Omeboy - Posted - 05/16/2019:  18:26:32

I don't want to say he's old, but his best friend in grade school was a "lung-fish."

Edited by - Omeboy on 05/16/2019 18:34:13

OM45GE - Posted - 05/16/2019:  19:01:01

Mamma said there’d be days like this

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/16/2019:  22:15:19

His mama got a job as the bearded lady with the Barnum & Bailey Circus

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/17/2019:  01:27:04

Was delighted to find out he is a third cousin of Grape Ape.

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/17/2019:  03:00:40

Once mistaken for a cone head

OM45GE - Posted - 05/17/2019:  03:30:29

His hat cleverly hides his cone head

Omeboy - Posted - 05/17/2019:  05:34:38

He thinks of the hair on his face as a "beard." His fleas & ticks think of it as a combination wild life sanctuary and all-night buffet.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/17/2019:  08:04:58

Once wore an eyepatch

OM45GE - Posted - 05/17/2019:  14:22:55

Once knew how to skate

Omeboy - Posted - 05/17/2019:  14:26:41

Before the unfortunate drill press accident, he was six foot five, had dark, bushy hair and a promising career in sewage management.

Edited by - Omeboy on 05/17/2019 14:27:10

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/18/2019:  10:22:55

Has plans to sell his IQ when it reaches 50.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/18/2019:  18:06:52

In his neck of the swamp, an IQ of 50 is a village

Omeboy - Posted - 05/18/2019:  18:15:25

Got banned from Walmart when he tried to put a large package of cream-cheese on layaway.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/18/2019:  18:25:32

Got banned from Walmart for putting high price tags on their discount paint cans

Omeboy - Posted - 05/18/2019:  18:48:15

Tossed out of Walmart after he went into a fitting room, shut the door and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!!!"

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/19/2019:  14:25:11

Won Mr. Walmart of 2017 by wearing a full body leopard print leotards and a Carmen Merida fruit hat.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/19/2019:  18:53:28

Once flew so low he knocked off Minnie Pearl’s hat

OM45GE - Posted - 05/20/2019:  02:44:46

Wishes he could fly

Omeboy - Posted - 05/20/2019:  13:32:49

He's now the subject of a class action law suit after 300 people followed him one day when he wore a tunic that said: "FREE BUFFET----FOLLOW ME."

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/20/2019:  21:42:26

Had one follower on Instagram - Ronald McDonald

OM45GE - Posted - 05/21/2019:  03:34:40

Of all the stunts his human handlers have come up with, this is the worst

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/21/2019:  03:43:05

Still pondering the meaning of hash browns.

Omeboy - Posted - 05/21/2019:  08:36:40

Once told "The Creature From The Black Lagoon" to go take a long walk on a short pier.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/21/2019:  08:44:01

The result of falling off a pier on the Cuyahoga River in Cleveland

OM45GE - Posted - 05/21/2019:  09:33:57

Wouldn’t have believed a river could burn if he hadn’t been there

Omeboy - Posted - 05/21/2019:  09:40:08

Banned from Target after he took a box of suppositories to the checkout clerk and asked, "where's the fitting room?"

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/21/2019:  09:53:46

Mistakenly used a viagra instead of a suppository pill last night

OM45GE - Posted - 05/21/2019:  14:09:34

Doesn’t realize the puck dropped five minutes ago

Omeboy - Posted - 05/21/2019:  15:29:23

When he admitted that he hadn't washed his tunic in 10 years, his fleas sued him for "animal cruelty."

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/21/2019:  20:27:48

Next chore - paint my teeth

OM45GE - Posted - 05/22/2019:  03:08:58

Next chore, get the puck out of here.

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/22/2019:  04:25:03

Will never have to worry about putting his foot in his mouth

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/22/2019:  08:33:36

Will never have to worry about getting in tune with the sour fiddle player

Omeboy - Posted - 05/22/2019:  09:42:14

Why is grocery shopping like a complete nervous breakdown for him? Because he always goes totally bananas.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2019:  03:24:15

Who is that behind those Foster Grants?

Omeboy - Posted - 05/23/2019:  18:08:31

He's finally hatched his best scheme yet: If he kidnaps 1000 people and demands 10 bucks a piece for them, he can make a cool ten grand!!!

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2019:  18:36:59

Not only colorful, but a math savant

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/23/2019:  22:06:45

Only allowed one math student into his college philosophy club

OM45GE - Posted - 05/24/2019:  03:13:27

Getting philosophical about being a chimp on skates

Omeboy - Posted - 05/24/2019:  07:54:08

I don't want to say he's ugly, but thanks to him, web-based dating services now have a new category: "People Who Think You're Creepy."

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/24/2019:  08:51:26

Goes to “Creeps Anonymous” meetings

OM45GE - Posted - 05/24/2019:  13:33:16

Finds many humans creepy

Omeboy - Posted - 05/24/2019:  14:08:47

Recently had an encounter with a foul smelling creature that was over 10 feet tall, covered in thick matted fur and must have weighed around 1500 pounds-----it was just his mother-in-law.

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/24/2019:  14:56:19

Spells respect with two p's and backwards r.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/24/2019:  15:04:19

Once had a fainting spell over the Grand Canyon - was saved by a Good Samaritan Canada goose

Omeboy - Posted - 05/24/2019:  15:07:58

Has a t-shirt that says:
"When the going gets tough---------I go bananas."

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/25/2019:  17:36:03

Is a stand out member of the Team Celery.

Omeboy - Posted - 05/25/2019:  18:10:28

His SCI-FI script, "The Ducktrix," about a parallel cyber-universe ran by highly intelligent water fowl, was deemed "terrifyingly stupid" by every producer in Hollywood.

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/26/2019:  08:55:49

Has Disco Duck tattoo on his chest.