OM45GE - Posted - 07/21/2020:  09:58:34

eating leprechauns.

He washed them down with

jacot23 - Posted - 07/21/2020:  10:10:34

Gold Peak Sweet Tea and turned a flip.

It's really a shame that

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/21/2020:  10:21:30

Guinness stout.

Lucky was an Irish Setter

OM45GE - Posted - 07/21/2020:  18:06:53

who showed up about 11 minutes too late.

No matter, he was still able to

jacot23 - Posted - 07/22/2020:  20:00:15

eat a few scraps and fill his belly.

Really wish he’d

OM45GE - Posted - 07/23/2020:  03:39:42

the last of the egg salad.

Now his flatulence smells like

jacot23 - Posted - 07/23/2020:  04:33:40

Fish Tacos.



Which doesn't make sense because...

OM45GE - Posted - 07/23/2020:  08:13:29

he's not a dogfish.



On the other hand, he does

Edited by - OM45GE on 07/23/2020 08:13:41

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/23/2020:  08:17:05

juggle five kibbles without blinking an eye.

He’ll be in the traveling circus

OM45GE - Posted - 07/23/2020:  08:21:09

by the time you read this.

Of course, it's a flea circus, so

KyBanjo - Posted - 07/23/2020:  18:52:39

get your collars ready for the show.

Just when we thought we had seen the

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2020:  02:59:45

last of the true believers, researchers say that a majority of banjo players believe in the tooth fairy.

That may explain

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/24/2020:  08:23:23

why they are somewhat toothless.

I knew a banjoist who bought an Aladdin’s lamp

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2020:  09:22:22

and was surprised when a genie appeared but only offered him one wish.

He asked

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/24/2020:  09:23:28

if he could be the next Earl Scruggs.

She laughed in his face

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2020:  09:25:24

which was quite unpleasant because she had really bad breath.

He tried to

jacot23 - Posted - 07/24/2020:  12:12:24

walk away, but she was flying and way too fast for him.

So he...

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2020:  15:08:37

ducked into the nearest Starbucks and ordered a Vente chai latte.

He assumed

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/24/2020:  16:42:14

they wouldn’t charge him since he was carrying his banjo case and threate.....I mean offered to serenade the customers.

After the girl asked for the $4.95 three times

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2020:  03:53:23

he took off his money belt to see if he had enough cash to cover the purchase.

Unfortunately, his pants promptly fell down around his ankles and

jacot23 - Posted - 07/25/2020:  04:35:23

was arrested for indecent exposure.

So here we go again, bail money needed and...

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2020:  05:57:55

his banjo confiscated - this was familiar territory.

The only difference was

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/25/2020:  06:07:27

he was 3 days older than the last jail house visit.

It’s a shame

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2020:  11:37:18

that nobody from Hollywood thinks his life story would make a good movie.

I would certainly

jacot23 - Posted - 07/25/2020:  13:29:40

watch that for free on YouTube.

However,

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/25/2020:  16:07:42

paying customers in a theater would definitely demand their money back.

They might even storm the screen

OM45GE - Posted - 07/26/2020:  12:12:35

but would be disappointed when they get there.



You see, the screen is

Edited by - OM45GE on 07/26/2020 12:12:58

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/26/2020:  16:47:14

an inanimate object.

To further the point

OM45GE - Posted - 07/27/2020:  02:59:44

the staff turned on the house lights and started playing Muzak over the sound system.

Then they shut off the

jacot23 - Posted - 07/27/2020:  05:34:32

air conditioning so everyone would leave.

You've never seen so many...

OM45GE - Posted - 07/27/2020:  05:45:36

cranky people in one place.

Thankfully, they

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/27/2020:  06:51:26

tore into each other over meaningless squabbles, much to the amusement of theater staff.

Ten were carried out on stretchers

jacot23 - Posted - 07/27/2020:  07:02:00

and thankfully none in body bags.

However, the manager...

OM45GE - Posted - 07/27/2020:  10:07:10

was able to collect full price admission from each of them.



He said it was

Edited by - OM45GE on 07/27/2020 10:07:33

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/27/2020:  11:15:32

against his religion to give refunds.

He goes to the church of

OM45GE - Posted - 07/27/2020:  12:37:52

Our Lady Of Parsimony.

Their collection plates are

jacot23 - Posted - 07/28/2020:  05:06:22

really just large funnels.

The money goes straight...

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/28/2020:  05:50:11

to Grim Jim’s Bar & Grill to pay for his long-running tab.

It’s not easy

OM45GE - Posted - 07/28/2020:  06:05:45

being an itinerant banjo player.

First of all, you

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/28/2020:  06:12:28

have to know the meaning of itinerant.

Self-knowledge is key

OM45GE - Posted - 07/28/2020:  06:15:50

to enlightenment.

Unless you discover

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/28/2020:  17:25:28

you ain’t what you thought you was, there ain’t no tellin’ what’ll become of your sorry carcass.

Grandpa was a backwoods fillosofer

OM45GE - Posted - 07/29/2020:  03:08:15

who liked to debate the fundamental differences between Immanuel Kant and Friedrich Nietzsche.

He tended to agree with the latter, but

jacot23 - Posted - 07/30/2020:  06:04:21

he was never able to get anyone to agree with him.

Perhaps he should...

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/30/2020:  06:18:53

have told his opponents “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

He often butchered his hogs

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 07/30/2020:  10:37:49

with 'You are My Sunshine'.

They saw right through it

OM45GE - Posted - 07/30/2020:  12:32:23

but arguing with him was futile as he didn’t speak swinese.

An interpreter was

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/30/2020:  12:34:52

summoned from Fred Ziffel’s place, but Arnold was flummoxed by their porcine dialect.



When the Ag Rep Hank Kimball showed up

Edited by - chuckv97 on 07/30/2020 12:37:29

xmark - Posted - 07/30/2020:  18:48:05

he wasn't of much help to them either, and would forget what they told him halfway through the interpretation.



So, yet another potential source of help was summoned in the form of

Edited by - xmark on 07/30/2020 18:48:49