Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/31/2019:  18:36:26

only to find it won’t take Canadian coins.

So, the only thing to do was

OM45GE - Posted - 12/31/2019:  20:13:43

head downtown and book into a luxury hotel.

Don’t call me a

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/31/2019:  21:14:55

doormat anymore; my lawyer has tapped your phone.

My shrink says

Bill Rogers - Posted - 12/31/2019:  23:08:20

spying on people gives you a needed sense of power.

So now I have this feeling that I can

OM45GE - Posted - 01/01/2020:  03:48:36

leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I’m still not faster

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 01/01/2020:  04:32:18

than Quick Draw McGraw.

The last time we were at the shooting range together

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/01/2020:  07:22:02

he singed my scalp with a stray bullet.

Don’t be fooled; those cartoon characters

OM45GE - Posted - 01/01/2020:  17:18:40

have feelings just like you or I.

Quick Draw used to cry when

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/01/2020:  17:28:53

El Kabong showed up at times.



Which made the town very happy and

Edited by - KyBanjo on 01/01/2020 17:29:40

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/01/2020:  17:30:54

they celebrated with a few highballs.

Deputy Dawg never met Festus

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/01/2020:  23:56:08

or Chester.

Matt Dillon, OTOH, typified the

OM45GE - Posted - 01/02/2020:  04:18:24

kind of person ole Deputy Dawn liked to call his friend.

Matt was

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/02/2020:  09:27:18

spending too much time “upstairs” with Kitty’s “girls”.

“Wink, wink,,nudge, nudge”,

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/02/2020:  10:45:13

was the watchword.

But Kitty pulled rank on the “girls” so she and Matt could

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/02/2020:  11:06:04

enjoy a shot of rotgut and Kitty a beer.

When Festus came in with news of

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/02/2020:  13:28:01

the late arrival in town of Tonto, everyone considered him crazy.

Even Quint, the halfbreed blacksmith

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/02/2020:  15:34:48

knew Tonto and had shooed white feller once or twice.

But this made no difference to the folks in Dodge because

OM45GE - Posted - 01/02/2020:  18:56:53

they were busy getting the hell out of town.

This started a

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/02/2020:  19:59:04

mass migration to the Canadian border.

Kansans were then held in cages

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/02/2020:  21:33:15

where the locals paid admission to see them.

But the feeding expense was too much, so they were released into the wilds of North Dakota, where

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2020:  03:03:36

they founded a small town that quickly grew into a small city.

The local government was

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 01/03/2020:  03:18:17

considering implementing a pole tax.

This move was opposed by a coalition of barbers and exotic dancers

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2020:  04:53:44

along with the pole vaulting team at the high school.

It was an odd coalition, but

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 01/03/2020:  05:20:52

was receiving growing support.

The measure was ultimately defeated when recent immigrants from Warsaw

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2020:  09:14:07

successfully convinced the residents that Poland held the exclusive rights to the word “pole”.

That wasn’t true, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/03/2020:  10:19:50

in the ND grand scheme of things, it passed muster.

If you stand on a beer bottle in ND and look off into the distance

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/03/2020:  12:55:38

you can see the ghost of Ole Rolvaag sitting against a haystack.

More than a thousand miles south, the Sooners and the Longhorns duel annually on the Cotton Bowl gridiron at the Texas State Fair, where

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/03/2020:  13:15:08

a hockey game was played just mere hours ago.

Why ice makers come to Texas

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2020:  18:30:48

is a mystery likely to never be solved.

We may have to accept

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 01/04/2020:  04:17:42

MasterCharge and BankAmericard no longer, once we all agree to be implanted with a chip.

The Ministry of Plenty will

OM45GE - Posted - 01/04/2020:  04:20:35

track your purchases for what they say are completely benign purposes.

If you’re skeptical of that,

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/04/2020:  10:01:16

just pack your grip and take a trip.

My days in the rat race are over

OM45GE - Posted - 01/05/2020:  13:50:56

because I got tired of losing to the rats.

My retirement tour lasted

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/05/2020:  14:38:12

Just long enough for me to retire.

That's ok because I'm not

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/05/2020:  15:31:16

ballin’ the jack anymore.

I’ve got more memories

OM45GE - Posted - 01/06/2020:  03:10:49

than I can remember.

I’m not sure all of them are

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/06/2020:  20:47:06

worthy of bedtime stories for the kids.

Yesterday I resigned

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/06/2020:  22:08:11

or more exactly, quit offering my services as a freelance adviser.

Seems people don’t really want advice, even if they need it, so

OM45GE - Posted - 01/07/2020:  03:27:50

few of them were willing to accept advice from me that my business model wasn’t sustainable.

Now I need to

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/07/2020:  09:39:26

line up at the welfare office.

All my friends have become strangers

OM45GE - Posted - 01/07/2020:  10:58:25

to one another.

I’m the only person they

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/11/2020:  10:07:42

haven’t put on the grease.

Yesterday was cancelled

OM45GE - Posted - 01/11/2020:  17:31:10

due to a lack of interest.

Everyone was looking forward to

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/11/2020:  17:40:43

the playoffs.

But will they

OM45GE - Posted - 01/11/2020:  17:44:45

still be fans if the hometown heroes choke like last year.

They blew a huge

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/11/2020:  18:54:48

group flatulence when the team went down in defeat.

Next year promises

OM45GE - Posted - 01/11/2020:  19:04:57

to be even gassier because the team has set up a new chili dog stand.

They’re expecting

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/11/2020:  23:12:59

them to sell like, er... hot dogs.

They’ll have three levels of chili, starting with

OM45GE - Posted - 01/12/2020:  05:43:13

mild and ending with five alarm.

The latter is hotter than