OM45GE - Posted - 09/06/2021:  10:10:31

Trying to buy a swamp buggy online

Omeboy - Posted - 09/06/2021:  13:47:27

For his birthday, his thirty million kids gave him something for "the frog-dad who has everything"--- a fully loaded pest strip. He ate it in one gulp.

Edited by - Omeboy on 09/06/2021 13:47:53

OM45GE - Posted - 09/06/2021:  16:33:32

Say Ahhhhhhhhhh

Omeboy - Posted - 09/07/2021:  12:50:11

That's what he always says after he eats a fully loaded pest strip!!

OM45GE - Posted - 09/08/2021:  05:15:09

Can you see anything Doc?

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/08/2021:  08:38:59

Keeps having feuds with Churchy LaFemme

Omeboy - Posted - 09/08/2021:  08:55:53

He's been passing himself off as a possum, but rumor has it that he's actually "La Chupacabra" incognito.

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/08/2021:  09:02:06

Ticked off at his zookeeper for withholding the best bananas

Omeboy - Posted - 09/08/2021:  09:03:56

Sometimes he'll "play possum" just to get out of paying the rent. According to his wife, he did a great job of "playing dead" on their honeymoon night.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/09/2021:  04:47:38

Yes, I am mocking you

Omeboy - Posted - 09/09/2021:  10:09:17

His latest hair-brained scheme:  turn the swamp into a uniquely challenging golf course. Or as he calls it: "The only golf course that was ever designed by Robert Trent Jones and Jacque Cousteau ! And don't worry about your golf handicap.  By the time you get past the gators and moccasins, you'll have a new outlook on handicaps."

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2021:  02:30:24

Say it, don’t spray it

Omeboy - Posted - 09/10/2021:  10:38:48

After years of analysis, wildlife scientists have determined that he is the only frog in any swamp that wears "Hello Kitty" socks with alligator shoes........which probably explains why he carries a gun.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2021:  16:47:44

After years of analysis, wildlife scientists have determined that he is the only primate in existence with a tongue the size of Kansas

Omeboy - Posted - 09/10/2021:  17:44:22

For their anniversary, he gave his fiancé a cigar-box full of dead June bugs. She was over-joyed---it was exactly what she wanted.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2021:  02:50:48

His mother warned him not to put his tongue on an icy flagpole

Omeboy - Posted - 09/11/2021:  09:08:42

Inspired by a great revived Broadway hit, he's written a swamp-based play about two teenage rival frog gangs. He's calling it  "Wet Side Story."

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/12/2021:  14:54:13

Trying to catch flies like a frog

Omeboy - Posted - 09/12/2021:  15:36:39

After constant screaming from his parents (who he still lives with), he recently took down all of his heavy metal posters and replaced them with posters of @KyBanjo, @The LastWord, @DC5, @J e f f, @OM45GE and @5B-Ranch. His parents have moved out.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2021:  03:44:23

Works as an envelope licker

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/13/2021:  07:24:04

Works as a hitman in Okefenokee Swamp

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2021:  10:36:20

Has a friend who is a hitman

Omeboy - Posted - 09/13/2021:  11:46:42

Speaking of dangerous friends.... So far, all his offers of "delicious Cajun cook'en," "downhome Southern cuisine," and a "24-hour snack bar" have yet to entice the Loch Ness Monster to move to the swamp. He'll keep try'en.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2021:  03:02:29

Lisp? What lisp?

Omeboy - Posted - 09/14/2021:  14:33:43

Well, he finally got a response from the Loch Ness monster, but it wasn't exactly what he was hoping for:

Dear Mr. Croakley,

Thanks for your very kind offer to fly me from Scotland to Okefenokee. I'm packing my bags and can't wait to sit down to a gigantic steaming plate of fried frog legs!!!! My favorite!!!!  Reallly looking forward to getting my airline tickets. See you real soon.

Best regards and Bon Appetit !!

Nessy

Edited by - Omeboy on 09/14/2021 14:35:45

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2021:  05:08:45

Does anyone know how to get the taste of fried frog legs off my tongue?

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2021:  09:24:07

Got kicked out of the NRA

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2021:  17:33:24

Charter member of the Marsupials of America

Omeboy - Posted - 09/15/2021:  23:01:55

The producers of the award-winning "Nature" program for PBS contacted him to be a consultant on a show about amphibian reproduction. But he walked off the project when they said "NO" to his suggestion to film a big frog orgy.

Edited by - Omeboy on 09/15/2021 23:02:33

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2021:  03:26:26

Has an excess of sweet taste buds

Omeboy - Posted - 09/17/2021:  17:12:36

Despite his "tough guy" reputation and a knack for extravagant ideas, he's the only frog in the swamp that still lives in his parents' basement.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/17/2021:  17:43:57

That’s the last time I’ll French Kiss a shop vacuum

Omeboy - Posted - 09/17/2021:  17:47:47

He's been on something of a mega ego-trip ever since he appeared

naked on the cover of National Geographic.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/18/2021:  04:59:15

Thinking of giving up the tuba

Omeboy - Posted - 09/18/2021:  18:36:26

For those out there with a genuine death wish, he's offering "Croakley's Bed And Breakfast." You'll have your choice of an "All-natural Okefenokee water bed" or "Posturepedic Quicksand" if you prefer. And for breakfast: you're it !!

Yessssss, you'll be just so much gator poop by nightfall------guaranteed !!!

Edited by - Omeboy on 09/18/2021 18:37:54

OM45GE - Posted - 09/19/2021:  11:44:34

My new terrorist friends told me to blow up a bus and I burned my tongue

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/19/2021:  18:08:18

Left Montreal in a huff after they didn’t name him Frog-of-the-Month

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2021:  03:19:44

Consoling his friend after that tough Frog0of-the-Month loss

Omeboy - Posted - 09/20/2021:  13:25:36

And if that wasn't bad enough, he swallowed his chewing gum................ youtube.com/watch?v=tslsfALs87A

Edited by - Omeboy on 09/20/2021 13:26:24

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/20/2021:  13:30:54

His master want a lap dog,,,

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2021:  15:36:20

Sneers at lap dogs

Omeboy - Posted - 09/20/2021:  16:33:07

He always gets the last laugh: youtube.com/watch?v=4EUhY1d0A_k

OM45GE - Posted - 09/21/2021:  02:56:32

Considers himself to be a simian of good taste

Omeboy - Posted - 09/22/2021:  07:23:54

What's the hottest selling item in the swamp?   Bubble-gum !!!! ......youtube.com/watch?v=KoCKFKwtl3I

Edited by - Omeboy on 09/22/2021 07:25:49

OM45GE - Posted - 09/22/2021:  08:34:28

Jealous of talented bubble gum bubble blowers

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/23/2021:  07:26:34

Raised in a tough pond on the other side of the tracks

OM45GE - Posted - 09/23/2021:  11:27:21

Just found out he was supposed to register for the draft several years ago

Omeboy - Posted - 09/23/2021:  19:58:10

Love him or hate him, he's the undisputed "Arnold Schwarzenegger" of amphibians.

 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/23/2021:  20:26:23

Has a cousin who played on the Chimp National Hockey Squad

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/23/2021 20:27:28