banjoscotty - Posted - 08/15/2019:  03:51:35

the cat left the room.

Then someone said that we

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2019:  05:36:43

were going to be arrested for cruelty to the cat.

I don't know how

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2019:  07:00:34

should take singing lessons from Madame LaFemme, the opera singer.

However, it turns out she

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2019:  07:17:01

hadn't noticed the page had turned and she was signing from the wrong song.

When that happens, we

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2019:  15:29:09

throw out all sheet music and start scattin’ the blues.

Mme. LaFemme turned scarlet

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2019:  16:49:33

when I burst into the bathroom without knocking.

She was in the middle of

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/16/2019:  04:45:13

turkey in the straw.

but she sure moved fast when

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2019:  05:48:35

when she saw the hungry look in my eyes.

I think she was worried that

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/16/2019:  08:58:36

my zeal had gone overboard.

Please don’t tell your local beat cop

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2019:  12:25:49

about my hobbies.

He won't understand and will have to

Rossanne - Posted - 08/17/2019:  13:41:11

..visit the wild life park have lunch with the friendly Orangutan's..

thought it amusing on way back home..

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2019:  15:01:52

to bust a little old lady for driving too slow.

She said,”Sonny - my taxes pay your wages!”

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/17/2019:  15:09:45

And my legs hurts too!

Not to mention my

Rossanne - Posted - 08/17/2019:  15:18:21

..you know..

whence suddenly dark clouds appeared and a peculiar air filled the air...wooooo!

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/17/2019:  15:39:42

Woo wooooo Went the train

Soon a small disc shaped

Rossanne - Posted - 08/17/2019:  16:00:44

pancake went skimming past my elbow..
my compartment was quickly filled with the aroma of....

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/17/2019:  16:47:04

Fudge.

Now let me tell

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2019:  17:34:46

you kids about something really different.



My mother's sister used to

Edited by - OM45GE on 08/17/2019 17:35:22

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2019:  17:37:22

be called Aunt Bessie, and all the neighbourhood cats would get milk at her back door.

One day the milkman

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2019:  17:40:15

was sneaking out the back door, hoping to get to his truck unnoticed.

Unfortunately,

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/18/2019:  08:22:30

His truck was recently painted blaze orange.

Ever the crafty fella, he

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/18/2019:  09:08:56

disguised himself as the mailman and walked around the block before retrieving his truck.



By then 17 cats

Edited by - chuckv97 on 08/18/2019 09:09:11

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2019:  11:32:08

had snuck into the milk truck, tipped over several cases of milk and were furiously lapping up every drop they could.

This was certain to get him

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/18/2019:  11:48:01

The ‘ I saw 17 cats’ award.

In his excitement, he almost forgot

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/18/2019:  17:24:44

to zip up his fly.

He tried herding the cats

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2019:  03:45:11

using a lariat and his JB Stetson hat.

He quickly learned that cats

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/19/2019:  17:06:04

Cannot play chess very well.

Being that unlucky can only

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/19/2019:  17:08:54

be a harbinger of good things to come.

He lost 180 pounds of ugly fat

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2019:  18:23:00

by dropping his sister off at the bus station with a one way ticket to Homer Alaska.

What she'll do there is

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/19/2019:  20:44:49

Classified ,

But it is possible she’ll be posing as a

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/19/2019:  21:55:43

stand in for the Palin Reality Show.

As everyone knows, the Palins

Bill Rogers - Posted - 08/19/2019:  22:03:34

are in politics.

Realizing the risks in that endeavor, she bailed to a job as

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/19/2019:  22:42:00

forest fire tower ranger.

From there she could see

OM45GE - Posted - 08/20/2019:  05:06:39

most of the way to someplace else, but her knowledge of geography was scanty so she didn’t know where that someplace was.

If she only had

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/20/2019:  08:39:05

A ship sextant.

By following the stars, she ended up on

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/20/2019:  08:54:02

a Hollywood Street corner, pushing a shopping cart filled with empty pop cans .

The stars weren’t lining up

OM45GE - Posted - 08/20/2019:  11:50:12

very well for her and the talent scouts didn't see beyond her facial features to the woman within.

That may be a good thing, because

Rossanne - Posted - 08/21/2019:  04:12:13

..the territory although discrete now and then became translucent...

the chief scout master..

Edited by - Rossanne on 08/21/2019 04:13:07

OM45GE - Posted - 08/21/2019:  05:11:43

was thinking of resigning at the end of the year.

He had been

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/21/2019:  06:54:41

tied up to a fir tree at the last campout.

His knot-tying instructions

Bill Rogers - Posted - 08/21/2019:  11:40:57

proved all too successful.



Luckily, a passing hiker heard his cries for help, and she

Edited by - Bill Rogers on 08/21/2019 11:41:39

OM45GE - Posted - 08/21/2019:  11:58:36

posted dozens of photos of his plight to various social media sites.

Before she left, she

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/21/2019:  14:58:46

spit in his face and said, “Girl Guides RULE!”

He offered to buy some cookies

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/21/2019:  15:25:42

Unfortunately, she was selling Harpers Bizarre magazine.



Lucky for him, he had

Edited by - yeoldbanjoguy on 08/21/2019 15:26:15

OM45GE - Posted - 08/21/2019:  17:41:12

weirdly been thinking of giving Harpers Bizarre subscriptions to all his friends who liked shopping at the bazaar for obscure sunshine pop band albums.

They liked to listen

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/21/2019:  17:56:27

to sappy, happy fluff that church ladies approve of. (yes, I know - ended a sentence with a preposition?)

Perhaps “of which they approve” is more

OM45GE - Posted - 08/22/2019:  03:55:23

correct grammatically but, to my ears, it sounds a little stilted.

I get nervous

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/22/2019:  08:41:42

around grammar police.

My grade 10 English teacher

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/22/2019:  08:53:07

Once ate 50 bowls of jello in a row.

This caused great