Whimsy - Posted - 02/28/2016:  17:26:35

so she just played the banjo instead.
But she dreamed of

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2016:  18:33:39

fame and fortune as an international political advisor. 

Someone had told her they

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/28/2016:  20:27:01

would let her ride in an open convertible during Saint Patrick's Day parades.

But her name

Whimsy - Posted - 02/28/2016:  22:18:27

Was Fancy.
She knew if she was nice

OM45GE - Posted - 02/29/2016:  03:35:20

they would be nice in return.

On the other hand, if

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/29/2016:  04:42:39

you look,,you'll see a wedding ring.

Some men and women reguard the wedding ring as

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/29/2016:  07:18:03

as a ox's nose ring, yanked this way and that way.

Pawn shops lick their chops

OM45GE - Posted - 02/29/2016:  11:43:42

when they see the statistics on divorce.

They know there will be

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/29/2016:  13:02:31

extra women on the loose.

Some of them don't really

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/29/2016:  13:57:25

act loose, but tell the wolves that they're easy but not cheap.

A mink stole

OM45GE - Posted - 02/29/2016:  16:18:35

away into the forest because he didn't want to be turned into a stole. 

You can't really blame him

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/01/2016:  02:33:51

because it hurts when someone kills you.

Anyone who has been killed will tell you

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2016:  03:30:20

if they could only speak. 

It's actually pretty obvious

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/01/2016:  04:07:43

that kites can't fly without wind.

Red Rider once said that if Little Beaver would only

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/01/2016:  09:17:41

find a nice Sioux girl, he'd get lost .

The Beav had trouble

OM45GE - Posted - 03/02/2016:  03:39:37

explaining the origins of his nickname. 

No one in his family

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/03/2016:  08:20:24

knows who they really are.

It gets confusing when you get to the 3rd

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/03/2016:  08:25:19

grade and you still can't tie your shoelaces or print your last name.



Schoolyard bullies

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/03/2016 08:25:41

OM45GE - Posted - 03/03/2016:  12:25:22

can be pretty merciless if you keep tripping over your untied shoelaces.

It also makes it diffucult

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/03/2016:  14:48:48

to keep your shoes on.

Our 2nd grade teacher said that we should

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/03/2016:  14:53:08

march on Washington to protest the putrid lunchroom food.

She just wanted us

OM45GE - Posted - 03/04/2016:  03:23:56

learn more about civic protest. 

She didn't realize that we

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/04/2016:  04:36:35

are note voters age yet.

It's hard to talk to a school teacher..They think they know

OM45GE - Posted - 03/04/2016:  07:13:01

more than we do and like to lord that over us.

If I had the education to argue with them I

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/04/2016:  08:00:44

surely would because that's all they want to do.

But I would rather talk about old cars and guns and

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/04/2016:  08:27:31

drive-in movies and duck-tail hairdos.

Bobby sox are not a baseball team

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/04/2016:  09:41:57

although some of us boys tried to make a "game" out of it.

When you've seen one Bobby sox,you've

OM45GE - Posted - 03/04/2016:  09:58:09

probably seen another, strewn along the hallway leading to the bedroom.

That is, if you have teenagers in the house who

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/04/2016:  15:34:05

think they're living in the 1950's and necking in '52 Studebakers.

Baby Boomers are not

OM45GE - Posted - 03/04/2016:  16:36:29

the only generation to think they were the first to discover something.

However, they are

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/05/2016:  13:38:52

the last to uncover something- the dirty deeds of swindlers on late night television.

People who stay up late

OM45GE - Posted - 03/05/2016:  15:32:22

see all kinds of things they never expected to see. 

For example, the other night I saw

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/06/2016:  12:16:30

two kangaroos on a bicycle built for one.

Some other things you might see are unspeakable like

OM45GE - Posted - 03/07/2016:  03:30:39

when the fat guy next door left the outhouse door open. 

I still can't get

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/07/2016:  04:45:30

my eyes back in focus after seeing that.

I know she's only 19 but what

OM45GE - Posted - 03/07/2016:  05:10:11

a beautiful young woman the neighbor's daughter is. 

She's also by smart and 

Edited by - OM45GE on 03/07/2016 05:10:44

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/07/2016:  05:32:56

by t'underin' geezus, a damn guud cod fisherman.

Squeezeboxes on east coast dories

OM45GE - Posted - 03/07/2016:  07:46:35

quickly become soaked with sea water which makes the bellows soggy and corrodes the reeds rendering th instrument petty much unplayable. 

This pleases some people but 

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/07/2016:  09:34:28

sea water is yucky.

Never go swimming in a

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/07/2016:  09:36:34

duck pond in Gainesville - you might contract Lastworditis.

The only remedy

OM45GE - Posted - 03/07/2016:  12:59:39

is a weekend retreat with Xena, which will leave you speechless. 

After that you can

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/07/2016:  13:35:49

only make weird sounds.

Be careful because some of those sounds

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/07/2016:  13:46:48

rile up the local constabulary,resulting in getting handcuffed to a squad car door.

Sgt. O'Riley takes

OM45GE - Posted - 03/07/2016:  13:57:11

great pride in his ability to tighten handcuffs to the point where they hurt like hell but don't leave any tell tale marks. 

He's also good at

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/07/2016:  15:26:31

punching you in the gut when you won't shut up.

But he's fair about it..He gives you a chance to

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/07/2016:  20:42:01

to phone your lawyer, but won't lend you a quarter for the pay phone.

His wife cooks

OM45GE - Posted - 03/08/2016:  03:36:21

often but not very well. 

Yesterday she baked

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/08/2016:  04:09:57

a cake with a file in it.

Why did she do a silly

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/08/2016:  08:02:32

shenanigans like that? - because she has eyes for me.

She whispered to me