chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2015:  11:18:33

"The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see,

Was the night on the marge of Lake Labarge I cremated Sam McGee"

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/14/2015:  15:55:45

Now that there's the windiest windy that ever did blow passed my ears.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2015:  15:58:29

I told you not to stand so close behind me. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/15/2015:  05:59:32

Mary,Mary,quite contrary,
How does your garden grow,
When the flowers began to die.
Gosh Darn,how should I know

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2015:  08:52:46

That's why we can't have nice things. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/15/2015:  13:10:04

Well,consarn-it and balderdash!!

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2015:  15:47:10

O NO...don't ever confess- they'll rake you over the coals!

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/15/2015:  17:27:47

I'm having second thoughts about ski diving from 15,000 feet.

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/15/2015:  18:39:04

remember , you saw it here first

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2015:  03:08:02

There she is!

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/16/2015:  03:09:47

HOORAY!!,,,HOORAY!!,The cows finally came home.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2015:  03:26:09

Steak on the grill anyone?

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/16/2015:  05:12:36

I don't care if syrup goes up to $1.00 a sop...I'm not
gonna buy none anyway!!

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2015:  15:31:25

The source has been identified 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/16/2015:  18:50:35

These WalMart deliveries are an insult to my intelligence

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/17/2015:  02:05:05

Are you sure we should do that here?

OM45GE - Posted - 09/17/2015:  16:03:15

We are banjo players. Intelligence has nothing to do with it. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/17/2015:  19:49:14

Thought I'd get a new hood ornament....

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/18/2015:  03:22:49

Where's the trailer? You gotta have a trailer to haul the cargo.
And you're not making any $$$ when that thing is just sitting still.
Come on Chuck, MOVE IT..Get on down the road son,,CHOP,,CHOP

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/18/2015:  07:43:20

I hate it when I lose my trailer

OM45GE - Posted - 09/18/2015:  09:09:35

I used to do some broker hauls out of Curtis Transportation in Colorado. A driver heading to NYC took the trailer of a driver heading to LA and the LA driver took the NYC load. They didn't find out until the driver got to LA. The east coast driver was in Pennsylvania by then. This was before mobile phones Qualcomm and the like. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/18/2015:  09:16:41

Hah! We had a driver hook up to an empty in our yard ,getting the trl # wrong, crossing the border with the ppw (they didn't catch the trl # for some reason), got to the receiver in NJ, opened the doors to back in and noticed the empty "air load" .

OM45GE - Posted - 09/18/2015:  09:21:05

Oops

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/18/2015:  09:35:55

No hurry,,take all the time you want,,it's coming off of your
lifespan,,not mine.

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/18/2015:  09:37:28

Take my life,,I mean wife...please....

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/19/2015:  02:23:33

Read an ad in Chicago's Sunday Paper
"Help Wanted",Semi driver need bad
I walked in and said I'd like to see the foreman
And I told him all the experience that I had
He said Son,,you're just the man I needed
He handed me the keys and shook mt hand
Then pointing to the truck he said "I'll see ya
Just take that load of steel to Bermingham

Well I finally got inside and got it started
Put it into gear and it started backin up
Tried every way to get it going forward
But I've really never drove no big old truck
Well it wasn't easy backin through the traffic
And I bet I'm the first truck drivin man
That every left Chicago in a semi
And backed it all the way to Bermingham

Well the police pulled me over down in Nashville
He said,"What do you think you're goin and I just smiled
I said I just got tired of goin forward
So I thought I'd drive it backwards for a while
Then I backed into a truck stop and said "Fill it"
And check the oil it probably needs a can
The man said Tell me which way are you backin
I said I'm backin South to Bermingham

Well there must be a button on here somewhere
That I can push to turn this rig around
I can make it fine out in the country
But I have trouble backin through the towns
But if I keep it up I'm gonna make it
And I bet I'm the first truck drivin man
Thats ever left Chicago in a semi
And Backed it all the way to Bermingham.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/19/2015:  15:18:40

Leave me the most beautiful girl in the world and a half hour of my favorite song on the way to the gym with my friends and family members to be the first half of the best thing ever. 

J e f f - Posted - 09/19/2015:  17:31:12

Frankly my dear, I have no spam.

J e f f - Posted - 09/19/2015:  17:34:40

Show me the spam!

OM45GE - Posted - 09/19/2015:  18:28:33

Pumpkins are not the only thing that could make it so hard to get a new girlfriend, because they have been found to have a great way of saying sayonara. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/19/2015:  23:54:33

I'm surviving on rolaids, doan's pills, and preparation H

MWBailey - Posted - 09/20/2015:  01:43:52

I've got underwear older'n you, kid.

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/20/2015:  02:32:36

He changes them like he changes his socks,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,once a week.

TheLastWord - Posted - 09/20/2015:  05:29:59

As slick as a greased snake on a log

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2015:  09:32:57

Clam chowder and a large number of people who don't like it. 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/20/2015:  17:53:02

is that good enough

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/21/2015:  01:54:51

I ain't playing no second opinion to no city doctor...or any of his associates.

OM45GE - Posted - 09/21/2015:  03:34:46

Angels dancing with the same donkeys and llamas will have the best thing ever. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/21/2015:  04:13:28

Around on the other side of the mountain is where all the fun is...
That's where Long Tall Sally lives.

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/21/2015:  05:39:58

My get up and go has got up and went

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/21/2015:  19:45:48

can you still lick the jar

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/22/2015:  04:03:22

Carl Perkins had a fruit jar

OM45GE - Posted - 09/22/2015:  06:49:16

Licking the elephant is not the same thing as kissing your lawnmower. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/22/2015:  09:07:36

I've had enough of this malarkey...either s*^* or get off the pot

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/22/2015:  11:36:17

OH,MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS SAKES ALIVE,,,,ORVILLE

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/22/2015:  13:31:03

Stopped in for some grilled roadkill here.....

OM45GE - Posted - 09/22/2015:  18:23:11

Thirsty Thursday night at the same time every week. 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/22/2015:  20:10:22

you couldn't wait could you

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/23/2015:  03:41:17

Nobody ever got scarlet fever on a blue monday