KyBanjo - Posted - 04/19/2020:  16:13:38

as it would be a cut above this miserable career.



It really might be time for a career change if

Edited by - KyBanjo on 04/19/2020 16:14:36

OM45GE - Posted - 04/19/2020:  17:08:13

I can only figure out what I would like to do next.

There are so many

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/20/2020:  04:50:57

things I’m unqualified for.

Perhaps I can take over my shrink’s job

OM45GE - Posted - 04/20/2020:  05:28:32

despite my lack of credentials.

I can always forge

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/20/2020:  07:35:57

into the realm of mind over matter.

I was just thinking about

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/20/2020:  08:34:03

my lost turtle and the scars it left on my psyche.

He often played frisbee with me

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/20/2020:  08:55:02

though I did most of the work.

I shouldn't have taped him to the frisbee

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/20/2020:  18:47:42

but I grew so tired of running after him.

And believe me I used Industrial Strength Tape that

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/20/2020:  18:49:18

ate away at his shell.

I think that was the straw that broke the camel’s back

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/20/2020:  18:50:50

if it had not been a two humped model.

I really learned my lesson that time because

OM45GE - Posted - 04/21/2020:  03:03:39

it was either learn the lesson or continue making the same old dumb mistakes.

Now I make new dumb mistakes like

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/21/2020:  05:35:16

handing my wife the car keys.

She’s been watching NASCAR

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/21/2020:  08:26:43

and really has gotten defensive in her driving antics.

If this keep going like this I will need professional help for

OM45GE - Posted - 04/21/2020:  14:17:18

my backseat driver syndrome.

My fake brake technique is

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/21/2020:  14:19:24

about as useful as Fred Flintstone’s.

I put a governor on the accelerator pedal

OM45GE - Posted - 04/21/2020:  14:21:06

but he really wanted to be brought back to the statehouse to govern.

He felt he was better qualified to

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/21/2020:  16:11:41

help the general public than do donuts on people's lawns.

We got stuck in the mud when the owner

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/21/2020:  18:33:46

decided that we were on his property all of a sudden.

Frankly he was rather astonishing in the fact that he

OM45GE - Posted - 04/22/2020:  03:10:03

was a squatter and didn’t actually own the property in question.

I told him that he

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/22/2020:  04:34:45

can get in the back seat.

The governor quit his job and we decided to go cross country

OM45GE - Posted - 04/22/2020:  06:11:27

, or at that’s what I thought he said.

It turns out he meant

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/22/2020:  07:29:50

that he was colder than a brass monkey.

So I turned on the heater in my ‘61 VW Beetle

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/22/2020:  12:39:55

and proceeded to warm the little bug up.

I sure hope the company will buy us bigger

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/22/2020:  18:42:41

steerhorns for the front end, but its ok.

Turned on the radio

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/22/2020:  18:45:59

and I got nothing but German march music.

Turned on the wipers

OM45GE - Posted - 04/23/2020:  03:17:32

and the lights dimmed.

I'm hoping I don't need a new

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/23/2020:  07:07:41

alternator.

The governor floored it

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/23/2020:  07:22:24

and off we went.

He was going so fast that I couldn't

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/23/2020:  08:39:41

read the speed limit signs.

When Sgt. O’Hara pulled us over

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/23/2020:  10:04:23

he said, "boyee" do you know just how fast you're going.

I just set there and tried looking innocent to no avail when
all of a sudden he

OM45GE - Posted - 04/23/2020:  16:54:50

said, "Hey, I know you two guys!"



"Aren't you the ones who

Edited by - OM45GE on 04/23/2020 16:55:04

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/23/2020:  18:33:26

stuffed a raw potato into my tail pipe?



I want to thank you because

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/23/2020 18:33:48

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/23/2020:  18:35:59

I used that technique on a multi-million dollar drug bust.

"Let me escort you

OM45GE - Posted - 04/24/2020:  03:49:56

to wherever you're headed"

With that, he jumped in his cruiser and

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/24/2020:  07:09:03

didn't get very far because I had an extra potato.

Stopped to get gas

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/24/2020:  07:39:15

and the restroom had a broken toilet.
Not only that but

OM45GE - Posted - 04/24/2020:  15:15:50

someone had thrown a huge cigar stub in the urinal.



It was soggy and very difficult to light, but

Edited by - OM45GE on 04/24/2020 15:16:09

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/24/2020:  15:59:01

after a few hours out the window the squatter lit her up.

We picked up a hitchhiker

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/24/2020:  16:22:43

but he died in the back seat.

I think my driving gave him a heart attack

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2020:  06:16:11

judging from the wild screams coming from the backseat right up until he died.

I don't think I was

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/25/2020:  07:38:59

driving to reckless, maybe it was just a bad dream he had before he croaked.

After leaving the store we went on up the road only to find

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/25/2020:  07:52:01

the undertaker was too busy digging graves with his helper to relieve us of the body.

Unfortunately we then took a long drive on a short pier

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2020:  11:49:29

and the enormous splash startled me out of my reverie.

I realized that

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/25/2020:  16:02:14

I was dreaming when the Lady of the Lake appeared with Excalibur.

I awoke at the funeral home

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/25/2020:  19:27:52

and immediately got my self back together.

With a troubled mind and busted pinky fingers I proceeded to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/25/2020:  20:39:28

anchor just my ring finger and ripped into a lively version of “Lonesome Road Blues”.



O’Hara happened along

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/25/2020 20:40:08

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/26/2020:  06:53:53

and once again tried to show his authority.

This is exactly what got him busted down from First Lieutenant as he

OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2020:  11:15:32

kissed his career goals goodbye.

He also bid farewell to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2020:  11:32:57

his long-suffering wife who had a mind of her own.

As a matter of fact, she