dow - Posted - 04/03/2019:  17:55:31

that we'll save money on razor blades.

But she's been making eyes at

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2019:  18:03:57

Swami “the Sword Swallower” who has a weakness for hairy women.

They’ve been spotted

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2019:  03:07:01

behind the cotton candy vendor.

It was sweet

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2019:  06:05:05

until the floss-maker exploded.

Sword and beard were stuck together

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2019:  02:47:22

which caused problems for the EMT’s.

They had never

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/09/2019:  05:05:09

had a double jeapordy like this before

but they went to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2019:  09:14:24

a machine shop where Biff took a Makita grinder to the problem.

Screams just egged Biff on

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2019:  10:07:23

until more than the sword and beard were separated.

In fact, nothing

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/10/2019:  04:38:18

was left of the grinder.

Then he thought about

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2019:  07:42:30

his fat wife Prunella and her vicious temper.

With renewed determination

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2019:  08:45:15

he set to packing his bags and digging up the money he had buried behind the barn.

He fervently hoped

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2019:  12:25:12

he could elude Prunella’s FBI brother, who thought nothing of pulling suspects’ fingernails out with pliers.

During the dead of night

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2019:  12:59:42

he would awaken with a start and try to figure out if it had all been a bizarre dream.

Then he would remember

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2019:  22:15:06

what his Zimmerman said,”Them dreams are only in your head.”

However, after his BP went north of 190/120

OM45GE - Posted - 04/11/2019:  03:16:22

he called 911.

As they loaded him into the ambulance

dow - Posted - 04/13/2019:  07:06:23

he motioned for the oxygen mask to be removed so he could speak.

He gasped,"It was me. I was in the.."

OM45GE - Posted - 04/13/2019:  07:21:48

Space shuttle when it escaped earth orbit.

The EMTs immediately recognized

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/13/2019:  07:35:23

a fraud when they see one, so they gave him a shot of sodium pentathol to hear the truth.

The painful reality was that

OM45GE - Posted - 04/13/2019:  08:40:15

he and the truth had no relationship whatsoever.

All the sodium pentathol did was

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/15/2019:  09:21:55

make him jabber something in Japanese.

We had no

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/15/2019:  09:32:19

interpreter handy, so we wrote it off as hogwash & balderdash.

A Japanese Gold Star

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2019:  04:12:46

was awarded to everyone for having fun at Biff’s expense.

They all went to

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/16/2019:  04:35:53

Burger King to celebrate.

We left there and

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2019:  05:56:51

immediately stopped in at CVS to buy a carton of Rolaids.

The gastric turbulence

dow - Posted - 04/16/2019:  06:18:03

caused a rift in the time-space continuum.

From the rift, there issued

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2019:  08:16:10

what scientists at first thought was a black hole but which they later decided was more of a brown hole.

That led them to hypothesize

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2019:  19:38:23

‘til the cows came home, but no solid theories were put forth.

The Dept. of Nonsense & Shoelaces

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/17/2019:  03:31:33

declared it senseless and laceless.

But that didn't bother

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2019:  10:04:23

me because I wear cowboy boots.

Everyone knows that cowboy boots

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/17/2019:  11:54:54

create ugly blisters when walking those city sidewalks.

A fool and his horse

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2019:  03:27:04

take a very long time to finish the New York Times Crossword.

They argue about

DC5 - Posted - 04/18/2019:  05:58:27

three English words that end in -gry.


They were all angry and hungry and

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/18/2019:  06:49:51

became nonangry after a repast of rolled oats and oatmeal.



Mr. Ed and offspring

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/18/2019 06:51:59

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2019:  09:25:41

preferred chocolate chip cookies and cold milk.

They were particularly ravenous after

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/22/2019:  08:29:33

a long meeting with Francis the Talking Mule.

Their plans were

OM45GE - Posted - 04/22/2019:  11:19:10

to enslave their human exploiters and start their own sit-com starring the hapless bipeds.

The first problem they ran into was

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/26/2019:  04:57:23

finding paper to write on.

Then came the

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2019:  05:02:59

debate over pencil vs. ballpoint pen.

Francis’ stubborn streak

OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2019:  06:00:32

led to a complete stalemate.

The last time I checked, they were

DC5 - Posted - 04/26/2019:  10:31:20

testing ball point pens to write across butter.


Just exactly why

OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2019:  11:24:53

this was important to them is a mystery.

They refuse to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2019:  12:31:30

take it to arbitration, not trusting the Hoofed Animal & Hog Association.

Perhaps they’ll find some alfalfa in Scotty’s back forty and calm down

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 04/26/2019:  14:22:08

To the point of absolute exhaustion.

However , this only created

OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2019:  15:19:40

another problem when the animals started snoring and farting in their sleep.

The resulting din

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2019:  15:21:59

woke Fred Ziffel and Arnold, his pet pig.

Fred threw open the upstairs window

OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2019:  15:25:54

only to be overcome by a noxious cloud of methane.

Arnold ran

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 04/26/2019:  17:22:08

Wildly in circles.

This caused a raucous among

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2019:  18:02:08

the ruckus-raising mules in Fred’s stable.

Meanwhile, Mr. Ed and Francis

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 04/26/2019:  18:18:25

Bavier caught the attention of Floyd .

This could only mean one thing...