OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2018:  19:08:46

mumbles and has a bad lisp.

It makes her difficult

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/18/2018:  05:14:41

to understand.

But she's the teacher so

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2018:  05:35:48

used to say she would remember me as the butcher of the English language.



I thought I speaked real good, but

Edited by - OM45GE on 08/18/2018 05:36:04

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/18/2018:  07:42:29

my dangling participles got in the way of my hanging prepositions.

She then gave me a detention

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2018:  12:14:01

after I complemented her fine figure.

When I walked into the detention room

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/18/2018:  13:52:59

she was the teacher in charge.

After detention was over she winked and

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/18/2018:  21:28:29

told me a whopper.

So we vamoosed to Burger King

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/19/2018:  02:24:28

and had burgers fit for a king.

Then she produced an english book and started

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/20/2018:  02:23:03

with the a,e,i,o,u,and sometimes w and y.

That got my attention and

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/20/2018:  04:03:03

the rest is history.

Highschool was a drag

OM45GE - Posted - 08/20/2018:  06:15:58

and the longest seven

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/20/2018:  08:04:43

days of my life.

I then took a job hauling water

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/20/2018:  09:25:07

to help the fire dept.

That job ended when

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/21/2018:  02:15:43

the well went dry.

I never heard Willie complain of

OM45GE - Posted - 08/21/2018:  03:44:10

anything.

He seemed pretty happy

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/21/2018:  06:44:14

playing center field for the Giants.

Drysdale kept knocking him down

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/21/2018:  08:37:00

but that's what he's supposed to do..

Never let it be said that

OM45GE - Posted - 08/21/2018:  17:17:23

I don’t care about the price of tea in China.

Just yesterday I checked

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/21/2018:  17:18:44

my brain at the door of the used car lot office.

I now own a

OM45GE - Posted - 08/21/2018:  17:35:59

clapped out Ford Pinto.

The salesman threw in a fire extinguisher and a

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/22/2018:  02:00:38

short handled shovel.

It's a funny looking little car but it

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/22/2018:  02:34:18

has more get-up-and-go than a pensioner on geritol.

Not only that, but the 8-track

Bigfoot21075 - Posted - 08/22/2018:  03:16:37

Tape player had John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together in the deck

Along with a set of

OM45GE - Posted - 08/22/2018:  03:32:44

fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror and I was styling for sure.

The police stopped me and wanted

Bigfoot21075 - Posted - 08/22/2018:  04:06:20

to search my trunk for Jimmy Hoffa

But when they opened it

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/22/2018:  04:19:26

out jumped the energizer rabbit.

I like to drive it because it has

OM45GE - Posted - 08/22/2018:  04:40:47

a certain style that complements my stage personality.

I like to say that it

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/22/2018:  05:24:06

is contemporarily fashionable.

Reading between the lines you

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/22/2018:  06:58:48

know I’m not happy about getting drunk before visiting Karl’s Kut-Rayt KarLot.

I’ve become the laughing stock

OM45GE - Posted - 08/22/2018:  11:12:53

the used car salesmen there because of all the lemons I've bought from them.

They call me the

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/23/2018:  04:30:53

Fireman,,that;s my name.

George Strait got that one

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/23/2018:  07:28:19

after he visited Smoky the Bear and stole his hat.



Those forests up yonder are tinder-dry

Edited by - chuckv97 on 08/23/2018 07:29:21

OM45GE - Posted - 08/23/2018:  10:06:35

so please be careful with matches.

It’s very easy to

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/23/2018:  12:30:44

accidently throw a stick of dynamite out the car window.

Never drive in the middle

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/23/2018:  12:50:31

of an airport runway.

They dont care that you built wings

OM45GE - Posted - 08/23/2018:  16:30:48

out of balsa wood and duct taped them to your doors.

They don’t think much of your silly

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/24/2018:  03:30:55

looking rudder either.

Just turn around and taxi

OM45GE - Posted - 08/24/2018:  03:56:34

over to the repair hanger.

They will

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/24/2018:  04:49:50

assist you in removing all that junk from your car.

Then you can continue on to your

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 08/24/2018:  04:55:49

local junk yard and sell the whole thing for scrap.

But the scrap man might decide to

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/24/2018:  05:52:55

bilk you out of a few greenbacks.



Never trust a guy named

Edited by - chuckv97 on 08/24/2018 05:53:09

OM45GE - Posted - 08/24/2018:  06:22:24

"Sticky Fingers Louis".

He's sure to

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/24/2018:  07:57:46

con you in some way.

OH well,,we never know which one will

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/24/2018:  09:42:47

end up at the front of the line facing St. Peter.

He’ll tell you to butt out that cigarette

OM45GE - Posted - 08/24/2018:  12:09:24

and stop singing “Ding Dong, the Witch is Gone”.

Maybe he’s not a fan of

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/25/2018:  02:49:37

that particular movie.

That's ok because nobody

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/25/2018:  06:51:44

gets out of here alive.

I bought a plot

OM45GE - Posted - 08/25/2018:  07:25:59

of land in the Everglades only to find out it was completely under water.

I’m trying to get

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/25/2018:  09:08:40

buried below sea level , as a tribute to my heritage.

Too many Dutchmen drowned