OM45GE - Posted - 12/13/2019:  03:43:21

there are several points to remember.

First of all, never

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/13/2019:  10:52:44

buy wine at a flea market, no matter how good a deal it seems.

Second, it’s all right to buy wine that comes in a screw-cap bottle, as long as

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/13/2019:  11:10:24

you ingest copious quantities of antibiotics first.

Every wino I’ve met

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/13/2019:  18:28:38

misses the old, sweet fortified Thunderbird wine. Now Gallo actually bottles varietals under the Thunderbird label.



Which means the go-to wine for the gutter sots is now

Edited by - Bill Rogers on 12/13/2019 18:29:10

OM45GE - Posted - 12/14/2019:  03:13:22

mouthwash, which is inexpensive and about 30 proof.

It also

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/14/2019:  04:12:02

washes away any odours caused by gingivitis and abscessed teeth.

Dentists on skidrow

OM45GE - Posted - 12/14/2019:  05:47:19

deserve some kind of medal or hazardous duty pay.

They have

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/15/2019:  20:25:11

become winos themselves to numb out their daily travails.

This leads to parties in the waiting room

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/15/2019:  22:07:30

which have engendered lawsuits for sexual abuse.

So the skid row dentists have hired both civil and criminal defense attorneys to

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2019:  03:19:17

deal with the litigiousness.

The expenses are

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/16/2019:  11:55:59

more than the state can afford.

But they shall continue to

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2019:  13:26:02

rack up the billable hours.

At some point they

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/16/2019:  14:26:16

will find locks on the doors.

Then they’ll be sleeping under bridges

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2019:  18:17:35

huddled together under threadbare blankets.

Their camaraderie

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/16/2019:  21:17:34

under great stress from police raids.

But now that they can’t be rousted unless they have rejected proffered shelter,

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/16/2019:  21:27:20

the hobo jungles live on, perpetuating the false romance of traveling on $1.27 a day.

If your wife kicks you out

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/16/2019:  21:56:51

you can go to a nearby freeway overpass or head for the freight yards, if such exists nearby.

Either way, be sure you get your flu shot, because

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2019:  03:33:50

germs will be rampant and your resistance will be weakened.

Also, you probably won’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2019:  04:19:40

be playing banjo because she smashed it into pieces.

Always lie to your wife

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2019:  04:54:05

when she asks you what you’re thinking.

Saying “nothing” will just make her

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/17/2019:  10:55:30

go into “silent mode,” which will drive you nuts in a few hours.

So it might be time to consider

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2019:  11:03:23

booking a room at the local psychiatric hospital to make sure you have a bed.

Check the visiting hours

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2019:  11:32:13

to schedule your naps at that time.

Annoying visitors

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/17/2019:  22:42:15

can be an enjoyable pastime.

Of course there’s always a risk that the hospital goons

OM45GE - Posted - 12/18/2019:  03:41:58

will emerge from the break room spoiling for a fight.

When that happens,

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/18/2019:  04:57:48

just play possum.

If you can’t do that, then

OM45GE - Posted - 12/18/2019:  05:03:39

try hiding under you your bed.

Cover your ears and

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/21/2019:  18:28:43

be very, vewy quiet.

The goons will

OM45GE - Posted - 12/21/2019:  19:02:48

probably still get you but you don’t want to go out screaming in terror like a sissy now do you?

Think of what your friends would

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/28/2019:  09:10:58

write on your headstone.

When I die

OM45GE - Posted - 12/28/2019:  16:45:00

I was going to donate my body to science.

Unfortunately, science

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/28/2019:  22:13:11

as such, is a rather nebulous concept.

So I’ll look for something more specific, such as

OM45GE - Posted - 12/29/2019:  02:58:08

the biology lab at the high school.

I wonder what the students

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/29/2019:  10:49:02

do there in this digital age.

I wonder if they still cut up frogs, or

OM45GE - Posted - 12/29/2019:  10:52:20

is there an app that allows them to do it digitally?

Would the experience

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/29/2019:  12:21:16

be worthy in the grand scheme of things.

I’ve long ago lost my Bunsen burner

OM45GE - Posted - 12/29/2019:  17:39:43

which makes my chemistry experiments more difficult.

There have been several

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/29/2019:  19:57:04

failures trying to use a brazing torch.

So I guess I’ll have to try

OM45GE - Posted - 12/30/2019:  03:38:32

a surplus Army flamethrower I bought online.

First I need to

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/30/2019:  08:53:02

move my wife and kids out of the county.

Then I’ll call Mr. Dugo, my grade 12 chemistry teacher

OM45GE - Posted - 12/30/2019:  13:13:46

who I believe has completed his parole.

He’s usually

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/30/2019:  18:06:43

to be found in his custom-built lab.

There he works carefully—to avoid

OM45GE - Posted - 12/30/2019:  18:27:19

unwanted visitors.

He’s a bit paranoid

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/30/2019:  18:36:15

about the hydrogen bomb he’s constructing.

He bought 50 bottles of hydrogen peroxide

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/30/2019:  19:31:16

and plans to bleach the neighborhood feral cats.

That might be difficult though, because

OM45GE - Posted - 12/31/2019:  04:26:21

we all know how difficult it is to herd cats.

Personally I would

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/31/2019:  10:14:09

sic twenty coyotes after them.

I’ve been camping out in the desert

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 12/31/2019:  10:32:42

, hoping my bookie's goons don't find me.

If I'd bet on ol' Stewball

OM45GE - Posted - 12/31/2019:  10:42:06

like the wino behind the stables told me, I would be living on easy street now.

Hopefully the other residents