RandyZ - Posted - 01/30/2014:  08:17:40

does anyone really want 'all the tea in China' ?

OM45GE - Posted - 01/30/2014:  08:53:11

Would the owner of the red Ferrari please come to the mall security desk immediately.

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/30/2014:  14:01:35

I'm so sorry,,,Mikey just ate it!!

OM45GE - Posted - 01/30/2014:  14:42:17

Time's up.

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/30/2014:  16:02:01

That's the last time I'm reading my junk mail.

OM45GE - Posted - 01/30/2014:  17:14:32

Take that you uncouth, slovenly, putrescent pile of jackal retching, oh, sorry Dad. I didn't know it was you.

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/30/2014:  17:45:53

Papa's got a brand new bag

jistgreg - Posted - 01/30/2014:  21:15:47

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. 

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2014:  02:29:22

I wonder how I'm going to fix that.

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/31/2014:  02:44:03

Just one day ago,,I was a younger person

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2014:  02:55:39

Yesterday, today was tomorrow.

TheLastWord - Posted - 01/31/2014:  04:01:13

Sometimes, the ninja quickly destroyed a secret pile of biscuits.

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2014:  04:35:13

Kevin found his birth certificate and learned he was not who he thought.

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/31/2014:  07:44:15

I thought I was an imposter

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2014:  09:13:54

I'm schizophrenic - and so am I. 

jistgreg - Posted - 01/31/2014:  11:15:47

A boiled  egg is hard to beat. 

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2014:  11:31:11

I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/31/2014:  13:45:08

My Uncle used to love me but she died

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2014:  14:14:38

That leaves seven I'll have to deal with.

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/31/2014:  14:55:51

OK! OK! I'll take care of it!

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2014:  14:59:17

Yes dear - whatever you say dear...

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/31/2014:  16:05:06

two lovely women were banging on my hotel door at 2 am ,shouting "Open the door!" - after  10 minutes of that I got up and let them out....

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2014:  16:34:42

I just found out that "Stay away from me you creep" isn't flirting talk.

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/31/2014:  19:14:59

She said she thinks she knows you

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2014:  19:36:22

Ok I'll have one more. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/01/2014:  02:46:59

It's a sad thing when a grasshopper can
date an alligator

OM45GE - Posted - 02/01/2014:  03:43:37

Oh the humanity!

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/01/2014:  05:38:30

Our country band was playing the VFW one night when this woman
made a request for me..She said please Don't sing,,,,,,

OM45GE - Posted - 02/01/2014:  05:54:51

Just because your dog has ticks it doesn't make him a watch dog. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/01/2014:  07:20:44

Some folks tune their fiddles by singing "My dog has fleas"

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/01/2014:  08:29:17

Two fleas were on their way home when one says to the other, "wanna walk or shall we take a dog?"

OM45GE - Posted - 02/01/2014:  09:32:05

Broccoli florets and a teaspoon of Tabasco

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/02/2014:  12:56:45

Yes,that's one right over there

OM45GE - Posted - 02/02/2014:  13:32:45

I told you dryer rides weren't a good idea. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/02/2014:  15:49:00

That old Studebaker parked next door is lowering our property values around here

OM45GE - Posted - 02/02/2014:  17:19:17

I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks the halftime show is stupid. 

RandyZ - Posted - 02/02/2014:  17:25:17

Yeah it is......at least we dont have to see brady cry this year.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/02/2014:  17:28:44

Shhhh....he's watching the game with me. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/02/2014:  17:36:27

I had the sound off for the musical performance. Call me old and in the way, but those kids up on stage looked ridiculous. Gimme the old negative stage presence ( as John Duffy would say ,lol ) where the music counted , not the crazy over-the-top theatrics . And if you want to know what I really think......

OM45GE - Posted - 02/02/2014:  17:42:18

Ditto. The theatrics have taken over. On the other hand, they didn't ask me.  

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/03/2014:  03:47:42

A monkey screamed at a book for 14 days.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/03/2014:  03:50:27

My goldfish grew legs. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/03/2014:  06:30:09

If frogs travel faster than the speed of light,they revert back to pollywogs.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/03/2014:  06:57:05

I put instant coffee in the microwave and went back in time to 1965.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/03/2014:  07:15:04

Aaahhh yes, 1965 , me, June, and the moon

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/03/2014:  07:29:17

All human race on planet Earth are (brother and sister).
Why don't we act like it?

OM45GE - Posted - 02/03/2014:  08:05:21

Oh look, it's snowing.

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/03/2014:  09:01:26

In 1959 it snowed in Clearwater,Florida. They let all the school
kids go outside and stand in it.Lasted just a few minuits .

OM45GE - Posted - 02/03/2014:  09:34:12

 It's long since lost its fascination around here.