chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2019:  18:58:42

,even after Deputy Fife threw them in jail with Otis.

“Wait til Otis wakes up” said

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/27/2019:  03:44:24

Barney as he slammed the door shut.

The smell will knock

OM45GE - Posted - 04/27/2019:  03:54:51

your socks off and make your eyes water.

What Barney didn't know was

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/27/2019:  06:42:25

that Otis had turned over a new leaf.

He had met a nice lady

DC5 - Posted - 04/27/2019:  07:17:18

who was having trouble down at the filling station.


He offered to

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 04/27/2019:  07:44:27

Give her a free lube job.

Well, gome thought he meant

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/27/2019:  07:53:47

an innocent ,friendly grease job on her ‘’63 Valiant.

But the grease nipples

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 04/27/2019:  08:09:15

Turned out to be more than one man could handle.

As fast as he could, he had Sara

OM45GE - Posted - 04/27/2019:  13:24:26

hose him down.

When that didn’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/27/2019:  15:16:48

wilt him , she got out the ball peen hammer.

Ever since, Otis has been

DC5 - Posted - 04/27/2019:  17:57:44

singing soprano in Floyd's barbershop quartet.


Fred Rutherford called Ward

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/27/2019:  18:06:25

to tell him Lumpy and Wally were hanging out at Dora’s Flophouse.

Ward snickered

DC5 - Posted - 04/28/2019:  05:40:06

remembering tales of his own miss-spent youth.


His sly smile caused June

OM45GE - Posted - 04/28/2019:  18:41:14

to tell him he had been a little rough on the Beaver last night.

That made Ward

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/28/2019:  20:12:25

a mite irate, and he stormed out of the house.

With his Chrysler burning rubber, he

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2019:  03:39:00

headed off to Moe’s tavern.

When he arrived,

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2019:  08:30:00

Fred was at the bar knocking back Rusty Nails like there was no tomorrow.

He yelled,”Hey Cleaver,

DC5 - Posted - 04/29/2019:  08:42:22

June was busting out all over in that sweater she almost had on last night.


Ward took one look at him and

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2019:  14:46:34

tried to decide which was more important to him, his freedom or shutting Fred's gob once and for all.

Ultimately, he figured

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2019:  14:57:51

on putting Fred in a full nelson, then stuffing some pickled eggs down his throat.

However, the tarbender

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 04/29/2019:  16:20:58

was secretly tending to June’s desires on the side.

When Ward got wind of this, he nearly

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2019:  18:14:11

jumped for joy.

This was the perfect opportunity to

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 04/29/2019:  18:23:14

Tell Eddie exactly how he felt.

Gazing out the window, ward spied

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2019:  21:31:37

Haley’s Comet on a direct path, heading for city hall.

He realized then that

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/30/2019:  04:07:22

all was lost in his social life.

so he sat down and

DC5 - Posted - 04/30/2019:  05:56:09

contemplated whether it was real, or only in the script.


His difficulty determining what was real

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2019:  06:51:06

caused a lot of problems as he stumbled his way through life.

It started very early when

Cotton1 - Posted - 04/30/2019:  07:01:26

he first watched the Wacky Races one Saturday morning.

He thought he recognized

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/30/2019:  07:30:10

Archie Andrews in the crowd with Olive Oyl.

His hands trembled as he reached for

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 04/30/2019:  09:42:53

Something sharp or at least pointy.

Then, without warning, he

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2019:  10:04:11

fell to the ground like a quivering mass of jelly.

He had fallen victim to

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 04/30/2019:  10:54:51

Super colossal public embarrassment.

Reeling from his reoccurring

OM45GE - Posted - 05/01/2019:  03:20:44

incontinence, he ran to the bathroom and locked the door.

He vowed to never

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/01/2019:  03:52:20

reach for Olive Oil again.

Now he just sits at home and

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/01/2019:  05:43:08

wonders what the rest of the world is doing.

His immersion into deep self-hypnosis

DC5 - Posted - 05/01/2019:  08:17:28

has lead to massive weight gain.


Turns out he eats continuously while

Cotton1 - Posted - 05/01/2019:  09:46:28

watching "Waterboy" the movie over, and over again.



Peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches

OM45GE - Posted - 05/01/2019:  16:03:27

are just an appetizer.

He quickly moves on to

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/01/2019:  16:45:56

fat back pork, mashed potatoes with pancakes smothered in syrup.

His heart has stopped often

Cotton1 - Posted - 05/01/2019:  17:35:57

Triggering crazy dreams and visions.

It was a '52 Vincent

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/01/2019:  18:08:56

Price dream that involved a shaved cat.

As a neighbor was passing by, he

OM45GE - Posted - 05/01/2019:  18:43:05

offered them $50 to go buy him four large pepperoni pizzas and a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. 



He thought that would 

Edited by - OM45GE on 05/01/2019 18:44:28

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/01/2019:  18:47:06

set him up for the new “Fat-Buster Medical Breakthru Diet Plan”.

All he has to do is swallow 5 Benzedrine tablets

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/01/2019:  19:16:37

3 Ativan, and 2 cotton balls.

Having completed this minor task, it was

OM45GE - Posted - 05/02/2019:  02:32:54

back to the time machine he was building in the shed behind the house.

All he needed

Cotton1 - Posted - 05/02/2019:  07:50:00

was a set of hex keys and some gorilla glue and he would be all set in no time.

"OH NO" he wailed as

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/02/2019:  07:52:52

Time ticked away.

I’m not gonna have time to

OM45GE - Posted - 05/02/2019:  08:24:23

spare nor time to waste.

In fact, I may not be able to

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/02/2019:  09:09:09

time the release date of my autobiography.

Just then Eddie Haskell