OM45GE - Posted - 06/16/2015:  17:18:40

that doesn't stop the locals from running around in shorts all year round. 

It makes you wonder

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/16/2015:  17:53:42

how long they'll be able to walk as they get older.

Of course old in North Dakota means

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/16/2015:  18:17:02

when someone gets to be like 110,,they stop running so much.

But they still eat their oatmeal and

OM45GE - Posted - 06/17/2015:  16:48:32

go to the bathroom regularly. 

What they can't do is

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/18/2015:  07:33:06

change transmissions in their '55 Chevys anymore.

Those dirt track ovals

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/18/2015:  10:04:07

sure are fun to roller skate on.

The sport of fishing will

OM45GE - Posted - 06/18/2015:  15:51:42

always be one of my favorite pastimes. 

Another one is

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/18/2015:  15:54:32

passing the time, a pastime that surprisingly takes more skill than fishing.

"Pass the thyme", said Aunt Flossie

OM45GE - Posted - 06/18/2015:  16:08:27

with a self satisfied smile at her cleverness. 

Frankly speaking, I found her quite

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/18/2015:  17:07:56

irritating at times.

She wears her T-shirts wrong side out and

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/18/2015:  19:02:27

wears her hair in a beehive, despite swarms of hornets circling her noggin.

Her hairdresser

OM45GE - Posted - 06/19/2015:  03:48:21

refuses to do anything except stand by and look on in horror at her messy do. 

The only good thing is

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/19/2015:  05:06:38

she uses "Secret" Anti-deodorant.

She goes to the disco every night and

jistgreg - Posted - 06/19/2015:  06:17:05

brings her Goodtime along. 

When she opens the case, 

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/19/2015:  17:15:28

a swarm of bees flies out, attacking any disco dancer with hives.

A goodtime at Grim Jim's

OM45GE - Posted - 06/19/2015:  18:36:33

consists of excessive drinking, fist fights and raucous games of tiddley winks. 

Meanwhile, in the back room 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/20/2015:  09:34:22

Aunt Flossie was having a VERY GOOD TIME.

And of course Uncle Orville was

OM45GE - Posted - 06/20/2015:  13:27:26

enjoying himself as well. 

He kept shouting something about

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/20/2015:  13:42:18

the road to hell is paved with good(time) intentions.

The Deerings then filed a lawsuit

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/20/2015:  15:37:06

but the Morgan Monroe Co. won the case.

The case they won was pretty well worn out so they

OM45GE - Posted - 06/20/2015:  16:11:02

ordered a new one from Carlton Cases. 

When the bill came 

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/20/2015:  20:05:48

they couldn't read it ,cuz it was written in Canadian.

Only pay with colo(u)red money

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/21/2015:  03:55:44

because colo(u)blue money is illegal.

The Queen will be very upset when she

OM45GE - Posted - 06/21/2015:  07:56:14

finally realizes that the Canadians are driving on the wrong side of the road. 

It might explain

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/21/2015:  13:45:07

why Quebeckers boycott the Royal visits.

Jackie Robinson played for the Montreal Royals

OM45GE - Posted - 06/21/2015:  18:18:56

, but he never learned to speak Canadian French. 

He preferred

jistgreg - Posted - 06/21/2015:  23:43:04

quote:

---

Originally posted by OM45GE

 

, but he never learned to speak Canadian French. 

He preferred

---

a patois de foie gras. 

That was a pastiche of American street slang, 

OM45GE - Posted - 06/22/2015:  05:09:54

and a culinary delight, albeit a controversial one. 

Personally, I like

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/22/2015:  08:39:55

steak and potatoes.

There will always be a

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/22/2015:  09:03:45

field to graze on for cattle ,and light soil for growing the spuds.

French cut green beans,however,

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/22/2015:  11:35:26

have to be grown in France.

Irish potatoes aren't going to

jistgreg - Posted - 06/22/2015:  17:10:37

blow up post boxes (mailboxes) anymore. 

Since they've been given representation 

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/22/2015:  18:20:24

in the U.K. Potato Growers Assn. ,the fighting Irish have gone back to the confession booths.

Father Seamus O'Flaherty

jistgreg - Posted - 06/22/2015:  21:08:27

will get you nowhere, as the saying goes. 

But you'll get a nice, warm feeling 

OM45GE - Posted - 06/23/2015:  04:53:58

just knowing that he is someone else's problem now. 

I don't go to confession because I have

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/23/2015:  05:44:07

the authority to speak to God for myself.

But when the snow mobiles are running,,never ever

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/23/2015:  06:35:36

confess that you secretly hate them - the local yokels will drag you through icy waters.

High-pitched motors

OM45GE - Posted - 06/23/2015:  13:55:29

have a way of grating on your nerves until you get to the point where you do something really crazy.

Like the time I

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/23/2015:  15:05:57

ate 45 paw-paws in an hour.

Maybe times will get better when

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/23/2015:  20:35:06

everyone pipes down buy buying new mufflers and scarves.

Ear plugs

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/24/2015:  06:33:15

are sometimes sold individually,,,in case someone has only one ear.

It you are a drug addict,,,please don't

OM45GE - Posted - 06/24/2015:  10:10:28

ask to borrow my ATM card 'cause it's not going to happen. 

I fell for that a few times before

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/24/2015:  11:47:52

but after I fell,I got back up.

The Farmall tractor didn't have

OM45GE - Posted - 06/24/2015:  16:17:06

air conditioning, cruise control or satellite navigation. 

However, it did have

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/24/2015:  21:28:50

a manual choke and a power takeoff, features I dearly miss ever since I left the farm for the bright lights of the city.

Those city slickers

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/25/2015:  03:10:13

sure know how to get slicked up.

You have to get slicked up if

OM45GE - Posted - 06/25/2015:  16:10:27

you want to hang around with that crowd. 

They can be

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/25/2015:  16:42:20

very interesting,,,,if you're a country boy.

They tell me the city girls know

OM45GE - Posted - 06/25/2015:  18:54:30

how to do things that country girls have never even heard of. 

The even know how to