banjoscotty - Posted - 08/01/2014:  12:19:04

just mingle with the other herds.

Tarzan once rode one to

jistgreg - Posted - 08/01/2014:  21:37:32

Cheetah's Ball, but it wasn't for friends of his chimp. 

It was for those fast, spotted cats who 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/01/2014:  22:12:11

yearn to be spotless and slow.

Big Cat Zen

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/02/2014:  02:04:38

was one of those.

Turpinetine is good for

OM45GE - Posted - 08/02/2014:  05:38:29

cleaning paint brushes, but did you know it makes an excellent mouthwash?

You may never have to

Edited by - OM45GE on 08/02/2014 05:41:10

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/02/2014:  06:15:01

brush your teeth again.

Alrighty Now,,,What was

OM45GE - Posted - 08/02/2014:  06:21:42

that giant panda doing in the refrigerator?

He has no

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/02/2014:  06:46:52

pants on and is contaminating our food.

I wish those Aussies

OM45GE - Posted - 08/02/2014:  07:42:03

stop sending cute pictures

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/02/2014:  09:05:27

of their odd looking kin folks.

They can't even sing

OM45GE - Posted - 08/02/2014:  10:04:04

a simple folk song without making it into a major production with a full pit orchestra and dancing girls.

Take, for example,

jistgreg - Posted - 08/02/2014:  20:13:07

the Brad Pit Orchestra with Gingivitis "Ginger" Rodgers. 

Young people these days don't realize 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/03/2014:  00:29:47

that dancing girls were shunned by church ladies.

Pole dancing,however,

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/03/2014:  03:23:42

kept the girls warm.

All the little shells at the seashore are

jistgreg - Posted - 08/03/2014:  04:50:19

small caliber, and some are unexploded. 

A walk on the beach can be 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/03/2014:  06:39:42

a blast,but don't overdo it.

She sells seashells

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/03/2014:  06:40:24

rewarding if you have your sweety with you.

Don't go into the water when

jistgreg - Posted - 08/03/2014:  11:31:29

it's raining cats and dogs. 

You might step in a poodle; then 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/03/2014:  11:46:29

your tabby at the beach bar will be cut off.

Drowning your

OM45GE - Posted - 08/03/2014:  17:27:33

unwanted pets is not socially acceptable. 

The pets don't 

jistgreg - Posted - 08/03/2014:  17:46:17

seem to like it much either. 

My dad said that sack of kittens was going to turn into catfish, but 

OM45GE - Posted - 08/03/2014:  17:53:17

I think he was kidding me. 

How could

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/04/2014:  00:42:35

cats' feet turn into fins,and hair balls change into slime.

These tall tale lies

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/04/2014:  02:56:06

all originated in either Ireland or Germany.

Everybody take cover,,it's

OM45GE - Posted - 08/04/2014:  04:51:09

time for me to try something entirely different.

For my first trick, I would like to

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/04/2014:  08:41:11

load up my banjo resonator chamber with gunpowder.

When I pick out "Jesse James"

OM45GE - Posted - 08/04/2014:  11:11:52

and get to the verse about the dirty little coward who shot Mr. Howard, you should cover your ears.

I'm not sure if five pounds

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/04/2014:  14:42:26

dynamite will send me into next week.

Time travel

OM45GE - Posted - 08/04/2014:  16:41:14

sounds theoretical and many have tried to debunk it.

But I put instant coffee in the microwave oven and

jistgreg - Posted - 08/04/2014:  21:35:51

it turns back into whole, dry coffee beans! 

If I could fit my wife into the microwave and set it for minus 20 years, 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/04/2014:  21:52:38

she'd cram me in there too,to get me frisky again.

But my '03 Buick

MWBailey - Posted - 08/05/2014:  01:34:52

has no microwave.

Buicks are uncomfortable for gnus, because

OM45GE - Posted - 08/05/2014:  03:01:17

any gnu you knew prefers a Subaru.

They're quite the

jistgreg - Posted - 08/05/2014:  06:25:13

height of automotive delight. 

"Drove my Chevy to the levee but..." 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/05/2014:  07:11:24

getting back home was difficult.

That 350 engine is

OM45GE - Posted - 08/05/2014:  08:33:31

on it's last legs for sure.

It's leaking oil and making

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/05/2014:  08:56:56

"take me to Rocky's junkyard" noises.

I could always

OM45GE - Posted - 08/05/2014:  09:00:27

tell when a motor was starting to fail long before others would notice anything wrong.

It's almost as if

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/05/2014:  09:59:53

I was at one with the machine,especially when my crankcase was dry and my pushrod needed lubrication.

Many a back seat

OM45GE - Posted - 08/05/2014:  11:06:59

has been the site of push rod lubrication.

You can tell by the

jistgreg - Posted - 08/05/2014:  12:27:38

worn out springs -- and shocks -- and struts. 

I try to be open-minded, but 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/05/2014:  13:35:01

some of those gals had no inkling of my intellect.

Their idea of

OM45GE - Posted - 08/05/2014:  15:42:45

of bright is when the dome light shines in their eyes.

I'm just being honest,

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/05/2014:  16:31:07

and had nothing to do with those shinanigans.

But I had a "49" Ford with offenhauser flathead that

OM45GE - Posted - 08/05/2014:  16:33:55

would flat out get up and ramble on down the road.

Many tried to beat her, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/06/2014:  05:00:27

she was much faster than Maybelene.

After all,,,she was the

Edited by - banjoscotty on 08/06/2014 05:02:00

OM45GE - Posted - 08/06/2014:  06:46:32

the only Offy equipped car in the area. 

I remember one time 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/06/2014:  17:22:55

Oppenheimer,the famous physicist,tried to beat my offenhauser flathead.

But squareheads

OM45GE - Posted - 08/06/2014:  18:04:25

are no match for flatheads and the race ended in a total rout of Oppenheimer.

He retaliated with a massive nuclear strike, leaving