TheLastWord - Posted - 03/27/2019:  03:57:45

Hasn't seen the sun in years...

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/27/2019:  04:47:48

Got thrown out of restaurant when he told waitress to put it on his "bill"

OM45GE - Posted - 03/27/2019:  04:57:15

Was told to keep things under his hat and hasn't taken it off since

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/27/2019:  06:55:01

Wore a Homburg when he visited Freud’s grave

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/27/2019 06:56:51

Omeboy - Posted - 03/27/2019:  07:41:30

Only smokes Cuban bananas.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/28/2019:  02:50:18

Has been smoking something strange

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/28/2019:  03:55:10

Has an entire family of chipmunks living in his beard.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/28/2019:  07:45:58

Hasn’t spoken to Chip’n’Dale since he slept on their couch for a week

OM45GE - Posted - 03/28/2019:  08:02:20

Doesn't see the appeal of a couple of rodents

Omeboy - Posted - 03/28/2019:  09:02:08

Sent his resume to several nursing homes, offering his services as a "therapy dwarf."

OM45GE - Posted - 03/28/2019:  11:40:52

When they said you would be meeting a colorful character, I bet this wasn't what you expected

Omeboy - Posted - 03/28/2019:  11:47:15

For his girlfriend's birthday, he gave her a new tunic made entirely out of "no-pest" strips.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/28/2019:  11:51:13

Had a girl friend once, but she left saying she was getting bored with “mania”

Omeboy - Posted - 03/28/2019:  16:42:48

Never had a steady girl-friend, but he did monkey around a lot.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2019:  03:27:01

Should have listened when they said not to spend so much time in the tanning booth

Omeboy - Posted - 03/29/2019:  07:33:45

Police just busted his street corner business for selling what he called: "Used Dental Floss Of The Rich And Famous."

OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2019:  11:50:31

Modeling hats of the rich and famous

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/29/2019:  14:30:05

Modeling beards at the “Down & Out Club”

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/29/2019:  16:46:44

Dreams of being an eBay top model.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2019:  17:28:35

Often forgets that he’s fowl

stanleytone - Posted - 03/29/2019:  17:31:41

With THOSE feet it wont take long to pass thru...…………...

OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2019:  17:34:21

Is it a lefty banjo or a reversed negative?

Omeboy - Posted - 03/29/2019:  17:54:25

It's happened again! The cops just busted his street corner pop-stand for selling what he called: "Celebrity Ear Wax" and "Navel Lint Of The Stars."

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/29/2019:  18:11:11

Tried to paint the town red last night, but got busted

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/29/2019:  18:44:37

His favorite hockey move is Michael Jackson's moon walk.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/29/2019:  22:22:30

Thought Stonewall Jackson was a country singer from Gary, IN

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2019:  03:46:39

Thought Gary Indiana was a country singer from Jackson MS

Omeboy - Posted - 03/30/2019:  08:28:53

He's putting his girlfriend thru night-school to become a bowling alley waitress.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2019:  08:51:33

Dons bowling shoes that match his hat when he shoots pool

Omeboy - Posted - 03/30/2019:  09:03:00

Picks up a little side-money by charging rent from his fleas.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2019:  09:09:08

Another bright idea gone terribly wrong

Omeboy - Posted - 03/30/2019:  09:12:33

You and I just think of him as a little short guy. But to his fleas and beg-bugs, he's a high-rise condominium.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2019:  09:49:28

His fleas fled when the colors changed

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2019:  10:58:46

Fled from the 9 to 5 rat race in 1967

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/30/2019:  11:49:04

Was once beaten by a Freddy the Turtle in a 100 yard dash.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2019:  12:09:33

Has developed a fear of flying

Omeboy - Posted - 03/30/2019:  15:50:04

Has a life-long fear of soap and anything hygienic.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2019:  16:08:56

His ex-girl friend tried to wash him clean with turpentine and lye soap

Omeboy - Posted - 03/30/2019:  18:45:17

Jane Goodall refuses to take his phone calls.

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/31/2019:  07:13:18

The results of experiencing with high velocity paints.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2019:  09:05:52

Bought an after-burner for quicker migrations

stanleytone - Posted - 03/31/2019:  11:44:43

I tried using a banana for a puck once...…………...yuk!

Omeboy - Posted - 03/31/2019:  13:26:09

Despite all their rejection letters from music publishers, they still write love songs about inflatable women.

Edited by - Omeboy on 03/31/2019 13:28:30

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2019:  16:00:54

No, I don’t see a difference

Omeboy - Posted - 03/31/2019:  16:54:56

He got bad news last week. Not only did his doctor tell him he was very anemic, but his fleas sued him for non-support. You should see the lawyer they hired------he's a real blood sucker.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2019:  19:48:30

Fired his lawyer when he couldn’t get him a $1,000,000 settlement with Pittsburgh Paints Inc.

Omeboy - Posted - 03/31/2019:  20:18:24

Once offered King Kong a three million banana contract to be his goalie for one season. Kong threw him out of his office. And 20 seconds later he landed on the other side of town.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2019:  03:17:23

Suing his milliner

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/01/2019:  03:38:55

Still regrets selling is motorcycle.