OM45GE - Posted - 06/18/2015:  15:55:04

I'm an armature brain surgeon. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/18/2015:  16:26:33

That explains everything

OM45GE - Posted - 06/19/2015:  03:43:03

I have a parsnip that thinks it's a carrot. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/19/2015:  05:00:45

I bought a guitar that had extra strings in the case.

J e f f - Posted - 06/19/2015:  17:09:05

I'm getting a haircut tomorrow. This time sector 5B gets a trim.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/19/2015:  18:28:59

"I'm keeping my eye on you" said Patchy the pirate. 

TheLastWord - Posted - 06/20/2015:  03:43:02

A river a thousand paces wide would die for a grapefruit!

OM45GE - Posted - 06/20/2015:  03:46:53

Waiter, there is soup all over my fly!

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/20/2015:  07:15:29

They gave me the hairy eyeball

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/20/2015:  09:43:18

Pegleg Jack's real name is Chuck Van Dyke.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/20/2015:  13:31:02

Another possum who couldn't cross the road. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/20/2015:  13:34:13

They told Mr. Bailey to hit the road ,jack,, so he opened the trunk

TheLastWord - Posted - 06/20/2015:  14:08:37

Camouflage paint is interdependent.

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/20/2015:  15:31:59

Well,,what he did was,he broke the feathers off of an arrow,stuck it down
a 30/06 rifle barrel,and pulled the trigger. OH yes,,he's in hospital.........

OM45GE - Posted - 06/20/2015:  16:07:21

I'm sorry, but we're not going to be able to fix that for you. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/20/2015:  20:09:21

I'm goin' as far as Fargo

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/21/2015:  04:15:54

The 1st class section of this plane does not
stop in the Bahamas.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/21/2015:  07:59:07

It has to stop some day. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/21/2015:  13:49:12

You birds need a closer

OM45GE - Posted - 06/21/2015:  18:20:26

This is not the last train to Clarksville. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/22/2015:  08:49:43

White owls are a direct off spring of other white owls.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/23/2015:  03:51:19

Sorry, that does not taste anything like chicken. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/23/2015:  05:31:55

Found a package of Grandpa's Mail Pouch chewing tobacco up in
the attic. Must be at least 40 years old.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/23/2015:  13:30:34

Here, you hold this wire while I go find an outlet. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/23/2015:  14:52:59

Try not to hold your breath more than 12 minutes under water

OM45GE - Posted - 06/23/2015:  15:31:56

What is that ringing sound?

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/24/2015:  06:27:01

There was a time when uhh,uhh,,,well,never mind.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/24/2015:  08:10:24

I told the doctor I wanted a second opinion. He said, alright, you're ugly too!

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/24/2015:  11:45:29

There was this man who had whin-chisters and was loe begged.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/24/2015:  15:53:45

As an outsider, please tell us what you think about the human race. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/24/2015:  21:45:13

E-logs?...you know where to shove them

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/25/2015:  03:17:22

Bad Bad LeRoy Brown,,,,,never was worth a nickle!!

OM45GE - Posted - 06/25/2015:  16:11:56

The bleachers are on fire. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/25/2015:  16:51:57

Thirty two cows,eight horses,one man,one woman,fourteen children,and a tin cup

OM45GE - Posted - 06/25/2015:  18:55:54

Take my wife, please. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/25/2015:  19:16:26

George Jones was called "no show" because he'd not show up.
Now that is confusing,,,,,,,

FRAILER57 - Posted - 06/25/2015:  23:03:40

Millipedes don't have 1000 legs> i know because I counted them!

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/26/2015:  03:36:55

The first cup of coffee in the morning is always
the best. But Dad always gets that one.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/26/2015:  04:15:56

That's a happy looking dog. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/26/2015:  05:08:32

Creatures from The Black Lagoon "do" exist,,,they're called alligators.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/26/2015:  09:43:39

My dog used to take me for a walk

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/26/2015:  11:45:22

I had a dog when I was a small boy,,he died and Pop wouldn't let me have another.
I had a dog after I was married,he died,my wife wouldn't let me have another.BOO-HOO-HOO...

OM45GE - Posted - 06/26/2015:  14:42:16

Danged leaf blowers. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/26/2015:  18:29:40

All mules are lazy,low down,good for nothing,ugly,stubborn,,,,and they stink too

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/26/2015:  19:11:40

Lotsa folks walking around with no teeth

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/27/2015:  02:56:57

All that bulldozer ever does is push dirt,,,,all day long.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/27/2015:  04:36:44

Jodie Kidd has still not asked me to go out with her. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/27/2015:  07:23:58

I wish I had someone to talk to,,,in English!!

OM45GE - Posted - 06/27/2015:  13:10:18

I have decided that there is no point.