mbanjo - Posted - 07/12/2013:  13:30:11

Why do people sing better in the shower?

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/12/2013:  14:33:42

sometimes the gadget gets caught in the whatchumacallit and
the thingamajig won't turn the gizzmo...,,,,

mbanjo - Posted - 07/12/2013:  15:53:43

Dummies guide to sculpting an elephant:......... first, get a huge block of marble; then you chisel away everything that doesn't look like an elephant.

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/13/2013:  07:16:55

Buy one,get one free??? HA,HA,HA,HA,

mbanjo - Posted - 07/13/2013:  14:18:17

Thank you, your honor........I need a break from work

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/14/2013:  04:37:28

Well ya see,it was like this. Twichit hit Bobby Bare in
the head with a blue gill............And that's all I remember.

mbanjo - Posted - 07/14/2013:  13:53:11

Wake up!...wake up!....its time to take your sleeping pill

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/15/2013:  12:47:40

It's your turn to answer the phone and I'm not here!

mbanjo - Posted - 07/15/2013:  14:21:02

I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/15/2013:  15:34:21

never under-estimate the power of suggestion

mbanjo - Posted - 07/15/2013:  16:57:50

Its a little early, but what do you want from santa this year

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/16/2013:  02:39:24

all this talk about global warming??,,,,
Why should we buy heating fuel?

mbanjo - Posted - 07/16/2013:  13:33:08

Why are bananas always bent?

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/16/2013:  14:44:09

Can I get a refund if I don't like my meal?

mbanjo - Posted - 07/16/2013:  17:39:55

Some people are different than other people...

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/17/2013:  04:59:49

Well yes,,,I drove a truck all day long once.

mbanjo - Posted - 07/17/2013:  13:45:18

Wake me up when we get there.....

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/18/2013:  04:20:12

If you're to old to cut the mustard,,,,,get a sharper knife

mbanjo - Posted - 07/18/2013:  15:25:50

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/19/2013:  04:02:02

If it hurts when you do that,,,,,,,,,,Don't Do That!!!

TonyS - Posted - 07/19/2013:  13:45:10

If you can't cut the mustard, try catsup, but not mayo.  Why, I don't know much about HDL & LDL - Hey!  A song idea!

"Don't know much about LDL, 

Don't know much about arteries..

But I do know....

MWBailey - Posted - 07/19/2013:  14:09:07

Roses are red,
nettles are itchy,
don't feed mentos to wild squirrels,
it makles 'em all, uh, uncooperative...

mbanjo - Posted - 07/19/2013:  14:56:12

The future isn't as good as it used to be

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/19/2013:  15:41:35

Then there was the time that Jerry Warren's sister
decided she wouldn't wear under panties anymore.
HA,,HA,,,When her mama found out about that,there
was war all over them hills

mbanjo - Posted - 07/19/2013:  16:43:46

The rain tumbles down in july.......

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/21/2013:  04:14:51

I 1995 Dolly Parton was disqualified from a wet T-shirt contest

mbanjo - Posted - 07/21/2013:  14:28:55

The bar opens in 15 minutes

TheLastWord - Posted - 07/22/2013:  10:26:11

You are the most stunning table. Goodbye!

mbanjo - Posted - 07/22/2013:  14:02:56

There you are!.....do you feel better now?

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/22/2013:  15:47:48

And now you have the rest of the story

mbanjo - Posted - 07/22/2013:  16:36:03

Don’t do it behind the garden gate. Love is blind but the neighbors ain’t!

FRAILER57 - Posted - 07/22/2013:  21:14:19

IIIIHHH- hates GOOSE POOP!!!!!!!!!!!

mbanjo - Posted - 07/22/2013:  21:50:19

Who's afraid of virginia wollfe?

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/23/2013:  01:41:33

It was then that I first saw her,,,,,,,,,,

mbanjo - Posted - 07/23/2013:  12:23:21

Times are getting hard folks....

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/23/2013:  15:13:20

Well,,did you do it?

mbanjo - Posted - 07/23/2013:  15:31:55

Must be nearly time for a drink or two?

TonyS - Posted - 07/23/2013:  20:03:15

Vodka - it's not just for breakfast anymore!

TonyS - Posted - 07/23/2013:  23:59:23

...oh, and I forgot one thing... sorry I forgot...

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/24/2013:  03:06:04

This is the last straw,,,who wants it?

a g cole - Posted - 07/24/2013:  10:39:39

In the ballroom, I asked this beautiful young woman, "may I have this dance?"  She answered, "sure, I don't want it."

mbanjo - Posted - 07/24/2013:  13:31:37

Take my wife for instance......please!....nobody else will

FRAILER57 - Posted - 07/24/2013:  17:29:01

Time for my four Fig Newtons and a shot of Maker's Mark. MMMMMMMM mmmmmmmmm!!!

Edited by - FRAILER57 on 07/24/2013 17:29:50

mbanjo - Posted - 07/24/2013:  22:05:58

Has anyone ever tried this before?

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/25/2013:  12:54:32

The flagpole had seven dents in it from those two rabbits

mbanjo - Posted - 07/25/2013:  13:34:31

I warned you we should've got a bigger boat........

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/25/2013:  15:33:02

Well,you just pull it like this and then turn it loose,,,,

FRAILER57 - Posted - 07/25/2013:  21:56:57

Why is it everything i go to get is either underneath, at the very bottom, in the very back,or on top,out of reach? I think I need to divest meslelf of some cr## so's I can get to my stuff more easily!

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/26/2013:  08:29:43

$7000 a month?,,,,sure thing Dude,,,sign right here.