TheLastWord - Posted - 04/07/2018:  04:59:08

Don't eat before mowing the roof.

DC5 - Posted - 04/07/2018:  05:57:30

Another day, another 78 cents after taxes.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/07/2018:  07:23:46

Make your point quickly

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2018:  07:34:16

When Irish eyes are smiling, it's time to buy more whisky

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/08/2018:  03:14:03

Those German gals know stuff

DC5 - Posted - 04/08/2018:  04:36:50

You don't sweat much, for a fat chick.

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/08/2018:  04:59:00

So three cats and a moose walked into a bar...

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2018:  16:28:15

Give the gift that keeps on giving - venereal disease

Waldguy - Posted - 04/08/2018:  17:22:12

Monkeys at a typewriter comes to mind.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2018:  05:59:48

They cut down the wrong tree

DC5 - Posted - 04/09/2018:  15:08:00

Salad just doesn't taste right without steak.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2018:  03:34:22

You took it to the limit and pushed it over the edge

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/10/2018:  03:50:46

using this keyboard hurts my toes

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2018:  06:28:07

Another go-round won’t do me any harm

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2018:  06:58:44

If you're early you're on time. If you're on time, you're late.

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/10/2018:  08:34:54

Well,,if you insist then I'll take the two million dollars tax free

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2018:  13:16:35

The squirrel is eating my nuts

DC5 - Posted - 04/10/2018:  14:15:35

Second place is first among the losers.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2018:  14:26:51

I might give up the ship

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/11/2018:  03:22:28

jump in the pool,swim 200 laps,a piece of cake

maki66 - Posted - 04/11/2018:  06:16:25

We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/11/2018:  13:22:08

That was an excellent ending

DC5 - Posted - 04/11/2018:  13:30:28

I don't know what I did last night, but there's a school bus parked in my driveway.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/11/2018:  15:23:39

My shoelaces are depressed

DC5 - Posted - 04/11/2018:  17:06:02

So iron them.

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/11/2018:  17:38:23

The bark was dark and hairy as Tom tripped.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/12/2018:  04:27:20

My doctor said I shouldn’t drink anymore, but he didn’t say I should drink any less.

DC5 - Posted - 04/12/2018:  14:58:22

42

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/12/2018:  15:08:03

Jackie Robinson

“After their experience in Florida, the Robinsons were uncertain what kind of reception they would face in Montréal. Much to their relief, however, the Canadian city welcomed the new arrivals. Although Rachel Robinson feared they would have difficulty renting an apartment in the city, she was warmly greeted by her prospective landlady, who offered her the apartment at 8232 De Gaspé Avenue and invited her for tea. When it became clear that the couple were expecting their first child (Jack, Jr.), the neighbouring children carried Rachel’s groceries for her, while the women helped her make maternity clothes and gave her rationing cards, admonishing her to “eat more meat.” The experience in Montréal was “almost blissful,” Rachel later remarked.”

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/12/2018 15:11:17

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/12/2018:  20:43:42

Bob and Alice ate refried beans.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/13/2018:  03:44:50

Get away from me you creep!

maki66 - Posted - 04/13/2018:  06:42:06

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

OM45GE - Posted - 04/13/2018:  06:58:24

Only my hairdresser knows for sure

DC5 - Posted - 04/13/2018:  07:40:10

I've come to the conclusion that standardized tests suck.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/13/2018:  08:39:15

Friday the 13th falls on a Friday this month

OM45GE - Posted - 04/13/2018:  12:06:22

I tried to blow up a bus and burned my lips

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/13/2018:  15:59:18

Jelly belly rolled up hill to play.

DC5 - Posted - 04/13/2018:  17:00:34

I remember once that... I forgot.

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/14/2018:  02:50:20

That's just about the time she did that very same thing.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/14/2018:  08:44:11

Ok then,,let’s do the limbo rock

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/14/2018:  13:04:56

Stop hip hopping below the jug .

OM45GE - Posted - 04/14/2018:  18:25:56

This will definitely hurt you more than it will hurt me.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/14/2018:  20:46:59

My upper denture is getting a root canal tomorrow

DC5 - Posted - 04/15/2018:  09:46:21

In a restaurant in Alaska a man was eating Manhattan clam chowder, and a the same time in a restaurant in Manhattan a man was eating baked Alaska. Coincidence?

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/15/2018:  11:49:04

Chop, chop, chop....

DC5 - Posted - 04/16/2018:  03:53:47

2018, the winter that never ends

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2018:  08:41:37

Not fit for man nor beast

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/16/2018:  12:47:54

what's that buffalo doing on my roof?

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2018:  16:15:18

I'm doing pretty well for a crazy guy on a rainy Monday