chuckv97 - Posted - 02/03/2021:  06:51:03

a few toothless hillbilly gals around to listen to the tunes on my Pa’s stereo.

That was before

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/03/2021:  09:03:44

dental hygiene came into Vogue in the far reaches of the upper backwoods.

The hillbilly gals

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/03/2021:  22:30:15

all went and got “store-bought” teeth after that.

Lulu could eat corn on the cob

OM45GE - Posted - 02/04/2021:  03:28:45

like nobody’s business with her new teeth.

You didn’t want to stand too close

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/04/2021:  04:22:09

to her corn ingesting operation lest you be sprayed with butter and saliva soaked corn kernels.

Sometimes

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/04/2021:  07:10:36

she’ll show off and eat’em through a picket fence.

Lulu says she’ll never git married

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/04/2021:  07:13:15

lessin’ she can wear the bib overalls in the family.

She needs a man

OM45GE - Posted - 02/05/2021:  03:52:47

who isn’t afraid to come home smelling like a cow barn.

He also should

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/05/2021:  08:26:22

be able to hang from the ceiling like the kitchen flypaper.

Lulu likes a flexible man

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/05/2021:  11:33:21

who can jump from the top of the dresser without getting his Superman cape stuck in the ceiling fan.



She insists her man have a big

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 02/05/2021 11:36:03

OM45GE - Posted - 02/05/2021:  17:10:14

brother who would like to join in on the fun from time to time.

It would be even better if he

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/05/2021:  18:31:07

brought his Great Dane and a bottle of Wesson oil.

Lulu’s the adventurous sort

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/05/2021:  19:24:23

when it comes to food selection and preparation.

She prefers

OM45GE - Posted - 02/06/2021:  03:43:07

to work alone so I’ve learned to stay out of the kitchen when she’s cooking.

One time she threatened

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/06/2021:  08:43:45

me with a meat cleaver.

Beaver Cleaver

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/06/2021:  11:10:00

she called it because she also used it for personal hygiene in the form removing unwanted unsightly hair.

One time she nicked

OM45GE - Posted - 02/06/2021:  17:42:38

herself in a very sensitive area.

I offered to kiss it and make it better but

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/07/2021:  06:15:29

she told me to kiss off because she had to take a dump.

As she headed for the outhouse

OM45GE - Posted - 02/07/2021:  13:25:04

I pondered my options.

Either I could

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/07/2021:  14:28:26

face the multiple stench or just tip the damn thing over.

Instead, I headed for the freight yards

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/07/2021:  14:48:46

to see if I could offload a big juicy possum roadkill I had found earlier up on county route #17.

When I arrived

OM45GE - Posted - 02/07/2021:  17:45:14

the railroad bulls had just arrived and were rounding up the bindlestiffs.

I decided

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/07/2021:  18:10:20

a Greyhound would be a better option.

Those old dogs can run

OM45GE - Posted - 02/08/2021:  03:16:42

amazingly quickly when the adrenaline kicks in.

I’m not quite as fast because

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/08/2021:  05:28:36

I only have two legs and no blinders.

Arriving at the dog track on the Greyhound bus

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/08/2021:  08:09:20

was none other than Huckleberry Hound.

His long-running gig

xmark - Posted - 02/08/2021:  09:24:31

in the cartoon industry came to an end about the same time video games were gaining popularity.

Nowadays, he

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/08/2021:  09:59:09

just sits around the doghouse singing "Oh My Darling Clementine”.

 

Word has it

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 02/08/2021 10:00:44

OM45GE - Posted - 02/08/2021:  11:53:36

that he's considering suing Hanna-Barbera for breach of contract.

He's trying to find a good

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/08/2021:  12:04:36

lawyer that has experience with canine dilemmas.

Rex Rover at Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe Associates

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2021:  03:18:35

has a solid reputation as a dogged litigator.



Unfortunately, he’s infested with ticks so

Edited by - OM45GE on 02/09/2021 03:19:01

Banjonewguy - Posted - 02/09/2021:  03:31:38

lyme disease is a distinct possibility.

But other than that

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2021:  03:33:57

he’s going to give you a good shake.

His fees are

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/09/2021:  06:07:59

negotiable and he won’t hound you or collar you about a late payment.



He is in high demand

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 02/09/2021 06:10:30

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/09/2021:  07:49:27

ever since he won that case against Foghorn Leghorn concerning his abuse on the Barnyard Dawg.



But don’t let his fees throw you

youtu.be/tzk93LR5SZw

Edited by - chuckv97 on 02/09/2021 07:53:51

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2021:  08:14:40

because you can pay them in dog treats.

He's not fussy

xmark - Posted - 02/09/2021:  09:21:26

as long as payment doesn't involve onions or lettuce.

He's more interested in quantity than quality, especially

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2021:  10:23:45

when it comes to bacon.

He needs are really pretty simple

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/09/2021:  11:12:48

- just a side of bacon, a doghouse, an outhouse, and the Lady who’s a tramp.

His last day in canine court

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/09/2021:  11:19:58

was cut short by an impacted canine incisor.

The pain

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2021:  03:29:18

was apparently pretty intense.

He wasn’t even interested in

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/10/2021:  05:11:30

in sniffing fire hydrants on the way to the Vet.

However he did drag his

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/10/2021:  07:06:29

CanineMobile at the local drag strip.

He managed to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/10/2021:  10:01:47

unleash his inner anxieties which had collared him since youth.

He finally

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2021:  12:09:53

realized that chasing parked cars was what was giving him headaches.

That made him wonder

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/10/2021:  14:12:08

if his whole life had gone to the dogs.

He decided

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2021:  16:57:09

to roll in a dead squirrel carcass.

That always made him

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/10/2021:  17:14:25

feel like a good huntin’ dawg.

Last week we went coon huntin’

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2021:  02:58:25

but my dog is hard of hearing and thought we were going “goon” hunting and we ended up at Grim Jim’s.

The patrons were not