Omeboy - Posted - 03/27/2020:  13:52:04

NASA announced today that it will be impossible or us to reach the "outer zone" of our solar system. Not because of radiations zones, not because of asteroid zones, but because we finally ran out of extension cords.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/28/2020:  05:31:41

Running out of patience

Omeboy - Posted - 03/28/2020:  07:37:28

"Toaster Command, this is Mission Control. We have good news and bad news."

"Roger that, Mission Control. What's the good news?"

"We just made contact with a highly advanced alien civilization in your vicinity."

"Roger, Mission Control. And what's the bad news?"

"They want to mate with you as soon as possible."

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/28/2020:  08:54:23

Makes a few extra bucks by selling petrified turds claiming they are chocolate crystals.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/28/2020:  09:13:45

Can’t seem to find a market for duck turds

Omeboy - Posted - 03/28/2020:  09:35:28

This porch is what the locals call, "The Vegetable Section."

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/29/2020:  06:23:31

Once dated a Pomeranian named Ms. Freckles.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/29/2020:  08:21:51

Hasn’t had a date since Flora MacDonald left office

Omeboy - Posted - 03/29/2020:  09:39:51

The global epidemic has introduced "The Boys" to a very foreign concept-------S O A P.

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/01/2020:  03:45:27

Tis is what happens if you believe the rumors that drinking bleach will cure the virus.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2020:  04:25:34

Happy not to be domesticated

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/01/2020:  06:44:14

Prefers to toast bread with unbleached flour

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2020:  06:54:02

Hoarding unbleached flour and baking yeast

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/02/2020:  03:46:38

Experimenting with unbleached flour rocket fuel.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2020:  03:56:44

Working on alternatives to migration

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2020:  03:58:47

Keeping 6’ apart from Hamilton Beach frolickers

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2020:  03:59:59

Refugees from the ship of fools

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/02/2020:  04:46:22

Watch out for flying toasters!

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2020:  05:24:28

Has been away for a while but still looks the same

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2020:  06:54:27

Light years away from Toastmasters International Hdqurtrs

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2020:  11:45:38

Light years away from the 21st century

Omeboy - Posted - 04/02/2020:  14:02:51

What happens when old toasters die? They all head to that big land-fill in the sky.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2020:  15:15:16

Likes listening in to the party line

Omeboy - Posted - 04/02/2020:  15:58:05

"The Boys" believed it when they said it was okay to go to the store if you just wore a mask and gloves.

They lied.

"The Boys" all got arrested for indecent exposure.

Edited by - Omeboy on 04/02/2020 16:01:36

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/11/2020:  04:23:55

Mental note: running through screen doors is a bad idea!

OM45GE - Posted - 04/11/2020:  04:44:59

Unable to find face masks that fit the bill

Omeboy - Posted - 04/11/2020:  10:21:52

"Mission Control, this is Toaster Command. We absolutely must return to Earth ASAP!"

"Toaster Command, this is Mission Control. What seems to be the problem?!!"

"We forgot the marmalade.""

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/12/2020:  06:05:31

The look you make when Aunt Gertrud brings out a plate of her Hungarian goulash.

Edited by - TheLastWord on 04/12/2020 06:06:31

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/12/2020:  07:23:55

Would rather eat toadstools

OM45GE - Posted - 04/12/2020:  10:32:28

Never heard of social distancing

Omeboy - Posted - 04/12/2020:  10:36:12

Lt. Uhura: Captain, I'm picking up an incoming message from the alien planet on the hailing frequency.



Angry Alien: Halt at once or be destroyed! You are in direct violation of the Prime Directive: Section 17, Article 53.



Captain Kirk: We beg your pardon, but we are not familiar with your planet's Prime Directive. Tell us, how are we in violation?



Angry Alien: There is absolutely no breakfast service after 11:30 a.m.!!!

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/12/2020:  17:12:21

Spent too many hours in front of a Marshall amp blasting heavy metal distortion

Omeboy - Posted - 04/12/2020:  18:08:34

"The Boys" are currently restructuring a "plan of action" that will have them back to doing absolutely nothing in no time.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/13/2020:  03:40:32

The break with reality is complete

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/13/2020:  07:29:15

Hoping for an astronomical breakthrough

Omeboy - Posted - 04/13/2020:  07:55:37

After slumbering for centuries in a radioactive under-sea cave, "The Boys" are fully awake and ready to rise out of the sea and destroy Tokyo.....Now they just need to figure out what country Tokyo is in.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/14/2020:  03:30:12

I told you that was too much LSD

Omeboy - Posted - 04/14/2020:  07:49:03

A scene from that "never aired" Star Trek episode---- where the Enterprise receives a distress call from a planet inhabited by highly evolved breakfast pastries.

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/15/2020:  03:52:08

Creatures from the Black Lagoon.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/15/2020:  04:33:23

Doesn’t like being called a swamp creature

Omeboy - Posted - 04/15/2020:  07:06:53

Would you believe---

yet another scene from an "never aired" Star Trek episode---- where the Enterprise encounters a planet ruled by a dictatorial small appliance "fix-it man" who plots to overthrow the cosmos by filling it with burnt toast.

Edited by - Omeboy on 04/15/2020 07:07:41

OM45GE - Posted - 04/15/2020:  08:13:51

So much for social distancing

Omeboy - Posted - 04/15/2020:  08:40:02

In this episode of "Toaster Command," the entire fleet "shorts out" when they plunge into the dreaded "Bathtub Nebula."

OM45GE - Posted - 04/15/2020:  12:44:30

We’re at a loss for words

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/15/2020:  15:25:22

The team hired Jesse White to be their “fix-it man”.

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/15/2020 15:28:05

Omeboy - Posted - 04/15/2020:  20:13:13

This is the new headquarters for the CDC------The Center For Doofus Control.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2020:  03:20:27

Center For Doofus Control poster dog

Omeboy - Posted - 04/16/2020:  10:31:59

In the future, viruses will no longer be encased in protein coats, but will exchange them for durable, metallic skins. Leaving Earth, they will traverse the cosmos. And anything getting in their way will be.........well, let's say "toast."

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2020:  10:53:50

Had a galpal b**** named Iris - dumped her when Iris got the virus.