OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2022:  11:58:06

Gomer burst in all excited about something or another.

Barney was so startled, he

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2022:  13:35:29

he mistook Gomer’s grease gun for a Colt 45.

As he reached for

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/26/2022:  14:52:34

his own revolver he realized it was locked in the cell with Otis.

In a shaky panic

OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2022:  17:53:28

he soiled his trousers and fell to the floor whimpering.

Otis started laughing uncontrollably

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2022:  18:34:49

, then asked Gomer for a cigarette.

Gomer rolled him up some dried poison ivy leaves

OM45GE - Posted - 04/27/2022:  04:04:37

which landed Otis in the hospital.

To this day nobody

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/27/2022:  06:19:37

dares to go to the local swimming beach.

They say

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/27/2022:  08:01:09

blue green algae are prevalent causing health issues.

Most lifeguards

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/27/2022:  09:06:36

sit in their towers wearing sunglasses so they can ogle the bikini clad babes.

Sometimes

OM45GE - Posted - 04/27/2022:  18:06:35

they ogle speedo clad dudes.

Not that there’s anything

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/27/2022:  22:04:40

wrong with bipolar sex.

The cattle next door are lowing

OM45GE - Posted - 04/28/2022:  03:16:28

and I’m tempted to go over a tip a few so I can get some rest.

However, it’s not the

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/28/2022:  04:41:03

cattle that are most irritating.

The rooster

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/28/2022:  09:21:12

crows all day as long as he sees the sun, that is.

The hens scurry

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/28/2022:  11:23:22

away in fright because he has a reputation as a nasty clucker.

Except for the brown hen Lolita

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2022:  03:54:39

who is attracted to foul fowl.

She even likes

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/29/2022:  04:45:18

her interactions with rooster to happen in the dirty mud of the farm yard.

She

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2022:  06:04:51

has an adventurous streak.

But the chopping block awaits

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/29/2022:  10:57:12

those that stick out their necks.

It was a dreary

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2022:  11:18:52

Monday afternoon when the doorbell rang.

I went to the

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2022:  12:26:04

basement to get my bazooka.

I’m always prepared for nosy neighbours

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/29/2022:  16:11:54

who tend to interrupt me at the worst of times.

Today was no

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2022:  13:53:07

exception as I was busy sorting my sock drawer by color.

It’s extremely

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/30/2022:  14:12:16

rare that I take the time to actually sort my socks.

I usually concentrate

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/30/2022:  16:42:28

on my fingerpick collection, categorizing them by alloy, date of purchase, and brand name.

My filing system

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2022:  17:38:00

is extremely efficient except that I don’t understand it at all.

Perhaps I should have

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/30/2022:  19:00:11

taken up stamp collecting as a hobby.

I’ve heard

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/30/2022:  20:34:04

that a 1916 Woodrow Wilson stamp is worth the price of a 1934 Gibson Granada banjo.

As for me, I figure old stuff is passé

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/30/2022:  22:10:18

that a 1916 Woodrow Wilson 20 cent stamp is worth the price of a 1934 Gibson Granada banjo.

However, most

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/01/2022:  09:09:58

BHO “Finish My Sentence Game” players are not allowed two consecutive entries.

I’m sure an exception

OM45GE - Posted - 05/02/2022:  02:58:30

can be made in special cases and this case is certainly special.

Philatelists are always

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/02/2022:  06:34:42

referencing the latest titanium Showgard brand 907 Stamp Tongs as if it were the Holy Grail.

Any banjo enthusiast would certainly

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/02/2022:  08:44:45

want Earl Scruggs on a stamp.

Snail mail, however,

OM45GE - Posted - 05/02/2022:  12:39:03

has its charms.

For example, emails can’t

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/02/2022:  14:02:27

dusted with perfume to convey a subliminal message.

Also

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/02/2022:  14:35:13

dogs can’t bite email deliverers like they can snail mailmen/women/persons.

I show my dog videos of

OM45GE - Posted - 05/03/2022:  03:34:08

letter carriers and cats but doesn’t seem interested.

He’s too busy

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/03/2022:  07:34:49

peering through his deep tint sunglasses at scantily attired housewives.

He once saw

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/03/2022:  08:53:23

a naked cat wearing a ribbon around its neck.

There’s no cure

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/03/2022:  13:48:06

for stupid.

Which reminds me

OM45GE - Posted - 05/03/2022:  14:49:13

of something, but I can’t remember what is it.

I’ve got several

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/03/2022:  16:59:07

gerbils that I keep as pets.

I find

OM45GE - Posted - 05/03/2022:  18:35:53

they don’t talk back or laugh at me when I goof up.

However, they do

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/03/2022:  19:35:23

get back at me by stinking up their cage.

Lois down at the pet shop

OM45GE - Posted - 05/04/2022:  03:09:41

suggested I stop feeding them garlic and onion pizzas.

That’s not going to

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/04/2022:  05:51:46

go well with the United Brotherhood ofGerbils and Hamsters.

I asked Lois for her credentials

OM45GE - Posted - 05/04/2022:  06:46:57

and she laughed nervously and then said she had to go sort out her sock drawer.

I knew that was a lie because

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/04/2022:  07:03:35

Lois is a nudist and does not own socks.

She claims animals don’t wear

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/04/2022:  14:14:02

clothes so why should humans.

I told her it’s to hide ugliness