OM45GE - Posted - 11/27/2017:  03:29:08

which she dismissed as just another example of his sex addled ravings.

She used to find them amusing , but lately

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/27/2017:  04:05:40

she has been loosing her drive.

Hugh said,"that's ok,,just come on over here and

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/27/2017:  16:33:25

I’ll try prime your pump.

Hugh couldn’t get to first base

OM45GE - Posted - 11/27/2017:  18:26:58

if he was struck by a pitch.

He needs some help in the form of

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/28/2017:  03:27:14

viagra or some such medication.

That poor old feller just can't

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/28/2017:  08:37:48

ball the jack like he used to.

Old habits die hard

OM45GE - Posted - 11/28/2017:  15:07:18

which causes nuns much consternation.

Without their habits

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/28/2017:  19:22:14

they become habitual liars.

Hanky-Panky often takes place

OM45GE - Posted - 11/29/2017:  02:57:30

in the most unexpected places.



Some of my hanky-panky occurs 

Edited by - OM45GE on 11/29/2017 02:57:58

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/29/2017:  03:38:08

when the neighbor's husband goes bowling.

She has a this thing she does with

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/29/2017:  05:20:37

her frying pan when he comes home likkered up.

A skillet licker

OM45GE - Posted - 11/30/2017:  03:14:11

is usually reluctant to discuss his tastes.

He’s probably embarrassed about

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/01/2017:  07:31:42

his scorched tongue causing a speech impediment.

Never order scorched tongue at Jimmy’s Lunch

OM45GE - Posted - 12/01/2017:  18:42:05

or you're liable to get exactly what you asked for.

Keep your mouth shut when Jimmy's wife comes in with a hot curling iron or

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/02/2017:  09:27:36

a branding iron.

Jimmy once told me that his wife

OM45GE - Posted - 12/02/2017:  16:40:51

had once been a magician’s assistant.

She quit when he asked her to

Edited by - OM45GE on 12/02/2017 16:41:23

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/02/2017:  16:43:49

assist him in with a disappearing clothes act.

No amount of money

OM45GE - Posted - 12/02/2017:  17:00:38

would persuade her to reveal her tattoos in public.

Especially the one

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/03/2017:  05:00:16

on her tummy.

Then he offered her $2000 if she would

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/03/2017:  09:41:55

disappear out of his life forever.

Jimmy has since closed his beanery

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/03/2017:  15:49:45

and is living on skid row.

Everyone there knows him but they

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/04/2017:  03:26:42

don't give him any hand outs.

He was in very bad shape so

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/04/2017:  05:04:20

went to detox to dry out for a week.

There he met a devious dame

OM45GE - Posted - 12/04/2017:  12:33:27

who was pretending to be a guy.

Her transformation was so complete, she had a

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/05/2017:  03:08:34

cigar in her/his mouth.

And that ain't all,,he/she went down to the

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/05/2017:  05:47:43

country club to rub shoulders with some of the town’s old boy network.

One look at her/him and Judge Dimwhitt

OM45GE - Posted - 12/06/2017:  06:18:38

realized that he had a twin that he had been separated from at birth.

This complicated things

Edited by - OM45GE on 12/06/2017 06:19:15

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/07/2017:  04:23:43

and they disqualified the judge.

So after all of that they began to

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/07/2017:  05:12:23

beat the bushes for lost golf balls.

What they found, however,

OM45GE - Posted - 12/07/2017:  12:08:18

was the last thing they expected to find.

It was the long lost

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/07/2017:  14:03:15

golf clubs.

As it ended up they weren't

OM45GE - Posted - 12/07/2017:  14:39:21

really lost, they were stolen and the thieves had stashed them there.

So now they had

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/07/2017:  14:49:06

the evidence to send the deplorable undesirables to the crowbar motel.

Today I hung around the health food store looking to meet

OM45GE - Posted - 12/07/2017:  14:53:32

some healthy and giddy females.

I met a few but they

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/08/2017:  02:36:33

wanted me to buy their vitamins for them.

I told then to Hit The Road Jackie and

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/08/2017:  06:37:12

to go get their kicks on Route 66.

Women hitch hikers pack heaters

OM45GE - Posted - 12/08/2017:  07:36:09

just in case they get cold.

Personally, I don't think

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/08/2017:  12:41:52

the cold matters very much.

If you have flint and steel you can

OM45GE - Posted - 12/08/2017:  12:45:26

always threaten to hit someone with them if they don't give you a lighter.

Then you can start

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/08/2017:  13:10:00

a nice bonfire on the shoulder of the highway.

The Highway Patrol will stop

OM45GE - Posted - 12/08/2017:  13:17:31

to see if you have a fire permit but will leave you alone if you give them donuts and coffee.

Then you'll be free to

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/09/2017:  03:23:35

camp out right there.

Camping requires a certain amount of

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/09/2017:  03:42:03

chutzpah because the bears and the cougars often come around at 3 am.

Their internal clock

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/09/2017:  05:14:39

is very accurate.

But Timex has indiglo and that will

OM45GE - Posted - 12/09/2017:  06:48:38

amaze them when they see the soft blue glow emanating from your wrist.

Then they will kill and eat you, because

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/09/2017:  06:50:34

they don’t know you taste like oregano and cayenne.

Many a cougar has

OM45GE - Posted - 12/09/2017:  07:00:10

started to make a meal out of me only to run away howling after the first bite. 

I am still here to tell the story, but I have 

Edited by - OM45GE on 12/09/2017 07:01:06

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/11/2017:  12:53:20

a few holes in my still-functioning carcass.

Luckily I take supplements

OM45GE - Posted - 12/11/2017:  13:22:49

which keep my blood iron rich even when I’ve lost a lot of it.

They also help