banjoscotty - Posted - 05/31/2017:  16:27:16

the exercise classes?

Can anyone explain any of

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/31/2017:  20:48:02

strange goings-on over at the accordion factory?

It seems the bellows foreman

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/01/2017:  01:57:56

had the hots for a gal on the assembly line.

Nothing happened about a relationship because

OM45GE - Posted - 06/01/2017:  03:29:47

she prefers squeezing squeeze boxes to boyfriends. 

When he tried to squeeze her, she squealed 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/01/2017:  04:42:04

in the key of F#m..

Then he squeezed once more and she

OM45GE - Posted - 06/01/2017:  06:52:14

squealed out a pretty respectable pentatonic blues solo.

We're trying to get her booked onto

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/01/2017:  08:28:01

"Annie Get Your Gun".

Nobody else comes close to

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/01/2017:  08:44:12

Annie and her gun except Andy Devine and his peashooter.

They've been an item

OM45GE - Posted - 06/01/2017:  09:55:55

for about as long as I can remember.

Of course, I have severe memory loss so that's not

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/01/2017:  10:12:26

a form of proof.

Hurry up,,we have to get to

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/01/2017:  10:27:30

the Aleutian Islands before the Yellowstone eruption!

I've felt rumblings

OM45GE - Posted - 06/01/2017:  10:31:20

that may be warning shocks, but could just be indigestion from the truck stop burrito I ate last night.

It's already causing

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/01/2017:  12:57:14

havoc at the Billings, Montana truckers' lounge, where pinball machines are constantly going into "TILT" mode.
One old grizzled driver

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/01/2017:  14:28:48

swore he would bring his shotgun and blow the machines to pieces.

But his wife,(riding shotgun),refuse to

OM45GE - Posted - 06/01/2017:  18:20:32

tell him where she hid the shotgun shells. 

It didn't matter anyway because the gun was

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/01/2017:  19:18:06

one they found in the fuel island, all beat up from being run over.

You couldn't hit a barn door

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/02/2017:  03:20:01

with it..or a house door.

Most people don't shoot at barn doors because

OM45GE - Posted - 06/02/2017:  04:08:23

there's little satisfaction in hitting a large inanimate object. 

Unless, of course, you

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/02/2017:  07:05:58

have a hate on for police cruisers.

Sgt. O'Hara keeps

OM45GE - Posted - 06/02/2017:  10:55:09

hoping he'll get to retirement without actually having to arrest someone.

That may happen, because 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/02/2017:  13:48:00

they demoted him to desk Sgt.

Now all he does is go for donuts and

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/02/2017:  14:49:51

listen to jaywalkers, streetwalkers, and whackos all night.

He turns off his hearing aid

OM45GE - Posted - 06/02/2017:  18:46:37

before he gets home so he doesn't have to listen to his wife blather on and on, and on....

He used to think it was cute, but ever since

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/03/2017:  06:07:49

his operation he sleeps alone in the garage..

No one knows exactly why she forces him to

OM45GE - Posted - 06/03/2017:  09:13:27

do that, but lots of the neighborhood men seem to be looking pretty well satisfied.

Some of them even

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/03/2017:  09:53:17

invited their friends to her house.

Now they look satisfied and they

OM45GE - Posted - 06/03/2017:  12:23:12

have something to talk about when they get together at neighborhood gatherings.

The kids are starting to wonder

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/03/2017:  18:37:25

who their real parents are.

Some left home in a huff

OM45GE - Posted - 06/03/2017:  20:19:06

while others stayed home and huffed there. 

I don't know why 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/04/2017:  04:40:16

kids have to think like that.

We were poor and all we ever thought about was

OM45GE - Posted - 06/04/2017:  04:58:19

ways to have fun. 

We would spend hours 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/04/2017:  07:53:07

watching the teenage girls practice their "hip swivel" walk.

And they would watch us boys as we

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/04/2017:  12:31:37

duck-tailed our hair and strutted past with rolled up jeans.

I miss the nifty fifties

Scaggs7 - Posted - 06/04/2017:  14:44:25

with a penny stuck in my penny loafers and taps on the heals

While riding the buggy to school

OM45GE - Posted - 06/05/2017:  02:36:41

and trying to look much cooler than we felt. 

Insecurity and acne were the bane

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/05/2017:  03:16:53

of all teenage boys.

But the girls didn't seem to

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/05/2017:  04:26:39

all that awkward, thinking they had a leg up on us masculine types.

I used to leg out

OM45GE - Posted - 06/05/2017:  04:38:25

with the cure cheer leader until she realized I wasn't really Frankie Avalon's cousin.

I only told her I was his cousin because

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/05/2017:  05:04:58

I couldn't think of anyone else at the time.

At first she believed me then she

OM45GE - Posted - 06/05/2017:  05:16:57

ran into Frankie at a concert and he invited her back stage.

After he told her he had never heard of me, they

Scaggs7 - Posted - 06/05/2017:  06:23:24

called the cops and tried th find the imposter

I worked on the farm till

OM45GE - Posted - 06/05/2017:  07:53:00

I got tired of all the bull s%*t.

That took about an hour and a half 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/05/2017:  08:07:07

on Tuesday morning.

I broke out on Wednesday evening and

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/05/2017:  08:35:09

took a job on the the railroad, testing out the benefits of boxcar sleeping.

Payday was non-existent

OM45GE - Posted - 06/05/2017:  11:40:24

which didn't surprise me as I wasn't really an employee.

In fact, trespasser is closer

Edited by - OM45GE on 06/05/2017 11:40:34

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/05/2017:  12:43:36

to the fact..

The Bulls got on my trail but I managed

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/05/2017:  14:12:17

to distract them with my vial of bull urine scent.

Railroad bulls never

Scaggs7 - Posted - 06/05/2017:  17:46:21

push or pull a train more than two miles

I've always wondered

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/06/2017:  02:27:02

if those bulls were full of "you know what".

Later on they found out that the bulls