chuckv97 - Posted - 10/09/2020:  08:06:41

drive 18-wheelers anymore.

I keep killing animals

xmark - Posted - 10/09/2020:  09:25:34

and getting lost along the way.

Instead, my new career will involve

KyBanjo - Posted - 10/09/2020:  11:42:16

opening a new chain of brothels.

I am going to name it

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/09/2020:  11:46:18

“Chain of Brothels & Bait Shoppe”.



I’ll hire Olive Oyl’s relatives

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/09/2020 11:46:34

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/09/2020:  16:29:34

, Barbie and friend Midge

KyBanjo - Posted - 10/09/2020:  17:40:07

With Midge being the short one.

The very first night

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/09/2020:  17:45:00

Barbies best boyfriend Ken

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/09/2020:  17:49:45

forgot he had more to say.

But Barbie yelled, “SHUT UP, MORON!”

KyBanjo - Posted - 10/09/2020:  17:58:10

didn't someone explain the rules to you.



Ken started looking around and

Edited by - KyBanjo on 10/09/2020 17:58:38

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/09/2020:  18:01:09

as he was answering a 10 year old child’s question and forgot to finish his BHO entry.



Nonetheless, the game continues

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 10/09/2020 18:01:56

OM45GE - Posted - 10/09/2020:  18:12:34

without Ken who was accidentally tossed into the trash.

He is in the back of

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/09/2020:  18:33:42

Buford Heiykenricker’s pickup.

Buford relishes dumpster diving

OM45GE - Posted - 10/10/2020:  02:53:10

and discarded dolls are one of the many treasures he treasures.

Just last week he found

xmark - Posted - 10/10/2020:  06:47:15

an old Frito Bandito pencil-top eraser and an in tact Muppet glass from McDonald's.

Some of his other treasures include

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/10/2020:  08:03:08

a Goofy Pez dispenser and a Raggedy Ann without a head

Buford can be found hawking his wares

OM45GE - Posted - 10/10/2020:  08:58:31

at the flea market at the old drive in theater.

He loves to

xmark - Posted - 10/10/2020:  16:13:15

gawk at the treasures on the tables of others as well.

The aroma of boiled peanuts and funnel cakes

KyBanjo - Posted - 10/10/2020:  16:20:35

are more than he can handle at times.

He often

Abigail-M - Posted - 10/10/2020:  16:22:25

produced a peculiar sensation to those all around..
including Max the darling bar cat who..

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/10/2020:  17:28:36

sleeps all day among the whisky bottles.

Mice ain’t his thing

KyBanjo - Posted - 10/10/2020:  17:54:09

anymore as he has learned to spoil the patrons.

Often he can be found purring and

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/11/2020:  07:24:33

day dreaming of nights he roamed the the town in a nocturnal fit seeking a stray p**** cat for company.



Those were the times before

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 10/11/2020 07:26:03

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/11/2020:  09:54:50

he was fixed for good.

He’d rather cozy up

KyBanjo - Posted - 10/11/2020:  14:33:21

and keep watch of all the pretty ladies at the bar.

Turns out there was this one

OM45GE - Posted - 10/11/2020:  18:34:55

little minx of a Manx whom he fund particularly attractive.

Unfortunately, the feeling wasn’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/11/2020:  18:41:30

reciprocated so the whole encounter turned into a clawfest.

That’s why his ear

OM45GE - Posted - 10/12/2020:  03:50:43

resembles a mishap at the butcher shop.

He won’t be able to wear earrings again and

Dgbectrum - Posted - 10/12/2020:  03:54:14

had a bizarre shape.

It resembled

OM45GE - Posted - 10/12/2020:  03:56:11

a painting I saw at the museum of modern art.

I spent a lot of time trying to

Dgbectrum - Posted - 10/12/2020:  03:56:43

that I owe you a beer.

Next year

Dgbectrum - Posted - 10/12/2020:  04:40:28

he'll try to write something that make sense.

Apologizing, he

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/12/2020:  08:22:00

tripped over his tongue.



The raspberry jam on his keyboard

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/12/2020 08:22:30

xmark - Posted - 10/12/2020:  09:49:14

has begun to attract flies.

But not to worry, because help is on the way in the form of

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/12/2020:  11:53:52

a piece of wheat bread and a knife.

Maybe he’ll add

OM45GE - Posted - 10/12/2020:  12:08:47

some chunky peanut butter.

That is one of

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/12/2020:  12:46:43

the foods I like best, but it has to be chunky.

My better half prefers

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/12/2020:  13:01:04

organic almond butter, saying she will outlive me.

Little does she know

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/12/2020:  16:52:03

it’s the actually the chunky peanut butter that keeps my mojo intact.

So I’ll play

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/12/2020:  16:54:05

dumb and let her win at Parcheesi.

Her cooking is non-existent

OM45GE - Posted - 10/12/2020:  18:05:22

unless you count reheating leftovers as cooking.

Even then, she

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/13/2020:  06:54:49

usually suggests going out to eat.

Our favorite places to

OM45GE - Posted - 10/13/2020:  07:04:38

go is a little known diner that we refer to as “The Ptomaine Palace.”

It’s quite good but

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/13/2020:  07:09:30

only open for breakfast.

In the evening

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/13/2020:  07:21:42

they have pole dancers and Polish accordionists.

The clientele there

OM45GE - Posted - 10/13/2020:  10:59:03

are mostly parolees.

They all have elaborate

Banjonewguy - Posted - 10/13/2020:  11:02:35

excuses for why they were innocent.

Then at the end of their stories

xmark - Posted - 10/13/2020:  16:12:26

they explain how they were raised on chunky peanut butter.

Another common theme in their stories

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/13/2020:  17:10:42

is closing barn doors after the horses have escaped.

I ride an old paint

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/13/2020:  17:42:30

bucket when my hormones are flaring.

Sometimes the