Omeboy - Posted - 08/14/2018:  12:25:44

Some people only want money. Some people only want love. This guy? He only wanted to hit the nearest restroom.

TheLastWord - Posted - 08/14/2018:  12:37:05

Last of the forgotten rainbow tribe.

Omeboy - Posted - 08/14/2018:  12:41:01

He's very excited. All the bears at Yellowstone National Park exclusively invited him to a "Greet and Eat" party.

Edited by - Omeboy on 08/14/2018 12:45:55

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/14/2018:  14:11:26

hasn't been excited since he was blue

Omeboy - Posted - 08/14/2018:  17:39:16

HIM: Wow! Did you see this story about the ballerina who ate too much coleslaw before a performance?

HER: No! What happened?

HIM: She had to doo-doo in her tu-tu.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2018:  18:00:24

Hopefully I won't look this way once the LSD wears off.

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/14/2018:  20:00:38

His hernia doctor is now only 2 miles behind him

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/15/2018:  03:13:55

I've misplaced my pencil stub.

TheLastWord - Posted - 08/15/2018:  03:48:05

As a kid, loved to bite off the eraser on a pencil.

Omeboy - Posted - 08/15/2018:  06:09:46

Commands one of the highest salaries in Hollywood as Godzilla's personal body-guard.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2018:  07:27:53

Another chemistry experiment gone terribly wrong

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/15/2018:  09:07:43

in dire need of oil change

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2018:  13:19:58

Once told Duane Eddy to try playing on the higher strings

Omeboy - Posted - 08/15/2018:  13:34:28

HIM: Says here they're gonna add a new wing to the med school.

HER: My oldest brother's been over there for a long time.

HIM: Really! I didn't know you had an older brother at the med school! What's he in over there?

HER: He's in a jar.

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2018:  13:39:18

Has a doppelgänger at the Mayo Clinic being studied by geeky labcoat-bedecked scientists

Omeboy - Posted - 08/15/2018:  13:43:50

HIM: By the way, Hon, is that other geeky lab-coated, bespeckled doctor brother of yours still practicing surgery?

HER: No, Babe. He had to give it up. His practice interfered too much with his drinking.

Edited by - Omeboy on 08/15/2018 13:44:17

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/15/2018:  18:55:16

They had trouble segregating me.

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2018:  19:46:05

Has trouble fitting into the outhouse

TheLastWord - Posted - 08/15/2018:  19:46:29

Once ate a whole box of Cherrios while singing the blues.

Omeboy - Posted - 08/15/2018:  20:13:13

Lassie once refused to do a love scene with him until he promised to gargle with Clorox for ten minutes. (She could be a real b##ch.)

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2018:  20:35:32

Keeps getting dogs from the pound, but they always run away

Omeboy - Posted - 08/15/2018:  20:59:32

Gee, Honey, you might want to try this tonight. It says here that if you sleep with your head in the microwave, it will eliminate all your wrinkles. Ready to "hit the hay?"

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/16/2018:  03:02:09

slept with his head in the microwave

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2018:  04:04:02

Learned to sleep sitting up

Omeboy - Posted - 08/16/2018:  06:49:05

Most folks enjoy looking at old family photos. He enjoyed looking at his old X-rays.

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/16/2018:  08:34:52

The Lone Ranger's weird brother

Omeboy - Posted - 08/16/2018:  08:51:19

Before he lost all that weight, they called him "Chubs." After that bad sick spell, they called him "Slim." Then the chain saw accident happened and they called him "Stubby." Now he has a pet alligator. Reckon they'll be call'en him "Lefty" any day now.

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/16/2018:  11:43:46

Went on an acid trip in ‘67 and never quite made it back

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2018:  14:11:45

There’s an interesting article in here about a guy who’s been on an acid trip for 51 years

TheLastWord - Posted - 08/16/2018:  14:51:26

What a long strange trip it's been...

Omeboy - Posted - 08/16/2018:  14:57:07

Started out at "the bottom" in show business as "Jabba The Hut's" personal hygiene assistant.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2018:  18:59:53

Here, eat a couple of these mushrooms he said....

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/16/2018:  19:05:59

Here,,, take these bennies and 3 shots of moonshine, they told him.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2018:  19:07:00

Here’s a job you could do

Omeboy - Posted - 08/16/2018:  19:41:24

His sainted grandmother provided some deep insight into his odd profession: "That boy's been slamm'en head-first into stuff since he was knee-high to a tall chicken. He's got more stitches in his noggin than a six dozen baseballs."

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/17/2018:  02:25:14

is afraid of losing his joke/quote book

Bigfoot21075 - Posted - 08/17/2018:  03:18:34

The ONLY known picture of Tom Dooley. Fact.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2018:  07:06:58

Livin' the pickup dream

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2018:  07:09:09

Without a sidecar he’s havin’ trouble pickin’ up girls

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/17/2018:  09:48:44

has never picked up a girl

Omeboy - Posted - 08/17/2018:  09:49:32

Some times he gets a headache, some times he gets a head-cold, but one thing he'll never ever get in his head is a joke.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2018:  12:50:37

Has been like this ever since Albert Hofmann gave him something for his headache

Omeboy - Posted - 08/17/2018:  13:10:52

As he grew up, he discovered that a book can leave a lasting impression. Sometimes a movie can leave a lasting impression. And sometimes the rear axle on a Peterbilt can leave a lasting impression.

Edited by - Omeboy on 08/17/2018 13:12:10

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/17/2018:  13:30:45

Thinks he's witty and funny,,(NOT)

Omeboy - Posted - 08/17/2018:  13:31:19

After high school, many kids have their choice of colleges. He had his choice of penitentiaries.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2018:  13:34:20

Look where his choices got him

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2018:  16:10:23

Choosing to remain horizontal

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2018:  19:10:00

There’s an ad in here for a used land speed record motorcycle

Omeboy - Posted - 08/17/2018:  19:14:52

You got to hand it to this guy. Nobody can crash a wedding like he does!!!!