Omeboy - Posted - 09/25/2021:  15:37:18

His last wrestle-mania pay-per-view event, "The Big Swamp Stomp", was not well received when it became apparent that both contenders had guzzled down a six pack of malt liquor before the main event match. youtube.com/watch?v=Doms2LTmklc

OM45GE - Posted - 09/25/2021:  17:01:15

Tried to French kiss his girlfriend and was charged with assault with a dangerous tongue

Omeboy - Posted - 09/26/2021:  10:41:27

Just in case you wondered, his girlfriend's name is "Anne Phibian."

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/30/2021:  12:39:40

Frequents piercing parlo(u)rs where he often gets the bum rush

OM45GE - Posted - 09/30/2021:  17:32:41

Looking for loopholes in his prenuptial agreement

Omeboy - Posted - 10/01/2021:  10:25:56

Yesterday he received a strongly worded "cease and desist" letter from the Walmart Corporation after it was discovered that he planned to rename the Okefenokee area. He was going to call it: "Wally & Marty's SwampMart."

OM45GE - Posted - 10/01/2021:  12:04:02

No, you may NOT lick my feet

Omeboy - Posted - 10/01/2021:  16:43:21

It's weird. You and I think of his favorite haunt as one vast treacherous swamp. He thinks of it as just one big cocktail party.

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/07/2021:  04:11:12

OH GOODNESS,,what a face full of mouth you have.....

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2021:  06:32:36

The face looks familiar

Omeboy - Posted - 10/07/2021:  11:05:04

His latest hair-brained venture: He plans to publish "The Wetland Weekly Gazette."

Real Jurassic style journalism; murder and mayhem in the marsh; stories you can sink your fangs into. Plus columns like: Turtle Talk, Gator Gab, Moccasin Moments, Toad Tales and Quicksand Quickies. (Unfortunately, most of the photos are of him.)

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2021:  17:50:57

Somebody hit the paws button

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/12/2021:  10:24:40

As my stomach turns

OM45GE - Posted - 10/12/2021:  16:29:28

Wishing he’d learned to read

Omeboy - Posted - 11/18/2021:  18:31:11

As the king of the swamp, he knows how to stop a big bull alligator from charging---------you just cancel his credit cards. Then he can't charge a damn thing!

Edited by - Omeboy on 11/18/2021 18:32:40

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/18/2021:  21:03:21

He’s of two minds about nearly everything

OM45GE - Posted - 11/19/2021:  02:46:00

About to get drenched by a vase full of cold water

Omeboy - Posted - 11/19/2021:  19:07:19

So what's his latest money-making scheme? Brace yourself.

He's selling Pet Identity Theft Insurance. With that kind of coverage, Little Daisy won't have to worry if Fluffy and Butch steal her identity and charge thousands of dollars' worth of doggie toys to her credit card.

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/19/2021:  20:23:24

Has a forehead with dentures

Omeboy - Posted - 11/19/2021:  20:27:29

Has been ran out of three towns for selling Pet Identity Theft Insurance door-to-door.

OM45GE - Posted - 11/20/2021:  03:58:20

Has been eating Magic Chewing Gum at Willy Wonka’s factory despite his warnings

Edited by - OM45GE on 11/20/2021 03:59:32

Omeboy - Posted - 01/16/2022:  20:26:09

After a smart-alecky business grad he hired quipped that the swamp would be more profitable if it was paved over and turned into a parking lot, he's now toying with the idea of spending the entire swamp's budget on "Ready-Mix Concrete" and renting a fleet of cement mixers.

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/16/2022:  20:28:54

Once sat in Johnny Carson’s green room for 3 days

Omeboy - Posted - 01/24/2022:  18:00:12

Was once issued a court order to stay at least three states away from Johnny Carson.

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2022:  18:09:22

Often sneaks into 3-D movie theaters

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2022:  03:26:34

Winner of the Paul R avatar lookalike contest

Omeboy - Posted - 01/25/2022:  17:06:29

His grandiose attempt to turn the swamp into a symphony orchestra ended before it even got started --- when all the gators decided to eat their music teachers.

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/25/2022:  17:10:08

Benjamin Moore banned him from the company cafeteria

Omeboy - Posted - 01/25/2022:  17:21:59

His hopes for a promising career ended the day they invented the "automatic pin setter."

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2022:  17:49:20

Held his breath until his face turned blue

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/25/2022:  18:54:38

Can’t ‘bear’ to look

OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2022:  03:20:31

Delighting fans everywhere

Omeboy - Posted - 02/04/2022:  07:54:52

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/05/2022:  21:44:51

Once panned for gold in the Yukon and discovered turquoise

Omeboy - Posted - 03/02/2022:  20:02:06

After playing his banjo non-stop for three days at the Bean Blossom Bluegrass Festival, he suffered what podiatrists call "duh agony of dee feet."

OM45GE - Posted - 03/03/2022:  02:35:25

And we thought Chrystal Gayle said it made brown eyes blue

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/03/2022:  06:42:24

Despises the tune “Dueling Banjos”

OM45GE - Posted - 03/03/2022:  11:29:40

Bringing new meaning to “toe jam”

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/04/2022:  23:17:56

Self-appointed king of the pond

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/04/2022 23:18:27

OM45GE - Posted - 03/05/2022:  03:43:08

Self-appointed king of the swamp

Omeboy - Posted - 03/05/2022:  06:13:06

Yesterday,he called his secretary and told her: "Cancel all my appointments for next week."
She said: "You don't have any appointments next week."
And he said: "Well make a bunch for me and then cancel them."

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/05/2022:  08:01:56

Once went fishing near Chernobyl

Omeboy - Posted - 03/05/2022:  13:51:27

After a heroic attempt to play "Malaguena," an emergency medical team had to remove his right leg from a twelve string guitar.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/05/2022:  18:01:32

Yes, he’s blue but he’s still looking at the world through rose colored glasses

Omeboy - Posted - 03/06/2022:  05:50:51

Good help is hard to find. His plans for an Okefenokee Bed And Breakfast fell apart he discovered that half of the guests were eaten by their hosts.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/07/2022:  03:07:46

Was surprised at how difficult it was to find a neon blue fedora

Omeboy - Posted - 03/08/2022:  07:58:59

In his latest attempt to attract more visitors to the swamp, he's put up a big sign that says: "OUR LILY PADS NOW HAVE Wi-Fi !!!!!"

OM45GE - Posted - 03/08/2022:  09:30:00

His hat has Wi-Fi

Omeboy - Posted - 03/08/2022:  13:57:27

You and I think of Okefenokee as one big vast swamp. He thinks of it as New York City with really bad plumbing.