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A young man was fixing to walk into a bar and saw an old man sitting on a bucket by the curb fishing from a pothole in the street. The boy felt sorry for the old man, went up to him and said, " Hey old man... Why don't you come on inside with me, where it's warm, and I'll buy you a drink." So the old man dropped his cane pole by the curb and went with the boy. As the old man was sipping on his free drink, the boy, with a sheepish grin, asked him, "Well, old man, how many have you caught today with that came pole?" The old man smiled and answered, "Counting you, eight!" ??

Question: How do you tell the difference between a banjo solo and a root canal?
Answer: Good question.

This would be funny, IF it wasn't so accurate....

^^^
It was a continuous source of mild amazement, to my Catholic friends, how many times, every year, someone would call the parish office to ask

"What time is Midnight Mass??"

Nyuk nyuk

Two snowmen were standing out in the front yard. One says: "Hey, I got one of those DNA test kits a week ago. The other says: "Oh, Yeah! Did you get your results back? And the first snowman says: "Yep! It says I'm 85 percent water, 8 percent dirt and 7 percent dog pee."

..

"It's raining BODY PARTS !!!"

facebook.com/reel/180262793714...&s=TIeQ9V

Bad joke, but here it is. You might need to be a fan to understand.

What brand of Motorcycle would Peyton Manning ride, if he rode Motorcycles?

"YAMAHA"!

Dunno if it's a "JOKE", per se, but the guy in the parking lot had a BATMAN sticker on his SUV, so I snapped a picture of my Batmobile scooter next to his vehicle.

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Likely it's been around before... nonetheless:

Specific to Thursday the 28th

Absolutely amazing how easy it was, to move a finger over just a little bit.

quote:

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Originally posted by Texasbanjo

I have had to remove one joke because it was political, racist and sexist.  Let's keep  to the rules, please.  

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A [_______P_________] and a [______R__________] and a [______S_________] walk into BRAZEN HEAD,  the oldest pub in Dublin, and the bartender says

"Oh, No!!  Not YOU again! That joke is older than the pub, and it's just not all that funny!" 

If I had 5 dollars for every MATH test I failed in school, I would have 47 dollars!!

.

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One of my seasonal favorites:

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The Helsinki-Toronto flight was loaded with 400 passengers and only 200 lunches. The airline made a mistake and the crew was in a difficult situation. However, an intelligent flight attendant has come up with an idea. About 30 minutes after take-off, she announced:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know how this happened, but we have 400 passengers on board and only 200 lunches!" “Anyone who is kind enough to give up food for someone else will receive a free unlimited amount of wine throughout the flight.”
Her next announcement was made 6 hours later: "Ladies and Gentlemen, if anyone wants to change their mind, we still have 200 lunches available!"

An old drunk was stumbling down a country road. Out of nowhere, a car comes speeding down the road and just misses the old man. However, the driver loses control and flips the car into a ditch. The old drunk runs up to check out the car and finds the driver still alive and basically unhurt. The drunk stirs the driver and asks, "sir, are you ok?" The driver responds, "Yes, my son, I am not hurt. I am a pastor and I had Jesus riding with me.
The old drunk remarks, "Well, you better let him walk along with me. The way you drive, you're gonna kill him."