banjoscotty - Posted - 11/09/2015:  06:16:02

to swim real good.

Squals along the Yucon are

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/09/2015:  06:20:29

friends with squaws along the Yukon, having similar, yet differing, backgrounds.

Coffee grounds up north

OM45GE - Posted - 11/09/2015:  18:18:59

are pretty much the same as coffee grounds down south. 

Either way, you have to 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/10/2015:  03:07:15

brew them to get any benefit from them.

At this very moment,the evil forces

OM45GE - Posted - 11/10/2015:  03:41:10

have kidnapped Kermit the Frog and are holding him for ransom. 

They're demanding 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/10/2015:  04:36:43

that a princess come and kiss him in public to "bust" a myth..

I think the evil forces are ugly and mean and

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/10/2015:  08:31:55

are terrorizing Sesame Street to get revenge on all things kind and good.

But Grover has a

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/10/2015:  09:10:24

lifetime job there.

Eat 3 eggs over med.,6 slices of bacon,fried potatoes,with biscuit & gravy and you will

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/10/2015:  19:28:29

experience severe protestations from your heart muskels, by gar and shiver me timbers.

Kick start your ticker

OM45GE - Posted - 11/12/2015:  06:09:49

by eating a pound of espresso beans washed down with a 16 oz can of Red Bull. 

After they peel you off the ceiling 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/13/2015:  01:19:03

you can get cleaned up for supper.

You might want to call the Dr. before you

OM45GE - Posted - 11/13/2015:  04:55:59

try a stunt like that again.

Remember the time you

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/13/2015:  06:53:17

drove from Frisco to Pittsburgh without stopping?

Those west coast turnarounds

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/13/2015:  11:27:37

work on the east coast also.

I shot that rabbit at 50 feet away and

OM45GE - Posted - 11/13/2015:  17:09:38

was amazed when it stood up on it's hind legs and flipped me the bird.

I took aim and shot again

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/13/2015:  17:21:37

but I missed and knocked off the game warden's hat.

He'd been looking for

jistgreg - Posted - 11/13/2015:  18:52:53

poachers to cook his eggs, but Warden Gordon Borden was in many ways nobody's fool. 

When push came to shove, 

OM45GE - Posted - 11/13/2015:  19:48:16

I decided not to push it. 

It's not that I don't take chances it's just that

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/13/2015:  20:53:44

Warden Borden was born with a serious hare lip, which keeps him perpetually in a fowl mood.

Just a warning to ya,

jistgreg - Posted - 11/14/2015:  01:17:30

a staunch hawk during the drumbeat for war, he proved to be a chicken when it came to actually fighting it. 

So he fights people because 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/14/2015:  04:31:36

he doesn't have a beak to peck you with.

He has never won a fight nor has he

OM45GE - Posted - 11/14/2015:  11:31:26

walked away from a confrontation. 

He has, however 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/14/2015:  16:54:47

confronted his wife about the Marlboro cigarette butts in the bedroom ashtray.

"Do you smoke after sex?", he asked

Scaggs7 - Posted - 11/15/2015:  07:09:44

I don't know, I never looked

The next time you try that

OM45GE - Posted - 11/16/2015:  03:35:48

perhaps you should set up a web cam. 

You could end up with

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/16/2015:  04:51:01

a small fortune in cash.

It's not a good moral booster because

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/16/2015:  09:31:08

your sterling reputation will be besmirched forever.

St. Peter will

Rossanne - Posted - 11/16/2015:  11:02:11

...cercumvent your navel.

The eight great ships sailed the stormy sea.

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/17/2015:  08:03:50

But the storm didn't let up ..

Murphy's law is one that

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/17/2015:  08:24:31

you'll get busted for if you don't take necessary precushions.

But ol' Murph was a

OM45GE - Posted - 11/17/2015:  09:10:12

pretty smart fellow. 

Many of his laws were

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/17/2015:  11:41:05

accepted by his wife.

She made a few laws herself causing Murphy

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/17/2015:  12:35:01

to become a lawbreaker, and spending time in the doghouse.

Mrs. Murphy welcomed

OM45GE - Posted - 11/17/2015:  15:07:44

most of the neighborhood men into her embrace when Murphy was away. 

It was the subject of one of his laws 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/18/2015:  02:01:37

that said;; "If anything can happen,,it will"

But the men kept coming till one day when

OM45GE - Posted - 11/18/2015:  03:26:40

Murphy came home early and laid down the law. 

He said

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/18/2015:  07:02:21

Mrs.Murf,,you're a slut
pack your junk and go,,
I have made a new law
You don't live here no moe.

So now Murphy is all alone and doesn't

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/18/2015:  07:49:50

make laws anymore, but instead has joined the dead poets society.

There he met a stiff-necked damsel

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/18/2015:  10:39:10

whose name was Pretty Polly.

Ralph Stanley had a coniption fit when

OM45GE - Posted - 11/19/2015:  09:44:06

his real name was Stanley Ralph and someone had missed it up on the birth certificate. 

He was considering

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/19/2015:  10:56:09

recalling all his albums and using a sharpie to correct the blunder.

Ralph had a blunderbuss hanging in his bus

OM45GE - Posted - 11/19/2015:  12:33:42

beside a broken window, next to a photo of Dolly Parton and held in place by a hernia strap. 

He called the old heap his trusty, rusty bus with a truss buttressed blunderbuss and a gusty, busty blonde, but he was the only one that did because,

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/19/2015:  15:25:00

he was the only one that could.

He drove that bus on down to Texas and then he

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/19/2015:  23:07:36

parked at Willie's ranch, but the herbal fumes made all the Clinch Mountain Boys giddy.

Willie showed Ralph his canni-bus

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/20/2015:  03:42:35

but Ralph said;; "Don't get kinky with me you red headed stranger"!!

Willie told Ralph to "Get On The Road Again" and go back to

OM45GE - Posted - 11/20/2015:  05:41:17

whatever rock he had crawled out from under.

Ralph thought that was a little harsh and responded,

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/20/2015:  08:45:14

saying,"Willie ,you're not only red, but you are also a rank stranger to me."

With that, Ralph slammed it into reverse

MWBailey - Posted - 11/20/2015:  09:06:23

And backed into the puddle that was forming where the septic tank was; that made him and his truck pretty rank as well.

Sometimes you just can't

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/20/2015:  09:19:49

outrank a rank stranger, nor read a redhead's real motives.

It's funny how time slips away