DC5 - Posted - 01/02/2019:  16:23:46

throw the clothes back out right after they were put in.


Unfortunately, my mother

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2019:  03:29:10

thought that meant they were clean so she folded them and put them away.

That meant we all smelled like

DC5 - Posted - 01/03/2019:  04:59:42

the boys locker room at the middle school gym.


This affected our social life

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2019:  05:37:31

in unexpected ways.



Our dating lives became non-existent, but we were suddenly very popular with

Edited by - OM45GE on 01/03/2019 05:38:05

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/03/2019:  06:09:27

the gang down at Grim Jim's.

Since then, our lives

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/03/2019:  08:31:06

have taken a major turn around.

Needless to say,we are now

DC5 - Posted - 01/03/2019:  11:07:18

sporting tattoos and piercings.


Unfortunately the tattoos

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/03/2019:  15:20:41

are "heat scores", and I've endured police "harrassment" for months now.

I think I'll

OM45GE - Posted - 01/04/2019:  03:14:24

try to change my ways if I can figure out what my ways are.

Perhaps someone who

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/04/2019:  04:41:14

knows me can help.

But if not,I'll just

DC5 - Posted - 01/04/2019:  05:19:54

join the Salvation Army.


Ringing a bell

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/04/2019:  08:19:05

for a good cause can help me ignore the increasing tinnitus.

Perhaps they'll promote me to Sargeant

DC5 - Posted - 01/04/2019:  08:30:40

at arms, since I have two.


Have you ever noticed

OM45GE - Posted - 01/04/2019:  17:59:23

that you always find things in the very last place you look?

For some reason you never

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/04/2019:  18:20:17

look in the last place first because it would then cease to be named such.

Taking another name

OM45GE - Posted - 01/05/2019:  06:39:49

has occurred to me but I haven’t any idea what name to pick.

I’m worried that I

DC5 - Posted - 01/05/2019:  09:16:53

might offend one group or another no matter which name I select.


Don't you think it's weird that

OM45GE - Posted - 01/05/2019:  09:51:09

nobody seems to know that I am Master of the Universe?

After all, I was given the post by

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/05/2019:  12:22:37

Markie Post, after her stint on "Night Court".

Her figure can stop a freight train

OM45GE - Posted - 01/05/2019:  18:12:56

and my beating heart.

Her smile

DC5 - Posted - 01/06/2019:  11:51:04

, even before she lost her teeth, made me melt.



Sometimes at night

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/06/2019:  12:58:03

I have terrifying visions of being married to a barfly.

My three jobs keep me busy

OM45GE - Posted - 01/06/2019:  17:39:52

but apparently not busy enough.

I seem to have enough time to

DC5 - Posted - 01/06/2019:  17:44:20

write letters to the White House.


Mostly I like to congratulate

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/07/2019:  08:43:00

former Arkie guvners for their entertaining hijinks.

My loco State rep

OM45GE - Posted - 01/07/2019:  11:34:08

has finally crossed the line.

Last night, she

DC5 - Posted - 01/07/2019:  15:14:14

submitted a bill to raise taxes on saliva.


Now she's planning to run

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/07/2019:  18:53:52

for dogcatcher in our local county election.

Pavlov's dog was a walking saliva factory

OM45GE - Posted - 01/08/2019:  03:09:09

I don’t know what breed he was but his name rings a bell.

There were actually many

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/08/2019:  11:58:30

Russian dogs wearing the Bolshevik uniform.

One was called "Ovie"

OM45GE - Posted - 01/08/2019:  12:36:01

for his peculiar attraction to ovulating women.

The women were equally attracted

DC5 - Posted - 01/09/2019:  15:52:44

to Ovie.





This was in primarily due to the size of his

Edited by - DC5 on 01/09/2019 15:53:17

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/09/2019:  18:11:04

wallet, that he purchased at a Swiss bank.

My last trip to Siberia

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/10/2019:  04:11:13

was a salty one.

Never the less I had a

DC5 - Posted - 01/10/2019:  06:47:10

a bit of frost bite in my toes.


This caused me to

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/10/2019:  08:25:03

become hooked on Siberian cannabis to alleviate the pain.

I'll never leave

OM45GE - Posted - 01/10/2019:  10:12:01

home without my Russian Red weed.

It's so strong, I

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/13/2019:  17:47:22

often forget to go to work on my job as brain surgeon.

Many a patient has run out of

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2019:  17:54:28

patience being my patient.

I know I don’t work quickly, but

AGACNP - Posted - 01/13/2019:  18:43:23

I always deliver “smashing” results!

I’ll never forget the time I

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/13/2019:  18:46:49

rode my Harley into the operating room to relax my patient, a long time Indian rider.

His last request

AGACNP - Posted - 01/13/2019:  18:59:52

was for one of those Banquet Chicken Fried Chicken TV dinners. Unfortunately, we were fresh out.

He had to make do with

OM45GE - Posted - 01/14/2019:  03:31:43

some lobster casserole left over from the staff lunch.

I hope he likes

DC5 - Posted - 01/14/2019:  06:25:01

warm mayonnaise as it was left out for awhile.


I don't remember the symptoms

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/14/2019:  06:36:25

that something like that produces.

Anyway,It should be very

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/14/2019:  07:23:33

exciting at the seniors residence after a lunch of chili and toast.

I'm glad they've installed

AGACNP - Posted - 01/14/2019:  07:42:35

a methane exhaust system.

Now, when the staff

OM45GE - Posted - 01/14/2019:  10:07:03

needs to fumigate the laundry room, they have a ready supply of deadly gas.

The only problem is

DC5 - Posted - 01/14/2019:  10:28:46

they have not yet banned smoking.


The first one to light up