TheLastWord - Posted - 10/03/2015:  14:35:05

As smooth as a blind pig with a broken arm.

Rossanne - Posted - 10/03/2015:  15:39:35

see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil...impossible, you ever see a camel walk in an' out  the eye of a needle.

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/03/2015:  17:08:15

what do the keys on a Chinese type writer look like?

Rossanne - Posted - 10/03/2015:  17:27:08

some people want to know what a Chinese typewriter looks like, so they can then buy one, and happily so for them, they can then work on  their Chinese typewriter to type the many cuss word letters to their friends.

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/03/2015:  17:44:06

Blunt could be pointless

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/03/2015:  20:04:07

Once upon a time ago,I had a horse.
Then I didn't have him no more.

OM45GE - Posted - 10/04/2015:  04:37:30

Just because your head is made of stone, don't take it for granite. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/04/2015:  08:19:28

I just thought of something but I can't write it on here,,,,,OH Well,,,
Maybe I'll think of something else later??

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/04/2015:  22:26:02

Don't smoke those dried banana peels

OM45GE - Posted - 10/05/2015:  03:43:57

You're going to wish you had said "yes". 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/05/2015:  05:31:22

rubber neck rubber neck five cents a stretch

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/05/2015:  11:53:06

Someday this madness has to end

OM45GE - Posted - 10/05/2015:  16:18:59

You call it madness, I say, welcome to my world. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/05/2015:  17:39:28

Eddie Arnold was not a Ziffel on his mother's side

Rossanne - Posted - 10/05/2015:  17:41:35

Is it okay to divulge the telepathic message received from,,,and the private contents?

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/06/2015:  01:21:29

She said,,"I wouldn't do that if I were You"..But I ain't you so I'll do it!

OM45GE - Posted - 10/06/2015:  03:26:07

Either way, we're screwed. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/06/2015:  04:45:25

Let Mother Nature have her way,,,she knows what she's doing

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/06/2015:  08:04:16

Not sure about Father Nature though....

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/06/2015:  13:12:33

I did not like it when they changed the shape of the keyhole on the
basketball court.

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2015:  03:30:25

Touchdown!

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/07/2015:  05:35:16

When the team's in the shower after the game,,,never ever
bend over to pick up the fallen bar of soap!!!

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2015:  07:58:56

Pasadena Ned - ASAP!

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/07/2015:  09:55:34

The sights on my sling-shot have been zeroed in at 8 feet.

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/07/2015:  10:41:27

"You should always go to other people's funerals, or they won't come to yours." YB

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2015:  17:54:22

Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK....

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/08/2015:  03:24:41

I saw it when you snatched my change from the table.You my keep
the two ones,but please return the $20 dollar bill,,,,,,,,,,,

OM45GE - Posted - 10/08/2015:  03:36:31

Cashing in your 401k to buy lottery tickets isn't a good idea. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/08/2015:  06:03:15

I thought the stock market was for selling livestock

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/08/2015:  06:34:42

5 girls and 1 guy in a wet T-shirt contest is not a good idea........

OM45GE - Posted - 10/08/2015:  15:34:47

Call Rebecca 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/08/2015:  16:25:22

Sorry,,,we don't know any of those songs.Just listen to what
we sing or you my leave.

OM45GE - Posted - 10/08/2015:  16:46:39

It's for you. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/08/2015:  19:13:25

We were digging along just fine till Curtis quit......

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/08/2015:  21:57:37

That jumpsuit isn't meant for skydiving

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/09/2015:  02:59:40

Can you hold it a few minutes,,there's a rest area just 3 hours ahead

OM45GE - Posted - 10/09/2015:  04:11:50

The peanuts are complimentary. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/09/2015:  04:57:30

Next time I come here, I'll be leaving toute suite

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/09/2015:  05:30:01

Are all the roads in Can-an-ah-dah like that?

OM45GE - Posted - 10/09/2015:  06:24:52

Actually, my chewing gum tasted pretty good after a night on the bed post. At least I think it was mine. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/09/2015:  08:39:40

Never scrape off the stuff hanging from the underside of a chair seat in a diner.

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/09/2015 08:40:18

OM45GE - Posted - 10/09/2015:  10:58:24

With malicious intent, Buddy dumped his sock drawer on the floor. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/09/2015:  16:14:19

I told you before.A screwdriver won't work on a 16D nail.

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/09/2015:  16:38:08

My Hobart will weld up a storm ,akin to the power of Thor

OM45GE - Posted - 10/09/2015:  18:20:37

I was in the finals on Dancing With The Stars, then I woke up. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/10/2015:  02:03:16

This pencil only writes till the lead wears down.

OM45GE - Posted - 10/10/2015:  04:25:04

When Irish eyes are smiling, there's often booze involved. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/10/2015:  06:28:17

Nothing to it!! Just put the pedal to the metal,,pop the clutch,and hang on!!

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/10/2015:  07:57:30

,,,,,,(PS) ,,put the cigarette out first!