chuckv97 - Posted - 12/16/2016:  15:50:41

high-falutin' music ,but it was good enough for the girls he went out with.

His bow arm

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2016:  16:05:03

had grown to a grotesque size from all his fiddling, easily twice the size of his left arm. 

This made him look 

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/17/2016:  03:29:36

like half of Pop Eye.

So he started playing felt handed and

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2016:  04:40:50

soon looked like all of Pop Eye. 

Soon Olive Oyl showed up and said, 

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2016:  06:54:33

"Listen you fiddling fool you,,how's about we join Wimpy for hamburgers at the diner?"



So he wisked her off to

Edited by - chuckv97 on 12/17/2016 06:54:51

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/17/2016:  08:35:21

see if Wimpy was still at the diner.

But Wimpy had eaten all the burgers and

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2016:  09:48:43

left with Olive's brother, Castor Oly. 

They planned to

Forrest - Posted - 12/17/2016:  10:12:26

elope together in secret

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2016:  10:22:57

hideaway chapels where vows consisted of only four/fore/4words - "Don't bring me down".

Many good folks of ambiguous gender

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/17/2016:  12:32:03

have performed this same stunt.

After all is said and done it's still

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2016:  12:44:56

a risky venture. 

I tried

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2016:  12:49:35

being ambiguous one time and the beefy State Trooper threw me outta the women's restroom.

Embarrassed and humiliated, I

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2016:  12:54:42

told him I would slap him with my purse it he tried anything. 

His derisive laughter hurt

Forrest - Posted - 12/17/2016:  17:44:41

my feelings in a way that they've never been hurt before.

Which caused me to

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2016:  18:20:37

weep uncontrollably until tears rolled down my leg. 

That just made him 

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2016:  18:32:41

seriously dumbfounded so he jumped in his cruiser and headed for the liquor store.

The next morning they found

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2016:  19:28:45

his cruiser down by the river with the lights flashing, the engine running and a bra and panties hanging from the rear view mirror. 

They suspect that

Forrest - Posted - 12/17/2016:  19:59:55

foul play was involved, especially since the packing for a blow-up love doll was also found in his car. 

The primary suspect

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2016:  20:05:09

the stress of police work had caused a breakdown in his normal reasoning, leading to a wild night of drunkeness and debauchery with a truck stop lot lizzie.

Why he jumped on a river barge

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/18/2016:  02:23:24

nobody knows,,except maybe he was going to visit his nephew Mike Fink.

When the Governor heard of all this he

OM45GE - Posted - 12/18/2016:  04:08:10

immediately disavowed all knowledge and responsibility and promised to launch a full investigation 

Then he called his lawyer 

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/18/2016:  07:22:23

asking his advice concerning disposing of the remains.

The plot thickened

OM45GE - Posted - 12/18/2016:  09:23:58

when it turned out that his lawyer was also representing Castor Oyl. 

He said it wouldn't 

Forrest - Posted - 12/18/2016:  13:51:39

be a conflict of interest, but then the truth really came out.

The newspaper reported that

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/18/2016:  14:21:36

the Guv and Castor were planning a weekend Vegas getaway.

It was a sticky ,(not oily) ,situation

Forrest - Posted - 12/18/2016:  15:43:41

mainly due to their unfortunate addictions to pancake syrup and gummy bears.  

The article went on to say

OM45GE - Posted - 12/18/2016:  17:51:57

that their relationship was purely platonic, which seemed to believe until the videos showed up on the internet. 

The sight of the two men 

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/18/2016:  18:58:03

sharing a milkshake using two straws was the proof in the pudding.

Then they rented a tandem bicycle

Forrest - Posted - 12/18/2016:  20:41:55

and rode it around town wearing matching bicycling outfits. 

The most telling thing

OM45GE - Posted - 12/19/2016:  03:34:51

was the photocopy of their marriage license. 

I don't understand why they didn't just come out and be done with it, perhaps 

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/19/2016:  04:49:22

staying in their respective closets with their skeletons was a safer bet.

Speaking of betting,

OM45GE - Posted - 12/19/2016:  05:14:03

I bet you a hundred dollars (US or Canadian) that you can't stop gambling.

There are several reasons

Forrest - Posted - 12/19/2016:  07:56:31

with the first being the fact that we're talking about a bet.

The second being

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/19/2016:  08:32:55

the fact that the first fact has no factual basis.

The fact is, I

Forrest - Posted - 12/19/2016:  09:31:11

am confused about the facts, which really isn't a fact at all, unless you're talking about a non-additive fact, in which case, I'm just dandy.

Back to the matter at hand, 

Edited by - Forrest on 12/19/2016 09:31:33

OM45GE - Posted - 12/19/2016:  10:07:11

I assure you that there's nothing up my sleeve except my arm.

The magic paraphernalia is hidden

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/19/2016:  10:24:54

in Kreskin's safety deposit box, and no one remembers the combination.

Where is Houdini

OM45GE - Posted - 12/19/2016:  11:48:55

when we need him?

He once jumped off the Mass Ave Bridge

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/19/2016:  12:22:10

and ended up in Alabama.

Don't mess with those "Bama" boys because

OM45GE - Posted - 12/19/2016:  12:26:26

they know how to put a whupping on you.

The only problem is that Houdini

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/19/2016:  12:46:08

can escape the clutches of the meanest SOB this side of Hell's Kitchen.

Going over Niagara Falls in a barrel

OM45GE - Posted - 12/19/2016:  12:50:43

is not my idea of a fun time, but a fair number of people have tried and a few have even lived to tell about it.

The first person to survive a trip over the falls was

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/19/2016:  21:43:34

Jethro Bodeen, a strapping young lad with a cast iron skull.

He was trying to impress Miss Jane

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/20/2016:  02:44:22

who turned out to be Mr.Lane,,Jethro Bodeen's landlord.

This had a great effect on Jethro and he

OM45GE - Posted - 12/20/2016:  03:15:03

started wearing women's clothing whenever he went over the falls from then on. 

One time he wore

Forrest - Posted - 12/20/2016:  06:38:04

nothing but suspendies and a bra, which wasn't surprising given the fact that he's worked on and off as a Lumberjack for the past few years.

Jethro's biggest stunt to date was

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/20/2016:  07:15:32

diving off a 100 foot platform into a glass of water.

Needless to say it was

Forrest - Posted - 12/20/2016:  07:18:26

a spectacular bust, just like the glass of water. 

Jethro's head hasn't 

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/20/2016:  07:54:22

suffered any ill effects but his ciphering skills have taken a downturn.

He now works for free