chuckv97 - Posted - 10/17/2022:  21:47:15

Once complained about a bug in his soup at Joe’s Diner….. said it wasn’t cooked long enough.

Omeboy - Posted - 10/17/2022:  21:55:04

Based on his chronic medical condition, his doctor finally advised him to become a railroad bum. He always faints at the sight of work.

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/20/2022:  21:09:10

Once fought off a dog at a fire hydrant

OM45GE - Posted - 10/21/2022:  05:26:47

Proud of his latest find on Reverb

Omeboy - Posted - 10/21/2022:  13:07:59

As a gun-toting, top-of-the-line predator, he really resents being lumped in with all the "flora and fauna."

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/21/2022:  13:25:57

Had an argument with Euell Gibbons about edible flora after turning green on poison mushrooms

Omeboy - Posted - 10/21/2022:  20:03:05

His music teacher told him those funny little squiggle marks in the music are "rests"-----NOT 15 MINUTE "NAPS !!!"

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/29/2022:  12:59:20

Went busking with his harp but got run off by an angry street corner preacher

Omeboy - Posted - 11/29/2022:  10:04:34

He finally got back on his feet last week. That's what happens when you miss too many car payments.

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/30/2022:  09:48:45

Never caught on that his jokes weren’t funny

Omeboy - Posted - 11/30/2022:  14:34:24

Never caught on that everyone thought he was a joke.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/18/2022:  21:17:02

Quit sniffing gasoline last month but it was too late….

Omeboy - Posted - 12/22/2022:  19:20:15

Finds his banjo playing improves after he huffs some black-top sealer.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/22/2022:  19:50:09

Gets nervous when folks around the campfire start singing “Old Blue”

Omeboy - Posted - 01/02/2023:  18:11:45

Gets nervous when folks around the campfire start talk'en about their favorite possum recipes.

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/05/2023:  22:17:33

Just heard the house cat kicking kitty litter on his food dish

Omeboy - Posted - 01/05/2023:  22:42:06

When he bought his banjo, the salesman asked him if he also wanted the optional "Death and Dismemberment Plan?"

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/13/2023:  22:47:48

Used to wear canine spectacles but lost them somehow when feasting on goose poop at the park.

Omeboy - Posted - 01/14/2023:  09:21:13

Got arrested last week for molesting a sock-puppet.

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2023:  21:26:37

Chewed the hell out of his Christmas stocking looking for Milkbones

Omeboy - Posted - 01/24/2023:  21:35:42

  Got banned from the "All You Can Eat Buffet" when he jammed a whole meatloaf and two casseroles into his cheek pouches.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/03/2023:  18:07:27

Went back to Germany to find his family tree

Omeboy - Posted - 02/03/2023:  18:38:35

Once proposed marriage to a girl possum. Rather than say "yes" or "no," she "played dead" until he finally went away.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/15/2023:  12:35:07

Got fined for humping patio furniture

Omeboy - Posted - 02/15/2023:  12:56:38

Was arrested in Walmart last week for shop-lifting and illegal use of cheek pouches.
(Yeah, he tried to "play dead" but the cops didn't buy it.)

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/20/2023:  22:52:10

Ordered a blow-up fire hydrant from Amazon.com

Omeboy - Posted - 02/21/2023:  07:18:18

He and his inflatable girlfriend went to couples' therapy.
The therapist said there was nothing wrong with their relationship that a few tire patches couldn't fix.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/26/2023:  20:29:57

Used to stick his head out the window on Sunday drives until his drool covered the following car’s windshield

Omeboy - Posted - 02/26/2023:  21:07:15

He openly admitted to his girlfriend that he is a bi-pedal, anthropomorphic marsupial, but she's not holding that against him.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/08/2023:  21:27:40

Has never gotten over Fifi , the French Poodle down the street, getting spayed

Omeboy - Posted - 03/08/2023:  21:33:17

He's been turned down by all the nursing homes and retirement centers in the area. Apparently nobody wants to hire a musical "therapy possum."

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/17/2023:  08:54:29

The local dog-walker gal tried walking him one day but his fixation on fire hydrants drove her crazy

Omeboy - Posted - 03/17/2023:  13:45:26

Tries to make himself attractive to women by jamming his cheek pouches full of cash.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2023:  23:38:39

Just heard that his doghouse has become a nighttime stop for rabid coyotes

Omeboy - Posted - 04/02/2023:  23:46:53

He thought this cute coyote girl had "the hots" for him because she drooled every time she looked at him.
Turns out she just had a bad case of rabies.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2023:  21:32:46

Keeps trying to hump Uncle Jasper’s prosthetic leg

Omeboy - Posted - 04/30/2023:  19:17:39

His latest album, "Mood Music For Marsupials" is not exactly a hit. But he does get steady orders for it from archery clubs and pistol ranges.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/30/2023:  21:27:40

Had his canine teeth pulled due to gum rot from scarfing down goose poop at the park

Omeboy - Posted - 05/03/2023:  17:07:06

He asked his banjo teacher what he could do to start make'n better gig money.
The teacher thought for a minute and said: "You might start stick'en up liquor stores."

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/03/2023:  21:07:29

Used to think he was a Saint Bernard and carried a miniature barrel of rum around his neck for “emergencies”.

Omeboy - Posted - 05/05/2023:  12:46:41

Thanks to his close relationship with Dr. Scholl, he's the only guy who plays an orthopedic banjo.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/13/2023:  08:35:03

Failed his eye exam when he couldn’t discern a fire hydrant from a prosthetic leg

Omeboy - Posted - 05/16/2023:  12:32:41

His "23andMe" results just arrived in the mail.
They said he was half-possum...... and half-nuts.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/02/2023:  20:28:28

Goes to “Canine Milk Bone Anonymous” meetings to try kick the habit

Omeboy - Posted - 06/07/2023:  13:23:31

He recently left a message on the swamp message board:



"Learn how to play the banjo with your feet while hanging from your tail!!! Call me. Please, no freaks."

Edited by - Omeboy on 06/07/2023 13:23:59

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/18/2023:  20:01:08

He heard the missus say “Dog Gone It!” so he left town on the 7:13 freight headed for Reno.

Omeboy - Posted - 06/20/2023:  13:57:02

Popular Mechanics rejected his article on "How To Make A Banjo Out of Your Lawnmower."  But said they might be interested if he'd write an article on how to make a lawnmower out of a banjo.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/23/2023:  13:00:27

Went to Huckleberry Hound’s birthday party but couldn’t get past the first 3 words of “Oh My Darlin’ Clementine” during the group sing-a-long

Omeboy - Posted - 06/23/2023:  13:08:31

After his first concert in the forest, the Keebler Elves dipped his banjo in chocolate and fed it to a bunch of ravenous wood-peckers.