chuckv97 - Posted - 03/29/2022:  21:43:02

him to walk the straight line, plus two pieces of ID.

Jethro told them

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2022:  04:00:04

He couldn’t possibly walk a straight line now that he had come out of the closet.

He also didn’t have

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/30/2022:  07:25:54

valid ID, so he produced condoms and distributed two to each officer.



That was the beginning

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 03/30/2022 07:27:47

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2022:  07:52:53

of the end.

Jed had to bail him out

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2022:  12:56:08

but decided to let him stay for a couple of days.

That backfired when Jethro

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/30/2022:  16:02:27

became popular with the police force and invited them all to party at the Mansion.

Ellie May was

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2022:  18:29:28

there, dressed in a particularly short pair of short shorts.

Nothing was left

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2022:  18:43:01

to the imagination as she wrassled the cops for hours on end.

Their uni’s

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2022:  03:19:08

became soaked with perspiration and other bodily fluids.

Later, the forensic evidence unit would discover

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/31/2022:  06:57:07

the permanent press polyester police uniforms had not lived up to manufacturers claims.

They had easily wrinkled

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2022:  09:27:43

and tore easily.

Photos of the incident were on the front pages

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2022:  12:07:49

of several local newspapers with a combined circulation of 76.

It’s not that people

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/31/2022:  12:47:29

didn’t read the local newspapers anymore, it’s mostly because they were too cheap to buy them.

Instead they relied on

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2022:  13:49:39

Grim Jim’s newspaper that he’d leave laying on the bar.

Jim said it drew business

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/31/2022:  15:05:12

and the smell of newsprint freshened the stale bar air a bit.



Sometimes

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 03/31/2022 15:05:58

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2022:  18:10:11

Jim would use the newspaper to swat flies on the bar.

Their mangled little corpses

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2022:  18:46:18

would sometimes fall into Judge Harry Hangum’s boilermaker.



The judge ruled

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/31/2022 18:47:05

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/01/2022:  04:00:28

against Jim’s application for permission to operate an on premises strip joint.

Since then

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2022:  04:15:32

All of the stripping takes place off-premises.

The action is

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/01/2022:  07:32:41

getting a bit weak on my trusty old fly-fishing rod.



I’ve decided

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/01/2022 07:33:01

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/01/2022:  09:30:30

to fling into my favorite dumpster.

From now on

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/01/2022:  14:47:00

I’ll get my fish from my local meat and seafood market.

It’s cheaper

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2022:  16:42:17

than dining out every night.

On the other hand,

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/01/2022:  20:03:51

I’ll miss the ever lovely Agnes, my favourite waitress at the beanery.

She gives me extra syrup

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2022:  03:56:34

for my waffles and keeps my coffee cup filled.

She also sweetens my dreams with

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/02/2022:  06:11:50

with visions of her sugarplumbs dancing in my head.

My late, first ex-wife

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2022:  09:18:54

lies at the bottom of the Ohio River.

She was attempting

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2022:  13:35:29

to set a record for the longest dead man’s float.

She hadn’t counted on

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/03/2022:  05:59:14

not knowing how to float.

She sunk like

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2022:  07:22:10

a stone trailing bubbles the entire way down.

The fish watched

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2022:  09:16:44

and just shook their fish heads.



Speaking of fish, I bought 25 dented cans of tuna yesterday at 77 cents apiece

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/03/2022 09:17:10

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/03/2022:  10:17:01

and the “Use By” date was only 17 months past it’s expiration.

I figure I will soak them in lye

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2022:  17:14:48

and make my own lutefisk.

Not everyone

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2022:  18:21:00

is keen on lutefisk but it’s one of my favourites.

I was raised on

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2022:  19:36:47

“Lutefisk is also consumed in Canada because of its relatively large Scandinavian population, particularly in the traditionally agricultural, inland provinces of Western Canada. As of 2016, there are about 463,000 Norwegian Canadians, 350,000 Swedish Canadians, 207,000 Danish Canadians and 143,000 Finnish Canadians.[19] Organizations such as the Sons of Norway hold annual lutefisk dinners. Lutefisk is sometimes available in specialty stores[20] and supermarkets where there are large Scandinavian populations. Kingman, Alberta proclaims itself on its greeting sign to be the "Lutefisk capital of Alberta".”

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2022:  03:41:49

smörgåstårta and kalops.

My mouth waters

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/04/2022:  07:30:37

when I see a Scandinavian woman eating dead fish.

Blondes with accents

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/04/2022:  07:40:59

love Hotdish and bars at Minnesota potlucks.

eater.com/2016/5/15/11611558/w...s-hotdish



youtube.com/watch?v=_bFHOTimYgE



You can tell lutefisk has gone bad when

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/04/2022 07:41:36

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2022:  17:35:43

it starts hanging around biker bars and carrying switchblade knives.

Before you know it, they will be

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/05/2022:  06:47:43

doing time in the Mini-Soda State Pen.

Gone are the days

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/05/2022 06:48:12

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/05/2022:  09:29:23

of yesteryear!

Tomorrow

OM45GE - Posted - 04/05/2022:  18:18:51

never comes.

At least that’s what

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/05/2022:  19:08:33

I was told by Charlie Brown, who always waited til next year.

High inside heaters

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2022:  03:55:50

must be terrifying coming at you.

They’re sometimes called

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/06/2022:  05:02:55

curling irons by beauticians.

My hair stylist

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2022:  06:04:24

wears pink crocs.

I told her

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/06/2022:  07:37:46

spiked heels and thigh-high stockings would look more becoming on her.

Apparently

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2022:  12:05:41

she took exception to that because my haircut was about the worst I’ve ever had.

I wouldn’t have tipped her except

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2022:  12:46:21

she has some information on me that I’d like to keep secret.

She gossips