chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2021:  07:37:37

about keeping his gravesite clean.

They figured he wouldn’t mind

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2021:  08:04:10

because he was a lifelong slob.

His home was so messy

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/06/2021:  08:46:15

because the only thing he hated worse than the mess was cleaning.

Once he hired

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2021:  10:18:12

one of Kitty’s “girls” to clean up his abode.

But she darn near fainted

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/06/2021:  10:22:17

once she saw what a mess his place was.

She decided

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2021:  11:53:15

to feign a sudden illness and left immediately.

That happened quite often

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/07/2021:  05:00:32

throughout Festus’ life no matter the circumstances.

Women

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2021:  05:04:54

have an instinct about these sorts of things.

Their instincts told them

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/07/2021:  08:02:40

to stay clear of dirty, unkempt loafers.

Meanwhile, over at the Ponderosa

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/07/2021:  12:36:29

Hop Sing was preparing elk and the fixin’s for dinner.

Little Joe

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2021:  04:28:18

secretly resented being called Little.

He felt it was an unfair comparison

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2021:  11:13:50

to his big , fat overweight brother, Hoss.

Hoss put Hop Sing in a headlock

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/08/2021:  12:29:21

and he passed out for a few minutes.

This made Little Joe

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/08/2021:  13:33:41

a bit upset because he recently found out Hop Sing was secretly his biological brother.

It wasn’t long

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/08/2021:  14:05:49

until Adam and Pa rode in from town.

Little Joe ask Pa if

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2021:  16:42:49

the could send Hoss to live with another family.

Pa said they had tried that in the past but

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/08/2021:  19:00:16

he had always found his way home when he got really hungry.

Little Joe decided to

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2021:  03:18:36

move out himself and started packing.

He wasn’t sure

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2021:  08:30:58

if he should build a little house on the prairie or not.

He began cutting sod

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/09/2021:  10:59:31

one day to ease his tensions of this enduring episode.

He awoke the next day to find

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2021:  03:42:33

that he had been digging on the tenth fairway of the local golf course.

The golfers

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/10/2021:  04:17:03

soon noticed that up through the ground came a-bubbling crude, oil that is, Black Gold, Texas Tea.

It wasn’t long

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2021:  06:53:00

before shady bankers were wooing their business.

But oil and oily conmen don’t mix

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/10/2021:  07:59:27

together very well at all. It was said that only one man could take care of the problem.

Mr. Brewster saved the day by

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2021:  09:20:00

calling in a skilled negotiating team lead by Jayne Hathaway.

Jane quickly realized

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2021:  09:23:52

she was in deep water.

The cement pond

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/10/2021:  12:46:44

being plumb full and her not knowing how to swim or float had her in panic mode.



Jethro

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/10/2021 12:46:59

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/10/2021:  15:02:34

saw what was going on and jumped in to save her.

Little did he know that

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2021:  17:44:29

saving her would lead to a lifetime entanglement of codependency.

She was so needy

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2021:  18:22:51

that she had knee replacements annually.

She also had a collar around Jethro’s neck

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/11/2021:  12:49:57

leading him around like a puppy.

She was actually taking him to

OM45GE - Posted - 04/11/2021:  14:17:42

get neutered when he spotted a pile of junk next to the road.

He leapt from the car and

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/11/2021:  18:55:38

ran like the wind holding his own junk.

He

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/11/2021:  19:42:30

lifted his right leg and let loose with a torrent of urine.

Unfortunately an old hobo was sleeping in the rusty culvert

OM45GE - Posted - 04/12/2021:  03:22:02

and was not at all pleased at the unexpected golden shower.

He leapt to his feet and

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/12/2021:  06:55:22

and immediately fell down on his face.

Seems he forgot

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/12/2021:  10:41:26

where he was at the moment and was really pi$$ed off.

He then decided to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/12/2021:  10:53:37

ask Miss Jane for a couple of dollars for a hamburger.

She said Mr. Drysdale didn’t pay her enough

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/12/2021:  11:14:30

and he should just ask his Uncle Jed instead.

Uncle Jed told him to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/12/2021:  17:06:09

“Take a hike”!

So

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/12/2021:  17:30:59

he did what hoboes do - he headed for the freight yards with an old stogie he had found, short but not too big around.

He hopped the 9:23 bound for Reno

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/12/2021:  19:26:58

and arrived at 8 pm sharp checking in for the night at the Shady Rest.



Jethro awoke to find he wasnt

Edited by - KyBanjo on 04/12/2021 19:27:53

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/13/2021:  06:34:35

alone, but in the company of Betty Jo, Bobbie Jo, and Billie Jo.

Just then Uncle Joe

OM45GE - Posted - 04/13/2021:  07:33:06

arrive with his shotgun and an angry grimace.

He wasn’t at all pleased

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/13/2021:  09:15:44

with the slumber arrangement.

“Bodeen!” he bellowed,

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/13/2021:  10:15:59

you have exactly 10 seconds to git your sorry carcass out of here.

Barely catching his breath he then

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/13/2021:  11:37:28

fired a warning shot through the floor and into Kate’s Shady Rest kitchen.

Downstairs

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/13/2021:  13:28:46

the guests scattered to the four winds.

Speaking of wind

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/13/2021:  14:07:05

it was well known that Uncle Joe was full of it.

Turns out that Uncle Joe