Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/23/2019:  18:08:47

, which makes him more like a guard cat.

Speaking of cats,

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/23/2019:  18:50:57

has anyone seen Sylvester lately?



I heard he ran off

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/23/2019 18:51:18

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/23/2019:  22:55:43

to make a new movie: “Rambo, the Last Remake.”

But financing became a problem when

OM45GE - Posted - 09/24/2019:  14:59:04

the producers realized the last remake had already been made.

That left them with

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/24/2019:  15:27:02

empty promises and unpaid extras.

Stallone became a persona non grata

OM45GE - Posted - 09/24/2019:  18:17:58

after he went to the show and tell at the local nursing home.



He didn’t anticipate that the residents may not want

Edited by - OM45GE on 09/24/2019 18:18:54

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/26/2019:  14:02:09

anyone punching a raw side of beef in their lounge.

They told him that Father Time Will

OM45GE - Posted - 09/26/2019:  15:38:16

be waiting patiently for him.

He said he wouldn’t

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/27/2019:  13:23:56

be going by that way.

Well,what happened was

OM45GE - Posted - 09/28/2019:  03:28:45

completely unexpected.

He bought a lottery ticket and

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/28/2019:  06:35:26

before he could cash in on $50,000 he got rolled behind Grim Jim’s Bar & Grill.

You could say

OM45GE - Posted - 09/29/2019:  17:30:14

it was a case of what goes around comes around.

However, I think

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/29/2019:  18:13:07

he had a negative balance on the karma scoresheet.

From now on

OM45GE - Posted - 09/30/2019:  02:52:13

I don’t plan to deploy my elephant repellent.

I’ve decided they

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/01/2019:  21:07:54

can run roughshod over me if they so desire.

You see, I’ve lost my mojo

OM45GE - Posted - 10/02/2019:  03:40:01

and am feeling bereft.

The last time I saw it I was

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/02/2019:  11:52:57

on the banks of the sea in the hands of some woman who had walked off with it from a party we were at.

She also was wearing a rather large revolver, so

OM45GE - Posted - 10/02/2019:  12:10:46

I decided not to pursue my mojo at that time.

Later, I realized that

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/02/2019:  12:12:18

I grabbed her banjo and commenced to picking a ribald tune.



She coyly said her name was Maggie

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/02/2019 12:13:09

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2019:  03:02:48

and she needed a musician now that Bob Dylan declined to play on her farm anymore.

I offered to plow her

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/03/2019:  12:07:45

back forty if she returned my banjo.

But that didn’t work out because

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/03/2019:  12:15:16

she said she’d had an operation and her back forty was off-limits.

Not only that, but

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2019:  14:15:07

she didn’t think much of the condition of my plow.

That was made painfully clear when she

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/05/2019:  02:29:01

started to sharpen my plow with a file.

Now I'm in the

OM45GE - Posted - 10/05/2019:  04:35:20

emergency room waiting to see the attending physician.

I’m expecting

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/05/2019:  07:42:15

a baby, so they said, but I’ll need a second opinion.

I haven’t felt this

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/05/2019:  09:13:06

hungry in years.

I have a yen for dill pickles, ice cream and

DC5 - Posted - 10/05/2019:  10:03:07

school paste.


The hospital dietitian said

OM45GE - Posted - 10/05/2019:  10:21:48

that was her definition of a balanced diet.

Of course, she doesn’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/05/2019:  10:49:10

look very chipper to me.

Actually, her teeth are

OM45GE - Posted - 10/05/2019:  11:36:09

clearly not her own.

In fact, I don’t think they’re even

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 10/05/2019:  15:48:36

Of a bi-ped species.

They chatter and clink like a

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/05/2019:  20:37:21

blender crushing ice.

Speaking of blenders—

Edited by - Bill Rogers on 10/05/2019 20:39:47

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2019:  04:46:35

weren’t you supposed to be making a batch of margaritas?

I’m getting

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 10/07/2019:  06:17:35

a job next week, and would gladly pay you on Thursday for a margarita today.

Just make sure it doesn't

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/07/2019:  07:18:40

have more than 80% alcohol.

I’ve been trying to blot out memories

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2019:  08:18:08

of my ex-girlfriend but it doesn't seem to be working.

Perhaps when she moves out

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/07/2019:  12:42:58

of my basement.

That should be soon because

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/07/2019:  12:46:39

we’re expecting a monsoon tomorrow and I’m keeping the basement windows nailed open.

I might throw her a pair of hip waders

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2019:  14:30:43

if she asks nicely.

Otherwise, I'll

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/07/2019:  17:15:53

just tell her to watch out for snakes, especially water moccasins.

I think that will get her to

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 10/07/2019:  17:45:24

Love me for who i am.

As for who i am, im not really

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2019:  18:16:14

sure which of my many personalities I am today.

We’re not all talking

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 10/07/2019:  18:27:01

To each other til next Friday.

A few of us cant control the things we

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/07/2019:  21:24:41

run across in off-the-wall Internet forums.

But when Friday does come,

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/07/2019:  21:33:12

I’ll just be beside myself with glee.

I once had a

OM45GE - Posted - 10/08/2019:  04:05:39

huge argument with myself over a trivial matter.

I thought we should

DC5 - Posted - 10/08/2019:  06:41:02

go see a shrink.

The problem was

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 10/08/2019:  07:59:26

He charged more than he said i was worth.

Faced with this dilemma is nothing