OM45GE - Posted - 08/08/2018:  11:28:27

coalmine except that it's much bigger and isn't a bird.

Far that matter, Old Faithful isn't even

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/08/2018:  17:02:04

cage.

but even that might be

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/08/2018:  18:04:49

an optical illusion, what with all the chemtrails these days.

I used to lay on my back and look at clouds

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/09/2018:  03:13:30

and imagine seeing all kinds of animals..

Now I lay on my back,look at the mirror on ceiling and

OM45GE - Posted - 08/09/2018:  04:06:57

try to untie myself.

If I ever get free, I’ll

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/09/2018:  08:11:43

be in court with that dame I met at Grim Jim's.

If you can't trust your own judgement

OM45GE - Posted - 08/09/2018:  08:35:00

relying on a bar floozies' judgement is even worse.

After she tied me up, she

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/10/2018:  02:54:12

she gagged and robbed me

There was only $46 in my wallet so she

OM45GE - Posted - 08/10/2018:  05:09:03

forced me to divulge the password for my ATM card.

Lord only knows what

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/10/2018:  07:29:23

the bank manager said to her as she sashayed out the door with all my loot.

Easy come, easy go

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/10/2018:  17:49:38

but I have a plan for her.

She will be very surprised to find out

OM45GE - Posted - 08/12/2018:  16:58:22

all the money I deposited at the bank was counterfeit.

When she tries to

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/12/2018:  19:39:54

spend it,,SHAZAM,,right into a jail cell

No more floozies for me because they

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/12/2018:  19:56:05

can't hold their liquor.

From now on it's 4-H girls

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/13/2018:  03:14:31

Women preachers for me.

I really don't know about the woman preachers but they

OM45GE - Posted - 08/13/2018:  04:14:34

look pretty good to me.

My eyesight isn’t what it used to be, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/13/2018:  04:27:55

what the heck,,I'll take whatever I can scare up.

Went fishing yesterday in the Indian River and got

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/13/2018:  08:26:53

5 Seminoles on the line.

They went after those Rapalas

OM45GE - Posted - 08/13/2018:  13:38:31

like 10 cent quarters.

I plan to

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/13/2018:  15:35:32

I plan on using more and different lures and plugs.

But A person can't

OM45GE - Posted - 08/13/2018:  18:38:59

just use old fishing equipment to attract retired exotic dancers.

That’s why I

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/13/2018:  20:13:21

regularly visit the Bass Pro Shoppe before heading to the wrong side of the tracks.

A good dose of sturgeon roe

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/14/2018:  03:04:06

will cause the bowels to relax.

However,,,the roe will also help benefit

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2018:  03:33:58

your iodine levels.

Everyone knows that iodine

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/14/2018:  04:16:56

is an antiseptic.

But it's also good for

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2018:  06:12:21

a surprise filling in homemade donuts.

Your kids will

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/14/2018:  08:31:54

never speak to you again.

You can't treat kids like that and

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2018:  10:32:52

expect them to think it's OK.

On the other hand, the silence is

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/14/2018:  10:33:58

war paint if'n you decide to join a reservation.

Chiefs Nokahoma and Wahoo were banned

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2018:  10:42:37

after committing a page turn error even though we've all done it.

Perhaps it's because they are

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/14/2018:  19:59:32

not of this real world.

My imagination sometimes gets

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/15/2018:  03:19:17

in the way of my friends.

If'n you have some friends,you might want to

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2018:  07:22:28

determine whether they are real or imaginary.

All of my friends are

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/15/2018:  09:15:37

gonna be strangers.

but on the other hand they will

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2018:  13:16:57

walk through swinging doors and play the jukebox.

Bar stools have been my downfall

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/15/2018:  19:06:41

because I trip over them.

Sometimes the barmaid offers

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2018:  03:58:45

to call the police, but I always decline the offer.

They already

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/16/2018:  07:07:29

have a 3 inch thick file on me.

My lawyer dropped my case

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/16/2018:  08:27:23

on his foot and broke it.

Now that's a pretty big

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2018:  14:07:19

file if I do say so myself.

I worked hard for every

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/16/2018:  14:42:04

entry those flat feet made, including the time I dug my way out of the County bucket.

I used to be called “the human backhoe”

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2018:  18:50:05

because of my prodigious excavation talents.

Now they just

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/17/2018:  02:34:53

call me big foot.

Not to be confused wjth

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2018:  06:55:43

Sasquatch from Saskatchewan.

I decided to donate my brain to science

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/17/2018:  09:58:02

even though I know they will trash it.

It might be better if they

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2018:  12:57:10

wait for me to be done with it before they come looking for take it.

You would think that

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2018:  13:17:08

a grade 4 graduate would have a brain worthy of scientific study.



My asking price

Edited by - chuckv97 on 08/17/2018 13:17:26

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/17/2018:  13:28:23

means the same as "firm".

Shucks,they think that everyone is

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2018:  13:33:03

just a pile of spare parts for them to pick through.

I’ll have them know