OM45GE - Posted - 07/14/2017:  13:39:28

I was flat broke and homeless, but if I can only come up with a few thousand dollars I'm sure I can win it all back.

My luck has to

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/15/2017:  03:02:05

get better in order to change.

I guess I'll just go back home and

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/15/2017:  07:08:18

harness the mule ,hook up the plough, and plant some corn.

Who needs money when you have

OM45GE - Posted - 07/15/2017:  07:38:40

a good mule and a field of corn?

That's my idea of

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/15/2017:  08:51:14

good clean farm living.

Of course there's bad dirty farm living but that will

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/15/2017:  09:46:10

be swept under the outhouse, so to speak.

Winston showed up yesterday with his sewer-sucker truck

OM45GE - Posted - 07/15/2017:  11:44:58

with the sign in th e back saying, "Number 1 in a Number 2 Business."

He was quite proud

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/15/2017:  14:00:08

of the new slogan..

But his wife doesn't like the

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/15/2017:  14:12:34

stink he brings into the house after a busy day sucking up outhouse holes.

She makes him

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2017:  04:31:05

Take his clothes off in the garage and hose off in the yard. 

The neighbors aren't 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/16/2017:  09:07:42

to happy with that either.

Ralph told Norton that if he

OM45GE - Posted - 07/17/2017:  10:30:49

tried to wear his sewer clothes into the apartment one more time it was "POW!!! Straight to the moon!!!!"

Norton always wanted to be an astronaut, so

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/17/2017:  13:32:33

he wore his clothes into the apartment one more time.

But we all know how Ralph is big bluff and Alice told him to

OM45GE - Posted - 07/17/2017:  15:46:37

knock off the bullying crap or she would send HIM to the moon.

Unlike Ralph, Alice really would

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/17/2017:  17:29:14

haul off and slug him, with 10 years of difficult married life fueling her roundhouse rights.

Her sister married Paul Newman ,but she ended up

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2017:  02:43:15

married to Steve Allen 

He was very

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/18/2017:  03:19:23

intelligent but no common since.

Steve always said

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/18/2017:  03:42:29

he wrote 294 songs but nary a one became a bluegrass hit.

He once shot Parr

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2017:  04:41:55

at the local mini-golf range.

He was playing with Jack Parr, who

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/18/2017:  06:04:15

Parr for the course.

The thunderstorm put a damper on their

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2017:  07:14:21

little party when is struck a nearby tree and shocked them all into unconsciousness.

When they recovered, 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/18/2017:  08:10:43

they couldn't remember who was who.

So they went into the clubhouse and asked

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/18/2017:  08:12:01

Johnny Carson and Merv Griffin who were standing there doubled over with laughter.



After that embarrassment 

Edited by - chuckv97 on 07/18/2017 08:13:33

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2017:  12:09:42

they decided not to go outside every again.

That ended up not

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/18/2017:  14:38:27

being such a good day for them.

But things livened up when

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/18/2017:  15:10:09

Rodney Dangerfield showed up with his caddy Jerry Lewis.

They started at the 19th hole and

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/18/2017:  17:32:59

played backwards to the third hole

Have you ever had

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/19/2017:  02:53:48

everyone on the course mad at you?

It was short lived because Rodney

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/19/2017:  06:46:02

did his standup routine and soon everyone forgot what they were mad at.

The management,however, gave Rodney no respect

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/20/2017:  03:39:46

and asked him to leave the clubhouse.

The other golfers got upset again and started

OM45GE - Posted - 07/22/2017:  04:05:30

doing ng their own Rodney impersonations. 

Suddenly the clubhouse was filled with 

Edited by - OM45GE on 07/22/2017 04:05:46

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/22/2017:  08:44:54

laughter and shananigans.

Then someone called security and the

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/22/2017:  10:07:03

jig was up.

Lately I've been feeling comfortable in my own skin

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/22/2017:  12:05:17

because I can't get in anyone elses skin.

Farmer Brown heard noises in the corn field last night and

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2017:  02:55:20

sent his wife out to investigate. 

While she was gone, he

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/24/2017:  03:52:53

loaded the shotgun and waited.

She came back and said it was only a

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/24/2017:  06:00:02

broke and hungry banjo picker looking for a little corn to feed on.

Corn cob pipes

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/24/2017:  07:20:29

and chewing tobacco were popular when I was a kid.

But now it's

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2017:  13:40:44

vapes,which I don't see the attraction to.

They seem sort of

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/24/2017:  14:22:55

meaningless in a world gone mad.

I'm packing my grip

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/24/2017:  16:08:25

and going home for awhile.

I've never liked it when

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2017:  18:27:43

I get there, but I'm always a little sad when it's time to leave. 

I know I sound confused, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/24/2017:  20:45:51

that's the result of banging my head against the wall sleeping with my fat wife.

She hogs

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2017:  03:07:14

the bed and her snoring has caused me permanent hearing loss. 

Not only that, but she

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/25/2017:  03:10:52

passes gas when her back is toward me.

Sometimes I have to

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2017:  03:15:08

run outside to avoid asphyxiation. 

She thinks it's t funny but

Edited by - OM45GE on 07/25/2017 03:15:23

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/25/2017:  05:13:33

it's cold outside.

Well,I suppose that's

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2017:  05:23:14

for the best as the stink seems not to travel as far in the cold air.

It's still pretty noxious

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/25/2017:  05:54:57

so I think I'll sleep in the porch swing.

Don't wake me till she