OM45GE - Posted - 05/21/2018:  03:31:23

I knew that life as I knew it was over.

My friends thought

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/21/2018:  07:07:04

Captain Marvel would live forever.

But he conked out on a

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/21/2018:  07:30:57

bender with Sgt. Preston of the RCMP.



The poor Sarge burned his remains

“In 1955, the Quaker Oats company gave away land in the Klondike as part of the Klondike Big Inch Land Promotion which was tied in with the television show. Genuine deeds each to one square inch of a lot in Yukon Territory, issued by Klondike Big Inch Land Co. Inc., were inserted into Quaker's Puffed Wheat and Puffed Rice cereal boxes.”

Edited by - chuckv97 on 05/21/2018 07:34:11

OM45GE - Posted - 05/21/2018:  13:23:53

in the campfire and brewed a pot of coffee on the coals.

It was the best

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/22/2018:  02:43:35

thing he could do.

But now,everyone wants to blame

OM45GE - Posted - 05/22/2018:  03:27:01

him because the coffee was a little on the weak side.

In fact, it was so weak

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/22/2018:  06:41:12

everyone went back to sleep.

The best thing for a weak-kneed politician

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/22/2018:  14:41:33

is to use crutches.

And that's only to

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/23/2018:  01:41:07

help support his body.

Meanwhile,everything else is

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2018:  03:07:58

free to sag to the depths of disrepute.

They don’t care, because

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/23/2018:  04:10:32

most folks have axes to grind anyway.

Harry Truman said he’d rather play piano in a whorehouse than be a politician

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2018:  04:16:52

but when he was offered a job playing piano in a whorehouse, he declined.

He said he

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/23/2018:  04:26:49

didn’t want to embarrass Bess, what with all the wagging tongues in Washington.

So he decided to bomb

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/23/2018:  05:41:12

the neighborhood YWCA.

He said the "beavers" scattered like

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2018:  13:52:37

confetti in a stiff breeze.

He sort of liked that

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/23/2018:  14:59:02

visual, and decided to repeat it in spades over a Pacific Island.

However, beavers were scarce

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2018:  16:02:41

in Fiji so he had to use hermit crabs which sort of spoiled the effect.

He resolved not to

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/23/2018:  16:05:49

ever bomb or get bombed again.

He was a plain-spoken

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2018:  16:12:58

kind of guy, but would occasionally lapse into verbosity.

One time he called a spade a

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/23/2018:  22:36:24

tool for earthly excavation.

A five hour speech

OM45GE - Posted - 05/24/2018:  04:09:51

is cruel and unusual punishment.

Especially when the speaker is

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/26/2018:  07:31:57

droning on about how he spent his summer holidays, with accompanying slide show.

My favorite speech

OM45GE - Posted - 05/26/2018:  07:59:25

is "Dinner is served".

It's quick and to the point, but most importantly, it

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/29/2018:  02:48:18

offers something very material.

I'm never late when

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/29/2018:  03:38:06

the chow arrives.

Chinese food can be

OM45GE - Posted - 05/29/2018:  06:50:29

obtained from many restaurants in my area.

Some are absolutely awful, but others

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/30/2018:  03:33:08

aren't to bad.

I'm a countrified meat and potatoes

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/30/2018:  05:35:26

guy myself, with a spoonful of horseradish on the side.

If you’re eyes don’t water

OM45GE - Posted - 05/30/2018:  05:44:14

when my dog farts, then you need to see an Ears, Nose and Throat specialist.

They may be silent, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/30/2018:  05:46:04

a loud specialist grates on one’s nerves.

Some folks have their heads up their

OM45GE - Posted - 05/30/2018:  05:51:26

arses they need to loosen their necktie to see.

I don’t know how

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/30/2018:  15:44:31

to explain my lifestyle to my peers.

Just because I

OM45GE - Posted - 05/30/2018:  18:08:38

live in an underground fort in the middle of a highway cloverleaf shouldn’t be that difficult to understand.

However, they seem

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/30/2018:  22:12:50

somewhat conciliatory once I told them of my weapons stash.



No one enters my domain

Edited by - chuckv97 on 05/30/2018 22:13:22

OM45GE - Posted - 05/31/2018:  05:51:10

with realistic expectations.

Nothing can prepare them for

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/01/2018:  04:24:35

the sight awaiting them.

But enough of that macho crap and on with

OM45GE - Posted - 06/01/2018:  06:03:52

the flower show.

I'm exhibiting my prized

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/01/2018:  08:20:47

begonias and kuhonies at the agrishow this weekend.

It takes a lot of

OM45GE - Posted - 06/01/2018:  11:42:40

confidence to show your kuhonies in public.

Some people think I should

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/01/2018:  17:12:20

wrap them in tinfoil to keep them fresh for nightime shenanigans.

I figure the best birth control

OM45GE - Posted - 06/02/2018:  03:50:45

is total abstinence, but that’s not much fun.

I prefer

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/02/2018:  04:24:51

watching Capt.Kangaroo.

He does stuff that will

OM45GE - Posted - 06/02/2018:  04:39:38

make Mr. Green Jeans blush.

Just the other day, he

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/02/2018:  04:51:27

flew to Australia to mate with a koala bear.

Not everyone has that opportunity

OM45GE - Posted - 06/02/2018:  17:46:54

and few who do take advantage of it.

For those who do, untold pleasures await, starting with

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/04/2018:  09:38:35

eating of the eucholiptis trees.

But that's only the

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/04/2018:  09:57:10

start of a beautiful relationship with van Dieman’s Land.

Crocodile Dundee was a fake

OM45GE - Posted - 06/04/2018:  13:38:45

name.

He didn't want people to know

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/05/2018:  04:07:00

that he's really a Smith.

But he does own a large portion of the outback and part of