OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2022:  18:01:42

that she probably does about me as well in spite of my generous tipping.

Unfortunately, the only way

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2022:  19:17:49

out of this is to video her antics at Grim Jim’s on a Saturday night.

There’s more than one way

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2022:  03:13:33

to skin a cat, or so the saying goes.

Why one would wish to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/07/2022:  08:56:02

brush their teeth with an old-school, hand held toothbrush?

Nowadays

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2022:  11:07:53

I put my teeth in a glass of denture cleaner on the nightstand right next to my glass eye.

My prosthetic leg is

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/07/2022:  11:51:49

seems to have been misplaced but I'm keeping an eye out for it. 



I forget where I

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/07/2022 11:53:56

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/07/2022:  12:32:26

left my ear horn.

I used it yesterday at the movie theatre

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2022:  18:43:18

but I kept hitting the guy next to me with it.

As they were escorting me out they said

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/08/2022:  00:04:23

I had a great, albeit misplaced and demented, sense of humor.

After I stopped laughing

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2022:  03:20:30

I put my ear horn to my ear and asked them to repeat themselves.

That started them

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/08/2022:  04:59:43

on the road to lamenting on their absurdly abusive childhoods.

It seems

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2022:  07:07:29

Friday the 13th falls on the 8th this month.

My old school wall calendar

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2022:  18:00:36

had a faded picture that I will never be able to forget.

It showed a

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/09/2022:  04:58:27

picture of Daisy Duke driving a Farmall tractor that’s red paint had faded to a pleasant shade of John Deere green.

Now, some might say

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2022:  06:59:19

you’ve been smoking the wrong stuff, but I know what I saw.

Daisy once dated John Deere’s great grandson

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/09/2022:  11:15:52

John Deere JR the III who favored dressing like everyday was St Patrick’s day.

Once he got plowed at

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2022:  12:34:37

the annual John Deere dealer convention.

They found him face down

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/09/2022:  13:41:18

in a north-south furrow next to a hedgerow.

Some say he fell

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2022:  14:01:47

in with the wrong crowd.

His brass knuckles

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/10/2022:  11:21:52

were actually made of cardboard painted to look brass-like.

He carried his

OM45GE - Posted - 04/11/2022:  03:10:21

gun outside his vest for all the honest world to see.

Why he never

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/11/2022:  05:58:12

embraced Purple Rain and the Purple Prince is still a mystery.

Maybe

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/11/2022:  07:33:11

his mojo done expired.

All’s well that

OM45GE - Posted - 04/11/2022:  17:37:50

that ends in a well, or something like that.

I get

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/11/2022:  18:15:43

a pain in my neck when I play banjo these days.

It might be the studded strap

OM45GE - Posted - 04/12/2022:  03:49:14

which certainly helps with slippage but those studs sure are sharp.

There has to be

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/12/2022:  10:19:01

a better way to impress the dollies.

Perhaps a 6 inch pompadour

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/12/2022:  10:54:58

, or better yet maybe even a 9” or 10” pompadour would be to their liking.

There’s only

OM45GE - Posted - 04/12/2022:  18:08:51

to find out and that is to do it.

I’ll book an appointment

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/12/2022:  18:31:55

with Justin Bieber’s hairstylist tomorrow.

I’m sure he’s not busy

OM45GE - Posted - 04/13/2022:  03:27:48

especially now that Justin is sporting a buzz cut.



I’m not as

Edited by - OM45GE on 04/13/2022 03:28:05

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/13/2022:  09:50:29

worried about fashion trends anymore.

When I was younger

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/13/2022:  11:36:59

I was the poster boy for the fashion trend of “no fashion”.



If you didn’t like the way I

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/13/2022 11:37:28

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/13/2022:  12:34:54

look, look the other way!

My Ma used to remind me to do up my fly

OM45GE - Posted - 04/13/2022:  12:54:49

by saying something obscure like, “White flag down below”.

I always had to ask

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/13/2022:  14:57:17

“Ma, Why don’t you just say, ‘Your Barn Door is Open”?

She always

OM45GE - Posted - 04/13/2022:  18:26:28

looked at me with such disappointment in her eyes.

Then she would smile and ask if I

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/14/2022:  05:45:14

was sharing a brain with my brother.

The truth was

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/14/2022:  10:47:44

all her family members spent years in grade 5.

Mom watched The Edge Of Night

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/14/2022:  11:41:57

and As The World Turns.

I sometimes think

OM45GE - Posted - 04/14/2022:  17:41:48

she preferred those TV families to us.

In fact, I’m pretty sure

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/15/2022:  05:55:22

, given the choice, she would rather have been a TV mom like June Cleaver.



Maybe she was secretly attracted 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/15/2022 05:57:32

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/15/2022:  08:15:35

to Ward , although she usually shunned Chrysler drivers.

She once cursed at a New Yorker

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/15/2022:  10:19:30

who drove a New Yorker, and that was how she learned proper use of the social Finger.

Her education

OM45GE - Posted - 04/15/2022:  10:51:45

was primarily at the school of hard knocks after she graduated with honors from Harvard.

She never used

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/15/2022:  11:55:15

a dictionary or an outhouse, for that matter.

Her jargon was a combination of

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/15/2022:  13:10:24

South Jersey and Cajun/French shyster, with a touch of West Texas used car salesperson thrown in.



Her tattoos

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/15/2022 13:17:10

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2022:  04:43:15

told the tales of an interesting and varied life.

One of them was

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2022:  06:30:01

of Smoky the Bear.

She loved a man in uniform