chuckv97 - Posted - 10/25/2019:  12:59:03

I was weathering the storm quite well.

I scrambled down into my root cellar

OM45GE - Posted - 10/25/2019:  13:47:08

and looked lovingly at the parsnips, carrots and potatoes.

I think they were talking about me before I got there because

janolov - Posted - 10/26/2019:  00:34:09

Where I had a bottle of Whiskey under the carrots.

Then I heard a tremendous crash

OM45GE - Posted - 10/26/2019:  04:07:55

which seemed to be the sound of a page turning.

I’ve missed that sound a few times myself so

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/26/2019:  09:14:39

who am I to hurl invectives and other nasty put-downs.

The root cellar became eerily silent

OM45GE - Posted - 10/26/2019:  09:55:51

when we all came to the sudden realization that we knew were the crazed root cellar killer had been hiding.

It was useless to pretend

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/28/2019:  12:15:57

he was a figment of my fractured imagination.

My judo skills

OM45GE - Posted - 10/28/2019:  15:07:06

are limited to striking a threatening pose and making what I hope are scary yells.



After that, I don’t have much

Edited by - OM45GE on 10/28/2019 15:07:29

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/28/2019:  17:03:27

except for my pit bull, Bruno.

So I called for him, and

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/28/2019:  18:29:31

wouldn’t you know it - he’d run off with the cute spaniel next door.

That’s the last time

janolov - Posted - 10/29/2019:  00:25:53

I will feed him with reindeerhorn extract.
Next time he will

OM45GE - Posted - 10/29/2019:  02:56:07

get a well balanced diet of kibble.

If he’s a good dog, I might

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/29/2019:  03:46:20

even give him a pork chop.

But then that might

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/29/2019:  03:49:24

give him a yearning for chop suey.

Egg Foo Yung

OM45GE - Posted - 10/29/2019:  04:51:06

gave him explosive diarrhea so that’s off his menu.

He had a similar reaction to

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/29/2019:  05:15:57

gun powder and vicks salve.

WOW,,you talk about a

Dragonslayer - Posted - 10/29/2019:  12:21:36

Messy experience.

But I don't like to talk about it and usually change the subject to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/29/2019:  12:38:03

my Aunt Ethel’s goiter problems.

Poor Uncle Phineas

OM45GE - Posted - 10/29/2019:  14:18:28

has to live with her.

I don’t know how

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/29/2019:  15:46:34

they manage to pay the rent.

They both drink like fish

OM45GE - Posted - 10/29/2019:  17:30:19

and neither one of them has had a steady job in years.

Come to think of it,

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/29/2019:  17:57:22

they don’t pay rent because they actually own the place, and it’s so no-account the taxes must be minimal.

I dunno, could be they’re in the home distillation business, unless

OM45GE - Posted - 10/30/2019:  02:48:40

there’s a trust fund that I’m not aware of.

They have to be getting

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/30/2019:  05:40:03

aid from some source .

But they were never

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/30/2019:  07:15:11

seen at the welfare office since 1979.

Their caseworker at the time, Grunhilda Weiferstein,

MWBailey - Posted - 10/30/2019:  09:02:48

Had very nice eyes.

She always made googly eyes at me, because

Dragonslayer - Posted - 10/30/2019:  11:25:59

She insisted on wearing those funny groucho Marx glasses with the eyebrows

I never understood those, despite

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 10/30/2019:  11:32:22

My eyes rotated clockwise to her counter clockwise eye movements.

I notice some rather bumpy

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/30/2019:  11:40:24

roads in Wisconsin’s hinterlands.

My shock absorbers are leaking

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 10/30/2019:  12:24:43

Water and what appears to be gravy.

As I neared the turkey farm,

OM45GE - Posted - 10/30/2019:  14:04:15

I was assailed by the aroma of turkey feces.

It reminded me of

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/30/2019:  14:54:52

Thanksgiving dinners on the farm.



My old Dad wore his barn boots

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/30/2019 14:55:15

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/30/2019:  15:04:51

at the table.

On the other hand, my new dad dressed in

OM45GE - Posted - 10/30/2019:  15:40:11

a little black dress accessorized with a pearl choker and matching earrings.



The image is seared

Edited by - OM45GE on 10/30/2019 15:40:37

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 10/31/2019:  04:23:56

into my forearms by my depraved Kung Fu instructor.

David Carradine gets jealous when he sees

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2019:  04:46:13

me strutting around the dojo.

He may be worried that

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/31/2019:  05:23:13

my necessary humility is lacking and that I might apply a full nelson to his sorry carcass.

My high school gym teacher

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2019:  07:53:09

was a former Marine Corp drill instructor.

He was incredibly

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/31/2019:  11:09:37

adept with everything from a big Rockwell metal-cutting drill press to a small hand drill for delicate work like fifth-string spikes.



But being a free-lance drill instructor after retirement made for tenuous income, so

Edited by - Bill Rogers on 10/31/2019 11:10:48

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2019:  11:49:11

he decided to torture high school students.

The pay was okay, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/31/2019:  12:50:29

the incessant screaming aggravated his tinnitus condition.

We found him one morning under a park bench

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2019:  14:29:59

mumbling incoherently and occasionally shouting in a strange language.

We think he was trying

Bill Rogers - Posted - 10/31/2019:  17:15:53

to summon demons or maybe the ghost of Chesty Puller.

In any event, the social services department bundled him off to the old soldiers’ home, where

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/31/2019:  21:52:36

he relives old war experiences with other alcoholics.

Their tall tales

OM45GE - Posted - 11/01/2019:  03:30:13

amuse the nurses aids who record the semi-coherent ramblings on their smart phones and replay them in the employee lounge.

They have plans to

Bill Rogers - Posted - 11/01/2019:  12:20:36

organize them into an ebook.

On hearing that, a local attorney began salivating, because

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/01/2019:  13:04:07

litigation involving disclosure of military secrets can garner him a lucrative paycheque.

My present lawyer, Pierre Pichpoquet.

Bill Rogers - Posted - 11/01/2019:  18:10:15

who is affiliated with the legendary firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe, is licensed to also practice in the U.S.

He is already investigating the above mentioned old soldiers’ home to see

OM45GE - Posted - 11/02/2019:  03:41:17

if he can initiate a class action suit over the food service.

All he needs to prove