TheLastWord - Posted - 02/07/2020:  15:15:58

Compensates the lack of no ears with huge cheeks.

Omeboy - Posted - 02/07/2020:  15:47:12

Wanted to throw in with Boris and Natasha, but they said he was "too evil" even for them.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/07/2020:  15:54:28

Always wanted to come back as a chipmunk

OM45GE - Posted - 02/08/2020:  03:02:35

Says chipmunks taste like chicken

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/09/2020:  04:02:07

Spends way too much time on BHO.

Omeboy - Posted - 02/09/2020:  05:56:49

Even though he's a creature of nature, he's loaded with artificial ingredients------------by choice.

Edited by - Omeboy on 02/09/2020 05:57:15

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2020:  17:16:40

This not a creature of nature

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/09/2020:  17:19:55

Uses BenGay on his aching neck

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2020:  17:36:52

Been a long time gone

Omeboy - Posted - 02/09/2020:  18:11:20

At least his collar keeps him from chewing on his paws.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2020:  03:20:45

His collar didn’t help prevent this

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/10/2020:  15:06:41

Has been linked to the missing plow fiasco of 1965.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/10/2020:  15:14:53

Thinks he’s the missing link between tadpoles and eagles

Omeboy - Posted - 02/10/2020:  17:31:27

He not only saw a sasquatch one time, he married it's sister.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2020:  03:13:55

You’re a dog, dignity has nothing to do with it

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/11/2020:  04:10:21

Claims he can mind meld with a clam.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2020:  04:22:26

Frequently dines on freshwater clams

Omeboy - Posted - 02/12/2020:  12:57:49

Just got hired as the new "Activities Director" at the local morgue.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2020:  15:10:16

Thinks he’s a watchdog ever since he heard his owner say he was full of ticks.

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/12/2020:  16:09:05

Has a large collection of dryer lint.

Omeboy - Posted - 02/12/2020:  16:27:29

The president of the National Rifle Association recently invited him for dinner. When our web-footed friend asked, "What's on the menu?" The president shouldered his gun and said, "Ohhh...that would be YOU!"

Edited by - Omeboy on 02/12/2020 16:30:10

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/12/2020:  17:40:36

Was once on Letterman for “Stupid Pet Tricks”

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2020:  17:51:29

Unencumbered by pets

Omeboy - Posted - 02/12/2020:  20:40:48

Was uncomfortably encumbered when his cummerbund uncannily contained a rather cumbersome cucumber.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/13/2020:  02:53:24

This stunt got him disqualified from the dog show

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/13/2020:  07:53:39

Got thrown out of Antony van Leeuwenhoek’s lab for fogging up his microscope

Omeboy - Posted - 02/13/2020:  11:22:50

Spreading joy and bacteria where ever he goes.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/13/2020:  16:38:15

Spreading lips wherever he goes

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/13/2020:  21:56:23

Often went to Billy Shakespeare’s rehearsals to wink at the girls

OM45GE - Posted - 02/14/2020:  03:19:32

About to be surprised to learn this car has been disconnected from the train

Omeboy - Posted - 02/14/2020:  12:19:25

In case of an emergency, his shirt collar can be used as a flotation device.......or an adult diaper.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/14/2020:  14:08:14

Pet adoption isn’t for everyone

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/14/2020:  14:52:54

Is known as slow hopper at the Bucket Barn.

Omeboy - Posted - 02/14/2020:  15:54:25

Posing as an unassuming water fowl, he spied on Bullwinkle for Boris and Natasha.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/14/2020:  16:29:04

So that’s what happened to my car keys

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/14/2020:  16:47:17

Thinks he has the keys to unlock the mysteries of the universe

OM45GE - Posted - 02/15/2020:  02:52:05

Named most likely to ride the rails in his high school yearbook

Omeboy - Posted - 02/15/2020:  10:42:08

In his high school year book, he was voted the kid most likely to end up on the FBI's "least wanted" list.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/15/2020:  15:48:38

Your mom warned you that your face will get stuck that way

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/15/2020:  15:51:30

His mom always warns him about the beard lice migrating to his collar

OM45GE - Posted - 02/15/2020:  15:58:54

Not what anyone expected when they joined the Porsche club

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/15/2020:  18:17:37

Just submitted his application for Team Outhouse.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/15/2020:  19:43:04

Has a map of all duck brothels along the Florida-Labrador flyway

OM45GE - Posted - 02/16/2020:  03:23:20

Waiting for American Pickers to arrive and make an offer on the visible pump.

Omeboy - Posted - 02/16/2020:  06:33:44

Yesterday a fortune teller told him, "I see many changes in your future. Most will happen fast and involve an adult diaper."

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2020:  08:47:30

Taking the name “pinscher” literally

OM45GE - Posted - 02/16/2020:  15:35:41

Next gas 227 miles

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2020:  15:44:44

Fills his pantaloons up with rectal emissions

OM45GE - Posted - 02/17/2020:  03:07:19

Full service gas station