?”
Mike: “Yes sir.”
Tom Mabe: “(off phone to cops) Get the Middleton Homicide Department on the phone. Yeah, give them this information. Tell them there been a Talk In Connection with a fatal shooting and aggravated robbery.” (on phone) “Mike, how did you know Mr. Mabe again?”
Mike: “Wait, you’re calling the Middleton Police Department?! I’m hundreds of miles away! I don’t even know the guy, I’m in Colorado!”
Tom Mabe: “No, no, it’s not that scary, that’s just a formality. Have you been to his place of residence?”
Mike: “No!”
Tom Mabe: “OK, and tell me again what, where were you last night between the hours of 8 and 10?”
Mike: “I’m not feeling really comfortable with any of this…”
Tom: “Have you even ever spoken to Mr. Mabe, Mike?”
Mike: “No, I don’t even know the guy- that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”
Tom Mabe: “Ok, great, just calm down, hold on, look, just back up… I’ve got just one more question fer you, Mike… as you well know, I’m sure, Mr. Mabe was a flaming homosexual. And there is no easy way of asking this… I don’t wanna embarress you or nothin’… but… were you his gay lover?
Mike: What?! No! What the hell kind of question is that?!
Tom Mabe: Look look, if gay is your way, that’s Ok. I still know there are a lotta you gay people in that closet. Not sayin’ I haven’t thought ’bout it myself… you know? Go out to Las Vegas, or somethin’. Buy a couple o’ drinks… cut lil’ Mexican midget…”
Mike: “This is ridiculous! (hangs up.)”
..
.
.
They say before your criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you do criticize them, at least you're a mile away . . . and you'll have their shoes!!!
Edited by - Omeboy on 05/26/2024 14:21:43
.
The story of my life... 
Edited by - Owen on 05/30/2024 19:40:38
Note: Don't focus in the front.... She is in the back.... 
My next-door neighbor got some bad news. His wife ran off with a tractor salesman.
He didn't even know what was happening until she sent him a "John Deere letter."
Somebody told me that John Deere says they are no longer going to manufacture manure spreaders.
That's one product line they refuse to stand behind. 
Edited by - Omeboy on 06/17/2024 11:53:12
quote:
Originally posted by OmeboyMy next-door neighbor got some bad news. His wife ran off with a tractor salesman.
He didn't even know what was happening until she sent him a "John Deere letter."
Somebody told me that John Deere says they are no longer going to manufacture manure spreaders.
That's one product line they refuse to stand behind.
!!!!! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING! !!!!!
Any further mention of "manure spreaders", and I shall REPORT you to the MODERATORS for violating the "NO POLITICS" Rule!
Threaten me all you want.
But just keep in mind that I have a "brown belt" in SumFlungDung.
Let's grab our banjos and SING!!
====================================
"And they was Flung Pu Fighting!"
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Privacy Consent (EU/GDPR Only)
Copyright 2026 Banjo Hangout. All Rights Reserved.
