Omeboy - Posted - 01/17/2020:  16:28:52

Gets that ruff & ready, "ready-for-anything" look by peeing in a fan.

OM45GE - Posted - 01/17/2020:  17:36:40

Defying fashion norms for a dog’s age

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/18/2020:  16:27:57

Told Captain Cook he’d be eaten by cannibals

TheLastWord - Posted - 01/18/2020:  17:33:36

if he forgot the

Omeboy - Posted - 01/18/2020:  20:14:15

He's a true "water fowl" in that he usually fouls any water he comes in contact with.

OM45GE - Posted - 01/19/2020:  04:05:14

As soon as he lets go, I’m going to bite him hard

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/19/2020:  10:39:13

Has a hard time eating soup

Omeboy - Posted - 01/19/2020:  18:05:05

Told the wife and kids he was just.... "go'en down to the corner for some cigarettes and be right back."

OM45GE - Posted - 01/19/2020:  18:33:54

Man’s best friend my Aunt Fanny

TheLastWord - Posted - 01/20/2020:  06:22:28

Spends every Saturday streaking through the old folks retirement home.

Omeboy - Posted - 01/20/2020:  08:19:08

Was rejected for military service because he was too short, had webbed feet and made a romantic move on the recruiting officer's toupee.

Edited by - Omeboy on 01/20/2020 08:22:27

OM45GE - Posted - 01/20/2020:  10:49:19

No dogs were hurt in the making of this avatar

Omeboy - Posted - 01/21/2020:  12:51:00

His first day as a volunteer at the zoo suddenly ended when they handed him a shovel and pointed to the elephant pavilion.

TheLastWord - Posted - 01/21/2020:  17:18:09

Always wondered why you should never swallow a coat hanger.

Omeboy - Posted - 01/21/2020:  20:52:17

One time, disguised as a fortune-teller, he told King Kong he was "gonna fall really hard for a small blonde."

Edited by - Omeboy on 01/21/2020 20:53:13

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/21/2020:  22:07:17

That disguise’ll never fool the dog catcher

OM45GE - Posted - 01/22/2020:  03:33:06

Channeling Jack Kerouac

TheLastWord - Posted - 01/22/2020:  14:38:05

Once hid out in a WalMart for 15 days disguised as a donut
.

Omeboy - Posted - 01/22/2020:  16:01:00

The reason his girlfriend spends so much time in the pool is because she's actually an "inflatable."

OM45GE - Posted - 01/22/2020:  17:41:16

His girlfriend left him after seeing this photo

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/23/2020:  08:24:15

Has a goilfrend dat wears a neck brace

OM45GE - Posted - 01/23/2020:  11:20:44

His girlfriend hopped a freight heading the other way

Omeboy - Posted - 01/23/2020:  13:54:13

His "23 And Me" results came back yesterday.

Over 60 per cent of his ancestors were "inflatables."

Edited by - Omeboy on 01/23/2020 13:54:40

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/23/2020:  13:55:33

Never bites the hand that feeds him

OM45GE - Posted - 01/23/2020:  18:03:36

Heading to the urologist

Omeboy - Posted - 01/23/2020:  19:06:46

Last on the great Elizabethan stand-up comics: "Shecky" Shakespeare

OM45GE - Posted - 01/24/2020:  02:27:40

Please stop

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2020:  03:52:02

Never wears shoulder pads when playing hockey

TheLastWord - Posted - 01/24/2020:  04:02:56

Was once runner up for Hobo of the year in 1957.

OM45GE - Posted - 01/24/2020:  05:17:21

Always comes in first place

Omeboy - Posted - 01/24/2020:  06:41:15

That's not a ruffled collar----the other playwrights just gave him a power "wedgie."

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2020:  06:55:46

Is buttock-deficient

TheLastWord - Posted - 01/24/2020:  15:02:23

Loves to feel the wind in his hair and bugs in his face.

Omeboy - Posted - 01/24/2020:  15:46:34

We just think of him as some cranky, irascible duck. He thinks of himself as a modern-day pterodactyl.

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2020:  17:11:43

Always clowning around at the dog pound

OM45GE - Posted - 01/24/2020:  17:12:21

Don’t give me any lip

TheLastWord - Posted - 01/25/2020:  06:03:25

Recently discovered a new number between 6 and 7.

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  06:28:42

Loves fractions and decimal places

TheLastWord - Posted - 01/25/2020:  16:12:46

Likes to swim with bowlegged women...

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  18:08:38

Likes to give unwed mothers their start

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/25/2020:  20:07:45

His mother dropped him on his head at 2 years of age

Omeboy - Posted - 01/25/2020:  20:14:34

As a baby, he preferred Marlboros over his pacifier.

OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2020:  05:21:47

This is the result of years of second hand tobacco smoke

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/26/2020:  18:24:53

Used to chum around with Sir Walter ("Wally") Raleigh

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/26/2020 18:25:14

OM45GE - Posted - 01/27/2020:  03:11:00

About to be disappointed to learn there’s no food service in the boxcar

Omeboy - Posted - 01/27/2020:  13:41:45

Discovered a new use for his shirt collar when the port-o-let was out of toilet paper.

OM45GE - Posted - 01/27/2020:  14:48:03

Discovered how tasty toilet paper is

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/27/2020:  18:28:28

Uses Billy Shakespeare’s crumpled up drafts for arse wipe

OM45GE - Posted - 01/28/2020:  03:01:49

About to discover this boxcar is filled with smelly trash