chuckv97 - Posted - 07/26/2014:  07:10:38

why the hounds turned against me.

I've always

MWBailey - Posted - 07/26/2014:  11:32:31

Picked their noses for them with a wildebeest horn.

wherd are my socks when

jistgreg - Posted - 07/26/2014:  14:25:23

I kneed them? 

Or is it "knead" -- I can never remember 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/26/2014:  14:53:44

anything anymore

tithe sun came up in the

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/26/2014:  17:40:06

evening today ,making for a chaotic panic on the freeway.

Folks shouted obscenities

MWBailey - Posted - 07/26/2014:  19:09:37

as they dodged each other and a herd of cows imported from Kobe, japan, which had been let loose when the driver of the cattle truck, blinded by the sudden anomalous post-meridienal sunrise, turned his vehicle over after ramming a busload of visiting phrenologists.



The cows were so spoiled by the famed Kobe bovine rearing process that they

Edited by - MWBailey on 07/26/2014 19:10:57

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/27/2014:  04:30:34

flashed their udders at the passing traffic.

Then the National Guard came and

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/27/2014:  07:12:20

shot at the sun to make it sink beyond the horizon.

Alas, the

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/27/2014:  15:26:19

it's dark again so I can sleep

the fish are

MWBailey - Posted - 07/27/2014:  16:06:06

conspiring against the Coast Guard.

That's inconvenient, because

jistgreg - Posted - 07/27/2014:  16:13:48

the Coast Guard was relying on the fish to aim torpedos. 

Kind of like underwater drones, the fish would 

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/27/2014:  17:21:52

go to school to study military maneuvers .



Private Flounder

Edited by - chuckv97 on 07/27/2014 17:22:34

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/27/2014:  17:49:02

was caught and rendered to the tuna factory

the last time I

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/28/2014:  03:50:30

saw it,it was in Woolworths 5&10 restaurant

Being eaten by

OM45GE - Posted - 07/28/2014:  04:16:22

a ravenous group from the local elder center.

They were generally

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/28/2014:  06:39:38

making pigs of themselves.

Just then Porky Pig came

OM45GE - Posted - 07/28/2014:  07:03:08

along and pulled up to the table.

He tucked a napkin

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/28/2014:  11:21:25

in his ears to block out the rantings of the ravenous geritol crowd.

Some were offended 

Edited by - chuckv97 on 07/28/2014 11:23:31

OM45GE - Posted - 07/28/2014:  11:31:22

that a swine would be seated at their table.

While others

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/28/2014:  12:44:43

waited for the chef to cook the swine.

Annie Oakley was from

OM45GE - Posted - 07/28/2014:  13:16:01

Ohio.

Her real name was Phoebe Ann Moses but she

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/28/2014:  14:33:00

wanted to drive for Oakley Truck Lines.

So she

OM45GE - Posted - 07/28/2014:  14:46:26

got her CDL and DOT physical, studied up on CB lingo and bought some chrome accessories.

Then she

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/28/2014:  21:50:38

bought a Harley and married a Angle

My first attempt at

OM45GE - Posted - 07/29/2014:  02:57:51

building an inter-galactic spaceship ended rather badly.

This time I'm

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/29/2014:  03:12:49

going to hire some Russians to build it for me.

I want to try a new material on it called

OM45GE - Posted - 07/29/2014:  03:43:20

Cosmoline.

They assure me it is

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/29/2014:  07:28:27

as tough as quikset oatmeal.

Another feature

OM45GE - Posted - 07/29/2014:  08:41:33

is the piquant aroma that is quite pervasive.

It reminds me of

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/29/2014:  20:16:09

a pig lot or horse barn

My new tractor is

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/30/2014:  03:08:11

a TD18 International (on tracks),Will pull 16 bottom plow.

My new cow is

OM45GE - Posted - 07/30/2014:  03:35:36

a Belted Galloway.

It reminds me of

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/30/2014:  04:46:00

the cow that jumped over the moon.

Cheese on the moon

OM45GE - Posted - 07/30/2014:  04:49:32

is different from cheese here on Earth.

For one thing,

jistgreg - Posted - 07/30/2014:  18:07:17

it weighs only one sixth as much. 

For another thing, 

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/30/2014:  18:32:36

mooncheese is green and a staple for the man in the moon.

He never

OM45GE - Posted - 07/31/2014:  02:35:56

eats the stuff, saying it is completely unpalatable.

Instead, he

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/31/2014:  03:34:00

lives on the moon's "love rays".

Never tell a BHO member

OM45GE - Posted - 07/31/2014:  05:44:40

about the "incident" that no one knows about.

He will

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/31/2014:  06:59:23

scratch his head and wonder why his memory has failed him.

However,female BHO members

OM45GE - Posted - 07/31/2014:  07:44:53

seem to have much better memories.

They remember things that

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/31/2014:  19:39:30

doesn't really mater and ridicul you for no
cause

I am out of here for

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/31/2014:  19:52:03

the rest of the summer.

I'm heading north

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/01/2014:  04:08:15

where the "pole" is.

Don't expect me back untill

OM45GE - Posted - 08/01/2014:  05:45:48

my aimless wanderings bring me here again.

That may not

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/01/2014:  06:54:21

be until the cows come home.

Now if I only

OM45GE - Posted - 08/01/2014:  10:13:26

had some cows to come home in the first place. 

I don't think yaks 

jistgreg - Posted - 08/01/2014:  10:26:18

are worth much if elicited with scatological humor. 

It's Hartebeest Humboldt when you're 

OM45GE - Posted - 08/01/2014:  11:41:51

looking for an interesting member of the antelope genus.

They've been known to