Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/14/2023:  17:14:36

No one will listen to Whitesnake with me, so here I go again on my own

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/14/2023:  20:34:01

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

DC5 - Posted - 07/15/2023:  05:27:16

I've been an orphan since I was 49, and still have not been adopted.

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/15/2023:  14:25:58

Some hotel towels are too thick to fit in your suitcase

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/15/2023:  19:35:53

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

DC5 - Posted - 07/16/2023:  05:48:12

Palindrome post 25252

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/16/2023:  19:19:38

Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

DC5 - Posted - 07/17/2023:  04:35:45

If pro-wrestling is not fake, how come it always ends exactly on time?

Bluedog2 - Posted - 07/17/2023:  09:23:48

The sooner you get behind, the more time you have to catch up.

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/17/2023:  20:21:02

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/17/2023:  20:24:36

I do all my ironing in the dryer

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/18/2023:  06:10:34

I didn’t mean to push all of your buttons, I was just looking for mute

DC5 - Posted - 07/18/2023:  08:04:32

Yesterday I remembered what I was talking about by the time I got to the end.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/18/2023:  10:08:35

The three hardest things to say are:
1) I was wrong
2) I need help
3) Worcestershire Sauce

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/18/2023:  21:04:47

Doing nothing is not as easy as it looks. You have to be careful because the idea of doing anything which could easily lead to doing something that could cut into your nothing and that would force me to have to drop everything.

DC5 - Posted - 07/19/2023:  05:56:31

Sloth is the best deadly sin, because sloth is laziness and laziness is doing nothing and if you're doing nothing you can't be committing the other sins.

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/19/2023:  06:46:48

Sins in hockey leads one to the sin bin

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/19/2023:  14:24:34

If at first you don’t Fricassee, fry, fry, a hen

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/19/2023:  19:32:09

Never trust an optometrist who won't look you in the eye.

DC5 - Posted - 07/20/2023:  05:26:54

Some days I wake up grumpy, but today I let her sleep.

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/20/2023:  06:32:04

Never fill out a Walmart survey

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/20/2023:  07:12:58

I sold my vacuum cleaner because all it was doing was gathering dust

DC5 - Posted - 07/20/2023:  07:15:47

Dust forms a protective coating on furniture, so I just leave it there.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/20/2023:  17:28:25

A best friend is someone who clears your search history immediately after you die

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/20/2023:  18:40:14

The last time I was here I left.

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/20/2023:  20:49:46

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

DC5 - Posted - 07/21/2023:  06:51:10

Palindrome post 25352

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/21/2023:  13:28:49

My wife tells me I have two major faults, I don’t listen, and something else

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/21/2023:  19:41:00

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

DC5 - Posted - 07/22/2023:  05:16:09

My mother said there would be days like this, but she didn't say there'd be so many.

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/22/2023:  05:40:03

Just give me 40 acres

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/22/2023:  19:02:00

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

DC5 - Posted - 07/23/2023:  04:18:32

My wife said I had to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/23/2023:  09:09:08

You’re in trouble when asked “Does anyone in your family have Alzheimer’s”? And you reply “Not that I know”.

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/23/2023:  17:08:48

.

 

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/23/2023:  20:44:56

All my people are pretty well off, I'm a little bit off.

DC5 - Posted - 07/24/2023:  05:45:27

The custodian jumped out of the closet and yelled, "Supplies!"

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/24/2023:  08:32:12

I was happy to land my new circus job as a human cannonball, until they fired me.

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 07/24/2023 08:35:10

MuskokaJohn - Posted - 07/24/2023:  12:21:32

Indeed…

 

DC5 - Posted - 07/24/2023:  13:39:22

I wanted to be an elevator operator when I was a kid, but the job had too many ups and downs.

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/24/2023:  22:50:41

Two feet does not ten toes make

DC5 - Posted - 07/25/2023:  06:15:10

At my last physical the doctor said this was good practice in case he ever had to do an autopsy.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/25/2023:  06:48:57

The only instant messaging I do is with my middle finger

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/25/2023:  20:18:07

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

DC5 - Posted - 07/26/2023:  09:12:55

I told my nephew he had grown another foot since I last saw him and he looked down and said, "No, there's only 2 like always">

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/26/2023:  16:13:17

Shoe liners are not related to ocean liners

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/26/2023:  19:48:55

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/27/2023:  04:53:00

No, standing as close to me as you possibly can can, will not make the line move faster

HarleyQ - Posted - 07/27/2023:  20:11:16

Ten plus ten is the same as eleven plus eleven......

I'll show you....

Ten plus ten equals....twenty

Eleven plus eleven equals.......
go ahead..say it...SAY IT !!!...