Omeboy - Posted - 04/26/2019:  19:06:36

His hockey team is the only one in the league with a team doctor and a zoo veterinarian.

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/27/2019:  03:48:16

Just drank beer till he was blue in the face

OM45GE - Posted - 04/27/2019:  03:53:02

Happy he's not blue in the face

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/27/2019:  04:33:42

Has the largest dust ball collection in North America.

Omeboy - Posted - 04/27/2019:  06:43:41

Once told Porky Pig he could command a higher salary if he refused to wear pants.

DC5 - Posted - 04/27/2019:  07:40:39

Looked at too many Peter Max posters in 1972.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/27/2019:  13:23:11

Never cared for Peter Max posters

Omeboy - Posted - 04/27/2019:  14:50:16

Got permanently banned from Walmart after they found him standing on his head in an open bag of Old Roy Dog Food.

Edited by - Omeboy on 04/27/2019 14:50:45

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/27/2019:  17:39:51

Hangs out at Times Square to compete with the lights

Omeboy - Posted - 04/27/2019:  17:49:43

His chain of breakfast restaurants tanked. Apparently folks didn't care to eat at the "International House Of Hockey Pucks."

DC5 - Posted - 04/27/2019:  17:52:43

Picasso was his plastic surgeon.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/27/2019:  17:58:07

Thinks he’s Gadabout Gaddis’ clone

DC5 - Posted - 04/28/2019:  05:42:44

Failed the Lancelot Link audition.

Omeboy - Posted - 04/28/2019:  06:21:01

The reason he didn't help the band load up the van . . . he was already pretty loaded himself.

DC5 - Posted - 04/28/2019:  09:27:46

Self portrait after using mushrooms.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/28/2019:  18:42:36

Swore off mushrooms after seeing Omeboy

Omeboy - Posted - 04/28/2019:  19:27:28

On weekends, he goes to the local laundromat and "binge watches" the big dryer.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/28/2019:  20:05:09

Sleeps in dryers to scare lonely widows

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2019:  03:35:42

Has his pick of lonely widows

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/29/2019:  04:01:37

Leader of the Lonely Widow Motorcycle Club of Fartville, NY.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2019:  04:13:58

Avoids flying over Fartville, NY when migrating

DC5 - Posted - 04/29/2019:  05:22:05

Captain of Fartville, NY soccer team.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2019:  06:27:33

Huge supporter of the Fartville, NY soccer team

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2019:  08:26:52

Got run out of town for flim-flamming the mayor’s wife

DC5 - Posted - 04/29/2019:  08:48:25

Went to college with Ronald Reagan.

Omeboy - Posted - 04/29/2019:  10:11:16

Claims that he never inhales when he drives thru downtown F#rtville.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2019:  14:50:11

Has obviously inhaled too many times

Omeboy - Posted - 04/29/2019:  14:54:51

His favorite tunic is the one he calls,"Old Yeller." The commune threatened to expel him if he didn't burn "Old Brownie."

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2019:  18:10:25

Has never been allowed to join a commune

Omeboy - Posted - 04/29/2019:  18:50:36

Elon Musk will no longer take his calls about completely idiotic, high-tech tunic ideas.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2019:  21:27:25

Planning on going west to hang out in the Painted Desert

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/30/2019:  04:13:04

The coach yelled "HOCKEY" and Chuck pooped in his pants

DC5 - Posted - 04/30/2019:  05:53:38

Been trying to tune this thing for the last 6 months.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2019:  06:48:32

His roadies tune his instruments

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/30/2019:  07:37:40

Thinks the sound of instruments are messages from outer space

Omeboy - Posted - 04/30/2019:  08:42:52

Was banned from a dating website when they discovered he lied about his species.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2019:  10:02:35

This isn't what I meant when I asked for an off-color joke

Omeboy - Posted - 04/30/2019:  10:16:23

Deliberately fibbed about his height on a dating website, adding an additional four feet.........(And failed to clarify that his "beautiful wavy hair" only grows off his chin.)

OM45GE - Posted - 05/01/2019:  03:19:08

Denies that he was born during Monet’s Blue Period

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/01/2019:  03:45:42

Likes to walk past grave yards while farting.

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/01/2019:  03:49:57

eats his breakfast while polishing his bill

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/01/2019:  05:49:10

His bass-playing wife has pulled all her hair out

DC5 - Posted - 05/01/2019:  08:13:31

Following the all banana diet plan.

Omeboy - Posted - 05/01/2019:  10:11:01

When he found this guitar under the bed, it was so covered in fuzz he took it in for "One Hour Martinizing."

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/01/2019:  10:26:05

His fuzzy thinking has led him to this stage of delusion

Omeboy - Posted - 05/01/2019:  11:06:03

His namesake sports bar when down the tubes. Apparently nobody wanted to eat "monkey wings."

DC5 - Posted - 05/01/2019:  13:10:19

Doesn't realize Halloween was 6 months ago.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/01/2019:  16:06:18

Still goes Trick or Treating every Halloween

Omeboy - Posted - 05/01/2019:  16:52:06

For next Halloween, he's going dressed up like Moses' little brother. (So what else is new?)