sandyhookflash - Posted - 09/27/2016:  17:45:39

but I haven't had them on since the time that Elvis impersonator thought he could waltz in here to my town and claim my dancing trophy.

My blue suede shoes

OM45GE - Posted - 09/27/2016:  18:00:10

did some serious butt kicking. 

Before long

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/27/2016:  18:40:37

some drunk stepped on them on the dance floor at Grim Jim's Bar & Grill.

I'd rather he stepped on my face and slandered

OM45GE - Posted - 09/28/2016:  02:43:27

my banjo playing. 

My only recourse was to

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/28/2016:  03:36:56

rise to the occasion and fight!!

But when I tried to rise,someone shouted

OM45GE - Posted - 09/28/2016:  03:42:25

don't let him, he might start playing the banjo again!

I don't know why 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/28/2016:  03:56:57

I keep perpetuating the degradation of banjo playing- it must be a case of self-loathing and old buried guilts.

My vocabulary is improving

OM45GE - Posted - 09/28/2016:  04:42:52

 to the point where I'm able to utter several polysyllabic words coherently and correctly in everyday conversation.

My probation officer doesn't find it amusing, he says I

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/28/2016:  12:08:52

'm after his job.

He's dead wrong

OM45GE - Posted - 09/28/2016:  12:40:50

but when I told him that he said he didn't find my little joke funny at all.

I said I wasn't joking, but that just

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/28/2016:  19:04:22

got him nervous and his report has kept me in cell block 5 for another 5 years.

Some folks have no sense of

OM45GE - Posted - 09/28/2016:  19:07:51

fairness when it comes to letting a convicted felon get on with his life. 

It's enough to 

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/29/2016:  04:09:30

make one say "darn it".

This 38spcl wheel gun is

OM45GE - Posted - 09/29/2016:  06:40:59

pretty much useless as an elephant gun. 

It just annoys them and

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/29/2016:  19:19:04

makes them forget about their fear of mice.

Cleaning out the elephant cage

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/30/2016:  01:32:12

is a job you DON'T want to get involved with!!

Marlin Perkins always said

OM45GE - Posted - 09/30/2016:  02:42:56

"When I'm faced with a dirty job I always send Jim Fowler to do it."

Jim's good nature 

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/30/2016:  04:02:12

and speedy tactics always get the job done.

Before he starts cleaning he usually

OM45GE - Posted - 09/30/2016:  05:54:33

makes sure the cameras are running.

I think he wants to be

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/30/2016:  10:05:38

in the Mr. universe contest, but Marlin will fire him if he does.

Jim has a way

OM45GE - Posted - 09/30/2016:  10:09:50

of being subservient to Marlin but still seeming superior.

Perhaps it's because he

Edited by - OM45GE on 09/30/2016 10:10:06

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/01/2016:  02:14:24

is superior.

The world is really flat but nobody wants

OM45GE - Posted - 10/01/2016:  04:06:17

to test the theory by venturing too close to the edge. 

I think they 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/01/2016:  15:39:25

heard about people venturing to the four corners of the earth.

I'm not sure what bus to take

OM45GE - Posted - 10/01/2016:  16:31:06

as I embark on the next phase of my life. 

Should  I head

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/02/2016:  01:46:05

on down to Dumas Walkers?

Dumas is a great guy but he

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/02/2016:  03:23:53

likes headhunting when he pitches in "friendly" pickup games against the Steeldrivers.

He also sharpens his spikes

OM45GE - Posted - 10/02/2016:  10:26:04

and slides feet high. 

Opposing fielders 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/02/2016:  10:59:48

try giving Dumas an uppercut to the jaw, but he knows when to duck.

Kentucky is famous for

OM45GE - Posted - 10/02/2016:  17:47:20

something but I don't remember what it is. 

It may have had

Rossanne - Posted - 10/02/2016:  21:57:57

..cold Turkey for dinner.

The restaurant people were very particular because the waiter wore.. 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2016:  02:48:46

a supercilious scowl whenever a customer sat down. 

He seemed to think 

eljimb0 - Posted - 10/03/2016:  05:22:16

that his dentist was competent.

He pulled the toothbrush out of...

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2016:  05:54:07

his toilet kit only to realize it was a rectal thermometer.

His next thought was

sandyhookflash - Posted - 10/03/2016:  11:44:47

"No wonder my mouth tastes so bad."

When scowling waiter passed by

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2016:  13:30:08

without stopping for the fifth time in an hour, the customer had reach the breaking point.

He stood up and shouted,

Rossanne - Posted - 10/03/2016:  14:12:58

Where's the movie as was promised?.."We ain't got no Popcorn either!!..

Just then the door opened,,wider..an' wider...

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/03/2016:  15:26:25

and Wimpy the chef came out brandishing a meat cleaver.

Behind him was Ward Cleaver

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2016:  18:15:17

looking for the Beaver. 

June was right behind him

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/04/2016:  01:43:03

saying,"Look Ward,,here's the Beaver"

Ward grabbed the Beaver and

OM45GE - Posted - 10/04/2016:  02:23:45

and June gave a surprised gasp. 

Wally didn't know 

eljimb0 - Posted - 10/04/2016:  02:49:40

that he was visiting the Rabbi in 45 minutes.

He grabbed the first..

OM45GE - Posted - 10/04/2016:  03:09:09

yarmulke he could find, which unfortunately was on the head of a visiting Talmudic scholar. 

The scholar wasn't particularly pleased 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/04/2016:  04:22:53

at being used like this.

But Wally didn't really

OM45GE - Posted - 10/04/2016:  10:12:00

care what the scholar thought as he was a callous and insensitive lout of a boy. 

June used to wonder

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/04/2016:  11:50:05

if Wally was channeling Eddie Haskell.

Oily characters like Eddie

OM45GE - Posted - 10/04/2016:  13:20:47

are common foils on many shows.

Take for example, Barney Fife, who

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/05/2016:  03:09:02

had not been to any kind of law enforcement school.

None the less he was a

OM45GE - Posted - 10/05/2016:  03:25:26

badge wearing, gun toting member of the law enforcement community. 

Andy was pretty patient, but even he