OM45GE - Posted - 02/26/2021:  11:11:22

that defies the laws of physics.

It's been studied by

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/26/2021:  13:40:04

space aliens and found to be composed of inorganic materials.

Speculation

OM45GE - Posted - 02/27/2021:  05:37:33

about the possible extraterrestrial origins of the substance is confined to the lunatic fringe.

The sit around and

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/27/2021:  06:55:15

cook up theories concerning the eerie connection between Marty and Tony.

The last time Tony held an event in El Paso

OM45GE - Posted - 02/27/2021:  11:24:09

he was the only one there.

He wondered why

KyBanjo - Posted - 02/27/2021:  16:19:13

Marty had been so civil towards him at the beginning.

Then he remembered the time when Marty

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2021:  03:09:38

was singing bass in the local a cappella choir.

He needed to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/01/2021:  07:11:28

to take a whizz so he slipped out the side door and proceeded around back to the big oak tree.

It was then

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2021:  07:50:57

he saw the women choir members staring at him.

He immediatey

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/01/2021:  08:14:07

mooned them to get a laugh out of the besotted organist.

From then on

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2021:  10:04:33

the good ladies referred to him as either "Donkey" or "Moonbeam".

He wasn't sure which

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/01/2021:  10:42:29

, if either, he liked best seeing as how he owned two donkeys, one named “Moonbeam” and one named “Dick”.



After some thought

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 03/01/2021 10:43:17

OM45GE - Posted - 03/02/2021:  05:40:32

he decided Dick Moonbeam was a good name and set about having his name legally changed.

He started out at the Registry of Motor Vehicles

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/02/2021:  06:45:18

where he re-registered his 1961 Sunbeam Alpine under his new name.

He then strolled over

OM45GE - Posted - 03/02/2021:  12:09:44

to the Registry of Deeds hoping to transfer the deed to his house.

Unfortunately, they

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/02/2021:  13:37:53

asked for ID which he had not yet received. 



He was sure

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 03/02/2021 13:42:49

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/02/2021:  15:20:50

the mailman had made off with it, he told the deed-meisters.

Next thing you know

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/02/2021:  16:54:00

Barney had him in a jail cell next to a snoring Otis.

He tried

OM45GE - Posted - 03/03/2021:  03:33:19

stuffing toilet paper into his ears to block the racket.

It didn’t help at all and he looked

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/03/2021:  04:39:48

helplessly forlorn.

Suddenly

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/03/2021:  04:41:29

Andy came in with Mayberry’s town crier.

The new news was

OM45GE - Posted - 03/03/2021:  07:41:49

that there was no new news which was no news to anyone.

They all expected

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/03/2021:  09:01:23

to be informed that the county had decided to replace the old 62 Ford Galaxy squad car.

Goober

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/03/2021:  10:08:17

had forgotten to tighten the oil pan plug so Barney had run her dry of oil.

Apparently he failed to see the “low oil” warning light

OM45GE - Posted - 03/03/2021:  13:36:39

and had the radio turned up so loud that he couldn't hear the death rattle of the main bearings.

He finally realized something was wrong when

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/03/2021:  13:41:31

a connecting rod blew through the dash and mangled the radio right in the middle of a Patsy Cline song.

With a bewildered look

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/03/2021:  14:10:13

he fired his one bullet through the windshield, whereupon it grazed Floyd’s scalp as he was dozing on the bench in front of his barber shop.



“What a close shave”, he muttered

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/03/2021 14:11:14

OM45GE - Posted - 03/03/2021:  17:43:08

wondering what had woken him up.

He suspected

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/04/2021:  08:56:59

Barney had once again accidentally fired his bullet through the windshield of the police cruiser.

Deciding to have a look-see

OM45GE - Posted - 03/04/2021:  10:55:11

he headed over to the cruiser only to watch in amazement as Barney sped off down Main Street.

His tires screeched as he turned

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/04/2021:  11:47:33

a bright red in anger and anxiety.

Barreling down Route 52 he noticed

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/04/2021:  15:00:09

a flatbed truck over to the side of the road that looked suspicious

He quickly turned and

OM45GE - Posted - 03/04/2021:  17:45:38

pulled in behind the truck.

He approached cautiously and

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/04/2021:  20:46:39

suddenly realized he’d used up his one allotted bullet.

His hands began to shake

OM45GE - Posted - 03/05/2021:  02:35:48

and he had an urgent need to use the bathroom.

Unfortunately, the

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/05/2021:  06:18:39

nearest outhouse was located several miles away behind Goobers shop.

His eyes searched

OM45GE - Posted - 03/05/2021:  06:28:28

for someplace he could relieve himself.

He spied

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/05/2021:  10:00:42

a tree with a Y shaped trunk on which he could perch his naked white posterior.

After he sat

OM45GE - Posted - 03/05/2021:  11:05:43

he heard an ominous buzzing sound.

He realized that

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/05/2021:  11:21:33

he set down on a beehive and was stuck now.

He tried to

OM45GE - Posted - 03/06/2021:  02:51:58

expel a huge fart hoping to fumigate the angry bees.

Unfortunately his sphincter muscle was

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/06/2021:  05:52:35

seized up with tension.

He pulled out a can of pepper spray

OM45GE - Posted - 03/06/2021:  06:21:56

but couldn’t figure out how to get the cap off.

It was apparently childproof and Barney was

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/06/2021:  08:37:29

illiterate past the 3rd grade reading level.

It was then

OM45GE - Posted - 03/06/2021:  10:17:56

decided to abandon his dreams of becoming a college professor.

He set his sights a little lower and

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/06/2021:  15:21:52

decided that if he could just make detective one day he would be happy.



Meanwhile back in Mayberry,

Edited by - KyBanjo on 03/06/2021 15:25:17

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/06/2021:  15:57:25

Andy and Floyd discovered Aunt Bee and Otis naked in his cell.

Floyd

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/06/2021:  16:01:26

Goober and Otis got drunk.

Andy phoned the Mayor

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/07/2021:  06:35:25

who got ahold of Gomer and the Darlings and requested they show up to provide additional entertainment.

Soon